ecmnesia
the only thing humans are equal in is death
- Aug 30, 2020
- 766
why the fuck nothing brings me satisfaction. this is pure hell. just let me feel something aside from pain and nothing.
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I'm sorry you can't find satisfaction in nothing anymoere. To sum up, when it comes to me, I'm not carrying much about pleasure or even pain. I just can't stand who i am and the place I am in, which most of the time makes me a disguting human being. And I try to not care about it sometimes, but I just can't, it's who I am and I care about it.
Metalhead
Born slippy
- Sep 21, 2020
- 213
I try to explain this very feeling to my psychiatrist and occupational therapist. Anhedonia is a bitterly cruel thing to be affected by, when you get zero pleasure from anything it really makes you stop caring about everything. The most disheartening thing with it is that I try to follow the suggestions my occupational therapist makes but it makes no difference to my situation because I get nothing from it, no endorphins, no more energy, no pleasure, nothing nothing nothing. And yes it's pure hell to live this way, for me it's led me to a point where I don't care about myself anymore, it's only a matter of time before I step onto the bus.
ecmnesia
the only thing humans are equal in is death
- Aug 30, 2020
- 766
i can relate. gradually everything became pointless to me too. there is no reason for us to put effort into anything cause in the end we can't get nothing out of them, except from pain sometimes. so why bother?
not even sleep makes me feel better. it's merely about being unconscious.
anhedonia makes me feel as if I am already dead. i am merely a breathing corpse that can experience pain, boredom and nothing else.
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AMorteVivente
The void is only scary until you truly suffer
- Mar 15, 2020
- 42
I can relate, I have been in that situation for years (5 years to be precise). Autohypnosis helps me sometimes, you could always try that. It's one of my main reasons for ctb.
Gromit-CTB
time for ctb
- Nov 14, 2020
- 847
Had that feeling for so many years, it's become my normal. All I want is ctb and I can't even get that all my methods don't work and the one thing I want (SN) I can't get. Would sell my soul for 100g of SN
I think it's hard to enjoy anything if it's not towards some further goal like with music I am usually doing things other than listening. Otherwise it's like a dopamine fix the brain probably knows you're cheating it and learns to ignore it. It's tough with depression because you're trying to use things to pull yourself out of it and it just doesn't work.
yive
life is evil
- Nov 6, 2020
- 695
softfuzzyman
Rot
- Aug 17, 2020
- 77
I've been having emotional whiplash from my brain tentatively trying to slightly enjoy stuff again and feel just the tiniest bit inspired by stuff, like playing starbound and drawing and music, and even though my constant fatigue of being alive and malaise is still there, being buoyed just a little bit by finding the littlest stuff to enjoy and distract myself with for even a moment, and then just absolutely plummeting back into the absolute fucking pits of numbness and negativity and anhedonia. I feel like I'm going to come unglued on this rollercoaster and this isn't what I asked for when I was strictly anhedonic for months on end and wished it would end...
signifying nothing
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- Sep 13, 2020
- 2,553
I used to feel like this all the time, still do sometimes now, its like being in a mental wasteland.
I found meditation helped me. I didn't actively try to do it at first, my life was just at such a standstill I found I was essentially doing it anyway.
But giving a little bit of effort to doing it more consciously makes it easier, more able to be ok with where your mind is at, however grim a place.
I found meditation helped me. I didn't actively try to do it at first, my life was just at such a standstill I found I was essentially doing it anyway.
But giving a little bit of effort to doing it more consciously makes it easier, more able to be ok with where your mind is at, however grim a place.
