diseasedstreetcat
Member
- Nov 8, 2023
- 12
i'm sure someone else has this kind of struggle so please signal if you feel the same. All of my life, it has felt as though my life has no merit outside of what i can achieve. After all, why would it have? sure i am loved, sure i am unique, but so what? hundreds of thousands of people are. For my life to have any value i need to be among the big names of history. Those in the books, those who everyone reverences and remembers, that everybody learns about. Only them truly did or had something that made them actually special.
if not that, then what? then i am just a number nobody cares about. my lifetime will be inconsequential to life itself. i have worked tirelessly hard to keep myself sharp on my skills, but it is for nothing. there's always someone who can do it better, sooner. I have been robbed so much by my mental health as well. i could be magnitudes more impressive than i am if i wasn't constantly weighted and chained down. and i keep on trying to work, but every single time it's like life shuts the door on my face. i am so tired and desperate. i wish i didn't have to feel like i am constantly losing the race.
if not that, then what? then i am just a number nobody cares about. my lifetime will be inconsequential to life itself. i have worked tirelessly hard to keep myself sharp on my skills, but it is for nothing. there's always someone who can do it better, sooner. I have been robbed so much by my mental health as well. i could be magnitudes more impressive than i am if i wasn't constantly weighted and chained down. and i keep on trying to work, but every single time it's like life shuts the door on my face. i am so tired and desperate. i wish i didn't have to feel like i am constantly losing the race.