Help I am seriously thinking about ctb

[DUDale]

I am thinking about ending it. I am conflicted inside. SI is battling reality. I know I should die. I know I need to. But right now survival instinct is putting up quite a struggle. Anyone have any advice? Suggestions? Maybe get drunk and SI won't be so problematic? I don't fear death. It doesn't frighten me at all. I'm old. I lived a life already. Now old and severely disabled with multiple health issues. I know that I am better off dead. Things can only and will only get worse. Can no longer afford to live either. Reality must win eventually. Does anyone have a good way to delete or disable SI? Help!

 

[dontwakemeup]

I feel the same way my friend. Do what I'm doing and pour a glass of alcohol and try to figure it out tomorrow. Life is overwhelming and the thought of waking up tomorrow is unbearable. Try taking a nap or pour a tall glass of something. Sorry I don't have better advice for you

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I am thinking about ending it. I am conflicted inside. SI is battling reality. I know I should die. I know I need to. But right now survival instinct is putting up quite a struggle. Anyone have any advice? Suggestions? Maybe get drunk and SI won't be so problematic? I don't fear death. It doesn't frighten me at all. I'm old. I lived a life already. Now old and severely disabled with multiple health issues. I know that I am better off dead. Things can only and will only get worse. Can no longer afford to live either. Reality must win eventually. Does anyone have a good way to delete or disable SI? Help!

what method ?

 

[Firefly.Forest]

I understand your conflict and find myself in a similar position as far as multiple health/financial/aging issues.
I extend empathy to you - just because a path might be in your best interest does not mean it is easy.

From the reading I have done, alcohol does reduce your inhibitions - that being said depending on your chosen method it might interfere with the "clear head" needed for a successful attempt.

I am attaching a link for your reference

Scientific Approach to Understanding SI and Discussion on Tools to Minimze SI Factors

This post aims to provide an educational/informational overview of the various scientific factors that contribute to survival instincts (SI), particularly the innate drive for self-preservation and the automatic responses that arise in the face of harm and danger. While it does not delve into...

sanctioned-suicide.net

I wish you peace and send you hugs

 

[DUDale]

what method ?

I'm leaning towards fentanyl but considering other options but probably fentanyl. I did it once before in March this year but 1 asshole couldn't mind his own business and called in a welfare check and I was cruelly brought back from the dead so I might want to do something irreversible this time but probably will end up going with fentanyl because it's easiest and completely painless.