Crimson Red
Reincarnated
- Dec 4, 2024
- 14
I am hanging out with a few fellow patients, they're here for physical stuff and pain, nothing mental. We are playing table football (soccer) and I am losing, for some reason I get really agitated which is followed by the question "Do you have anger issues?". I break down laughing uncontrollably and say in the most sarcastic voice nooooo.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I literally did not want to laugh or say anything really?? Yet it happened and now I feel cringe and edgy for doing it but also I felt like I was not in control at that moment.
This just adds up on my list of reasons, I recently started hearing very quiet noises which could just be my fantasy playing tricks on me but the occurrences are increasing and no one else seems to notice them. They're also really out of place, like my moms voice while she's hundreds of kilometers away.
I want to talk to my therapist about this but I already am diagnosed with 3 different things and maybe she will think I am making stuff up for attention. Maybe I am but it's not on purpose. I wish to end it all but I will probably just be found, bleeding out on the bathroom floor because I was too pussy and pressed the panic alarm or something.
What the fuck is wrong with me? I literally did not want to laugh or say anything really?? Yet it happened and now I feel cringe and edgy for doing it but also I felt like I was not in control at that moment.
This just adds up on my list of reasons, I recently started hearing very quiet noises which could just be my fantasy playing tricks on me but the occurrences are increasing and no one else seems to notice them. They're also really out of place, like my moms voice while she's hundreds of kilometers away.
I want to talk to my therapist about this but I already am diagnosed with 3 different things and maybe she will think I am making stuff up for attention. Maybe I am but it's not on purpose. I wish to end it all but I will probably just be found, bleeding out on the bathroom floor because I was too pussy and pressed the panic alarm or something.