I am not trying to pick up girls, I am just lonely...

[Meditation guide]

You're making baseless accusations and then mocking me. You're the definition of dunning kruger effect. "Something happened to me so that means everyone else is doing it!" I'm happy that people like you suffer. View attachment 120599View attachment 120600

I'm bad and you're an angel? I would never say to anyone what you just said to me here:
"You're making baseless accusations and then mocking me. You're the definition of dunning kruger effect."

Take a look at your own behavior here before you criticise anyone else for theirs.

If anyone pressures to chat offsite it's a red flag. That's all, plus yes there are predators here even on site ones.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

These strange posts are recent sign ups. I'm not sure if it's simply people who are naive and don't understand the purpose of this site or something else.

S.S. is not a personal networking site of any kind. Trying to pull people away from it to connect elsewhere while being here a short time disregards respect for others and appropriate boundaries which create a safe space for people to deal with the deeply personal topic of suicide. It is sketchy and inappropriate. There are other suitable forums to find a romantic companion.

Do you work for a HR department? Sounds like something they would write. There's nothing wrong people wanting to connect with eachother even of site. Romance has no place here but there's no issue with people using discord to chat, playgames, voice call etc

These strange posts are recent sign ups. I'm not sure if it's simply people who are naive and don't understand the purpose of this site or something else.

S.S. is not a personal networking site of any kind. Trying to pull people away from it to connect elsewhere while being here a short time disregards respect for others and appropriate boundaries which create a safe space for people to deal with the deeply personal topic of suicide. It is sketchy and inappropriate. There

 

[Bruce]

These strange posts are recent sign ups. I'm not sure if it's simply people who are naive and don't understand the purpose of this site or something else.

S.S. is not a personal networking site of any kind. Trying to pull people away from it to connect elsewhere while being here a short time disregards respect for others and appropriate boundaries which create a safe space for people to deal with the deeply personal topic of suicide. It is sketchy and inappropriate. There are other suitable forums to find a romantic companion.

So what can I do if I'm new!? Am I not allowed to have opinions? Did I hurt you or anyone else?

And I'm not trying to pull anyone from anywhere.

 

[Old Friend]

Reached out to me too. Called me "man", so I'm pretty sure he knows I'm male.

 

[Meditation guide]

But this can happen anywhere, any time, should one stop talking to anyone ever again? I mean, sure, it's an option.

You are also free to say no to a bad person but there are good guys too out there, they're just.. not so obvious.

Ok I give up, I can't make anyone understand.

 

[IfyouareamanWinston]

I think there's a middle ground to be reached when it comes to cases like this.

If the user has not shown any creepy behavior, if there were no claims that they were harassing people in or outside SS, it's really not the right thing to treat them with such high prejudice and suspicion. Everyone deserves to be treated kindly, especially if they didn't do anything wrong.

But as a woman who also gets a lot of inappropriate unwanted attention, I understand this kind of visceral (or logical) reaction. Retro, in one of his threads, have shown to posses questionable ideas when it comes to dating and women in general (treating relationships with women as something of "animalistic desire" and seeing us as only caring for looks and money).

I personally have not talked to him. And I'm not going to make judgements on someone I don't know. But I also won't judge someone for being careful of people who posses these views, specially if they've been hurt by them.

Btw, I'm not excusing anyone. "Harassment bad" goes for all sides. Some posts in this thread I think could've been worded in a much more respectful way. This is just my opinion on the situation.

I agree, as a female sometimes people will ignore my polite rejection when I say no and keep trying to convince me to do something. It's really frustrating and invalidating to say no and have someone try to cajole you. In those cases I am a bitch . Idk the truth of this interaction and I also don't think he should have called them out by name. At the same time I don't think asking to vc immediately makes someone predatory. Assuming there is no evidence of inappropriate behavior I think it's best to just end this with a mutual block and not spread rumors that are not backed.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

I'm bad and you're an angel? I would never say to anyone what you just said to me here:
"You're making baseless accusations and then mocking me. You're the definition of dunning kruger effect."

Take a look at your own behavior here before you criticise anyone else for theirs.

You accused him of being a sexual predator because he wants to make friends with people and he's a male. I have already explained why you're being highly presumptions and rude. I don't have a problem with insults when people deserve them. You're making baseless accusations and then mocking me for speaking out against them and proving proof and basic logic. IN ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP THERE'S POTENTIAL FOR MANIPULATION. I'm calling you an idiot because you think it's okay to accuse someone of being a sexual predator due to your prejudice, misandry, and lack of logic.

I was not offended by you mocking me, just that you did it in such a pitiful way.

 

[Meditation guide]

I don't care. You think it's okay to accuse someone of being a sexual predator because they're a misandrist and extremely prejudice? It makes me happy when ignorant horrible people suffer and I don't feel ashamed of it. If the guy really wanted to manipulate people why even make a post like this? He could easily just stay on here and DM people indiscriminately. Harsh words for harsh people.

Maybe he is playing innocent for a while? There are others I've had the misfortune here of talking to who seemed wonderful and it went on for a while before suddenly they revealed the real purpose.

 

[ipmanwc0]

I think there's a middle ground to be reached when it comes to cases like this.

If the user has not shown any creepy behavior, if there were no claims that they were harassing people in or outside SS, it's really not the right thing to treat them with such high prejudice and suspicion. Everyone deserves to be treated kindly, especially if they didn't do anything wrong.

But as a woman who also gets a lot of inappropriate unwanted attention, I understand this kind of visceral (or logical) reaction. Retro, in one of his threads, have shown to posses questionable ideas when it comes to dating and women in general (treating relationships with women as something of "animalistic desire" and seeing us as only caring for looks and money).

I personally have not talked to him. And I'm not going to make judgements on someone I don't know. But I also won't judge someone for being careful of people who posses these views, specially if they've been hurt by them.

Btw, I'm not excusing anyone. "Harassment bad" goes for all sides. Some posts in this thread I think could've been worded in a much more respectful way. This is just my opinion on the situation.

you might just be the most reasonable person i've ever met

 

[Meditation guide]

You accused him of being a sexual predator because he wants to make friends with people and he's a male. I have already explained why you're being highly presumptions and rude. I don't have a problem with insults when people deserve them. You're making baseless accusations and then mocking me for speaking out against them and proving proof and basic logic. IN ANY KIND OF RELATIONSHIP THERE'S POTENTIAL FOR MANIPULATION. I'm calling you an idiot because you think it's okay to accuse someone of being a sexual predator due to your prejudice, misandry, and lack of logic.

You don't sound so great yourself.

Why doesn't he find the appropriate type of site for friendship? This is not it, at least not this way he's trying it. Aren't there some free dating sites or chat sites that aren't full of vulnerable suicidal people? This site is for discussing ctb.

 

[Innereye]

You aren't the first guy to mistake this for a dating site and you won't be the last even if you call it "friends".

It's like walking through a hospital looking for girls in a coma to have sex with because they are there, they are vulnerable, you're lonely, so why not.

The huge giveaway is you want to talk to them on telegram or discord since there no one will be able to see what you write, or what photos you send or what really want from them.

That's sad to hear Retro, I didn't catch the interaction myself and so don't know what they based their claim upon but that's a mean thing to say on a suicide forum. They should've been a little more considerate.

I'm right here. Thanks. Go ahead talk to him on discord, I hope you do since you feel so badly for him.

I base my claim on experience with this type of guy on this site, he doesn't even bother to spend time here before getting down to business. One other one like this openly explained to me he intended to have some fun here with girls.

Tbf I've added a few peeps on other platforms (both M and F) cause PMs here are barely functional and I generally prefer voice calls over texting. But you're right it is a yellow flag

Also I remember you from back in the day so hey!

 

[lwlaiet8887]

Now you're back tracking and trying to cover it up by saying "What if". I already explained to you why you prejudice is wrong. You don't know me and you're not the kind of person I'd waste my time speaking to if I wanted to make friends. 99% of the users in this thread think you're wrong and I think that says enough.

 

[Meditation guide]

i totally understand how it may come off weird, but also being in the shoes of someone who struggles romantically, or struggles getting friendships, perhaps they just thought having friends who struggle with a similar thing may be better for them, especially since many typical people would shy away at the idea of being suicidal.

if they were being genuinely disturbing and weird, getting in peoples personal space i'd see the issue but i really don't see it.

I see what you mean but... there have been a few really bad guys hanging around here for fun and games who were very deceptive and did a lot of harm to girls.

Now you're back tracking and trying to cover it up by saying "What if". I already explained to you why you prejudice is wrong. You don't know me and you're not the kind of person I'd waste my time speaking to if I wanted to make friends. 99% of the users in this thread think you're wrong and I think that says enough.

Are you talking to me? Better not be.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

I see what you mean but... there have been a few really bad guys hanging around here for fun and games who were very deceptive and did a lot of harm to girls.

Are you talking to me? Better not be.

Yes I am please cry about it. You have no justification for your views except you're own bias and prejudice. This site is blatantly more than just CTB methods or suicide discussion, what a way to be purposefully ignorant and moronic to suite your agenda. If you really cared and weren't on a misandrist tirade you would just direct him to the recovery or off topic section.

 

[Meditation guide]

I don't care. You think it's okay to accuse someone of being a sexual predator because they're a misandrist and extremely prejudice? It makes me happy when ignorant horrible people suffer and I don't feel ashamed of it. If the guy really wanted to manipulate people why even make a post like this? He could easily just stay on here and DM people indiscriminately. Harsh words for harsh people.

I'm neither ignorant or horrible. It sounds like projection on your part. I wouldn't call anyone that. He's possibly just an innocent guy but as someone said he's made some negative comments about women elsewhere. Are you an incel?

 

[Jan1193]

I don't care. You think it's okay to accuse someone of being a sexual predator because they're a misandrist and extremely prejudice? It makes me happy when ignorant horrible people suffer and I don't feel ashamed of it. If the guy really wanted to manipulate people why even make a post like this? He could easily just stay on here and DM people indiscriminately. Harsh words for harsh people.

Wtf is wrong with you? Even with your intention or defend him, you only look worst. Just end with this

 

[IfyouareamanWinston]

I think this comes down to a fundamental difference in opinion. lwlaiet8887, you are being a little bit harsh. I understand that what was said seems baseless and anti male but I think some people may have traumatic experiences. Trying to force them to admit that they are biased in a public forum is not helpful.

Meditation guide: I'm really sorry that you are being lambasted in this thread. I understand you feel like the message you received might have had bad intentions. Its ok to block the offending parties! At the same time I don't think its right to accuse people of predatory behavior without solid evidence. Please block them!


Lets just end this argument here as its clear neither of you can get through to the other and lwlaiet8887 you are saying some very out of pocket things and now making assumptions.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

I'm neither ignorant or horrible. It sounds like projection on your part. I wouldn't call anyone that. He's possibly just an innocent guy but as someone said he's made some negative comments about women elsewhere. Are you an incel?

Way to misdirect the conversation by questioning if I'm an incel? Whatever relevance that has to the discussion. By your logic I'd assume you're an incel too. Guy looks for friends on a forum about suicide rehabilitation and you make him out to be a sexual predator because people have manipulated others in the past and therefore he must to be looking to manipulate people despite tons of proof otherwise. You're both ignorant and horrible for making out an innocent guy to be a sexual predator. I don't see why you think being an "incel" has anything to do with this discussion, maybe because you have the same logic as a terminally online twitter person please do explain.

 

[ipmanwc0]

@Mods maybe you should lock this thread

 

[Innereye]

I think my brains detaching from my spine reading this

 

[IfyouareamanWinston]

@Mods maybe you should lock this thread

100% agreement

 

[avaruus]

He's possibly just an innocent guy but as someone said he's made some negative comments about women elsewhere. Are you an incel?

Yeah, he did have pretty faulty opinion about women only going for the looks, which was wrong. But then again he clearly was bitter about not having a girlfriend, and did clarify that he does not hate women.
A couple days ago there was a thread from a woman which was about hating living life as a woman, and the thread was full of women complaining about how they find it uncomfortable to be around men because they are "always up to something". As a man, that didn't feel good to hear, but i DO understand where women are coming from when they say things like that. Its okay to be bitter, women are allowed to feel upset about men harrassing them in the past, just like men are allowed to feel upset about not having able to attract women.

I hope mods lock this thread.

 

[lwlaiet8887]

Wtf is wrong with you? Even with your intention or defend him, you only look worst. Just end with this

Disagree. I don't think there's anything wrong with insulting a sexist person, I myself am not remotely sexist.

 

[Dot]

Mght nd sme1 2 transl8 ths

There are some wild malicious accusations going around that I am using the site to try to pick up girls.

This is completely false.

I just am lonley because I have no friends or gf in real life which is the reason I want to ctb in the first place, and looking for people to chat with on Discord or Telegram.

And I want to leave this website today as it scares and depresses me which is why I sent many messages to users so before I leave here I could find many friends.

Just remember next time before you accuse someone of horrible stuff how it might impact him.

I am done with this website as I don't feel welcomed here anymore.
This is my last thread ever on here.
I wish you all the best.
Goodbye forever.

Wantng frnds = cmpletly undrstandble & am srry fr ur lonelnss

Howevr sendng multple d.ms t/ membrs wll mke mny ppl nervs -- thre = alwys possblty tht sme1 = pred8try or a pro-lfe persn tryn2 dxx ppl or also scammrs - s/ mny ppl wll nt trst unsolictd d.ms

If u wn2 mke frnds thre = alwys optn of makng specifc threds s/ tht ppl cn cme 2 u -- or tlk 2 ppl in threds fr whle b4 sendng thm d.ms - ppl r genrlly mre comfrtble wth tht

If howevr a plce lke SaSu = diffclt fr ur mentl hlth bcse of c-ing ppl ctb thn @Foreverix gve sme gd suggstns or thre r also frums lke suicideforum.com tht r mre recovry basd

You aren't the first guy to mistake this for a dating site and you won't be the last even if you call it "friends".

It's like walking through a hospital looking for girls in a coma to have sex with because they are there, they are vulnerable, you're lonely, so why not.

The huge giveaway is you want to talk to them on telegram or discord since there no one will be able to see what you write, or what photos you send or what really want from them.

That's sad to hear Retro, I didn't catch the interaction myself and so don't know what they based their claim upon but that's a mean thing to say on a suicide forum. They should've been a little more considerate.

I'm right here. Thanks. Go ahead talk to him on discord, I hope you do since you feel so badly for him.

I base my claim on experience with this type of guy on this site, he doesn't even bother to spend time here before getting down to business. One other one like this openly explained to me he intended to have some fun here with girls.

As u knw slf am awre of th/ pred8try b-havr tht u xperncd & tht ws also mstly takng plce in d.ms

Thre hs defntly bn pred8try b-havr on th/ ste fr whch membrs hve bn bannd & = undrstandble 2 b wary of tht happnng agn

Slf undrstnd pointng out b-havrl red-flgs lke askng ppl 2 tlk off-ste & warnng usrs 2 b creful etc bt wld ask 2 nt mke specifc accusatns of sexl predatn 2wrds membrs w/o evidnce -- & thse shld also b dscussd wth mods

So what can I do if I'm new!? Am I not allowed to have opinions? Did I hurt you or anyone else?

And I'm not trying to pull anyone from anywhere.

Thy wre jst hgh-lightng a pattrn tht nfarious membrs oftn us whch = joinng & thn immedi8tly targtng ppl in d.ms -- ths = Y sme ppl hve reactd respondd 2 recnt d.ms in th/ wy tht thy hve

 

[watereyes]

---- This here is @Dot 's post, translated for better readability ----

There are some wild malicious accusations going around that I am using the site to try to pick up girls.

This is completely false.

I just am lonley because I have no friends or gf in real life which is the reason I want to ctb in the first place, and looking for people to chat with on Discord or Telegram.

And I want to leave this website today as it scares and depresses me which is why I sent many messages to users so before I leave here I could find many friends.

Just remember next time before you accuse someone of horrible stuff how it might impact him.

I am done with this website as I don't feel welcomed here anymore.
This is my last thread ever on here.
I wish you all the best.
Goodbye forever.

Wanting friends is completely understandable, and i am sorry for your loneliness.

However sending multiple DMs to members will only make many people nervous. There's always a possibilty that someone is a predator or a pro-life person trying to doxx people or a scammer, so many people will not trust unsolicited DMs.

If you want to make friends there is always the option of making specific threads so that people can come to you - or to talk to people in threads for a while before sending them DMs. People are generally more comfortable with that.

If however a place like SaSu is difficult for your mental health because of seeing people ctb then @Foreverix gave some good suggestions or there are also forums like suicideforum.com that are more recovery based.

You aren't the first guy to mistake this for a dating site and you won't be the last even if you call it "friends".

It's like walking through a hospital looking for girls in a coma to have sex with because they are there, they are vulnerable, you're lonely, so why not.

The huge giveaway is you want to talk to them on telegram or discord since there no one will be able to see what you write, or what photos you send or what really want from them.

That's sad to hear Retro, I didn't catch the interaction myself and so don't know what they based their claim upon but that's a mean thing to say on a suicide forum. They should've been a little more considerate.

I'm right here. Thanks. Go ahead talk to him on discord, I hope you do since you feel so badly for him.

I base my claim on experience with this type of guy on this site, he doesn't even bother to spend time here before getting down to business. One other one like this openly explained to me he intended to have some fun here with girls.

As you know I am aware of the predatory behaviour that you experienced and that was also mostly taking place in DMs.

There has definitely been predatory behaviour on the site for which members have been banned, and it's understandable to be wary of that happening again.

I understand pointing out behavioral red-flags like asking people to talk off site and warning users to be careful etc. But i would ask to not make specific accusations of someone being a sexual predator towards members without evidence. These should also be discussed with mods.

So what can I do if I'm new!? Am I not allowed to have opinions? Did I hurt you or anyone else?

And I'm not trying to pull anyone from anywhere.

They were just highlighting a pattern that nefarious memebers often use, which is joining and then immediately targeting people in DMs. This is why some people have reacted in response to recent DMs in the way that they have.