
ecmnesia
the only thing humans are equal in is death
- Aug 30, 2020
- 767
why the fuck nothing brings me satisfaction. this is pure hell. just let me feel something aside from pain and nothing.
I'm sorry you can't find satisfaction in nothing anymoere. To sum up, when it comes to me, I'm not carrying much about pleasure or even pain. I just can't stand who i am and the place I am in, which most of the time makes me a disguting human being. And I try to not care about it sometimes, but I just can't, it's who I am and I care about it.why the fuck nothing brings me satisfaction. this is pure hell. just let me feel something aside from pain and nothing.
i can relate. gradually everything became pointless to me too. there is no reason for us to put effort into anything cause in the end we can't get nothing out of them, except from pain sometimes. so why bother?I try to explain this very feeling to my psychiatrist and occupational therapist. Anhedonia is a bitterly cruel thing to be affected by, when you get zero pleasure from anything it really makes you stop caring about everything. The most disheartening thing with it is that I try to follow the suggestions my occupational therapist makes but it makes no difference to my situation because I get nothing from it, no endorphins, no more energy, no pleasure, nothing nothing nothing. And yes it’s pure hell to live this way, for me it’s led me to a point where I don’t care about myself anymore, it’s only a matter of time before I step onto the bus.