Venting i am not good enough for anyone

[TheQ22]

If you're real and sincere then you have my deepest sympathies to be going through this, but if he calls you a "stalker bitch whore" - which sounds a bit outlandish, and you feel like you want to ctb because of him, I think it's very odd that you also "find it funny" that he thought you'd cheat.

Usually people who are frightened of their partner cheating try to keep them closer, not push them away by calling them stalkers, that implies that you've already broken up and he wants nothing to do with you.

Conversely people who have genuinely suffered abuse - like me - don't "find it funny" or see a lighter side to abuse.

" he tried to cheat on me twice. i only found out because the girls he tried to make advances on told me (they weren't interested in him LOL) " - you don't sound upset or ctb-y, you sound quite - well, vindictive really.

So I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but I'm just not buying what you're selling at all.


***
Just calling it how I see it Good Person Effed - and I'm usually pretty much on the money.

The manipulation strong it is in this one.
***
"i have to leave him alone, but it irks me every night that i will never be good enough for j. he is average looking and overall, just mediocre.
my friends tell me that i am way better than him but it might be biased because, well, they are my friends haha
"
Read and think.
***
haha

Hahahahaha

Bwwwaaahaahahahahahahahahaaaaa!

 

[Infinite Conscious]

Are you depressed in general (prior to the break-up)?
I would say that you probably were, because your self-esteem is low and some of your actions indicate a level of masochism.
You seem to enjoy when your "mediocre" x-boyfriend puts you down... how else to understand tolerating multiple insults from a person who should care about you?

If someone calls you a "stalker whore bitch", from that moment on he should be dead for you.
There is no way he will change his mind, and quite frankly you shouldn't even want him to.
No matter how difficult it may seem right now, this guy deserves nothing more than to be a distant memory in your life.

As for flirting with a male friend of yours, know that if you do end up in any form of an emotional relationship - you will lose him as a friend.
I believe having a true friend is more valuable than a short-term relationship (or even a long-term one, as ALL relationships are from the very start destined to crash and fail). This is not a pessimistic view, it's just realistic. Almost all relationships, even the ones that end up in a marriage, eventually fail. It's just a matter of time.

Don't give in to thinking that you must find a boyfriend fast... you will, of course, but it should happen spontaneously, at its own time.
When the right guy comes, you will know.

And as for the mediocre one who insulted you, he doesn't deserve you even talking to him on social media, let alone in person.
Whenever you get a chance, let him know he'll never amount to more than - mediocrity.
That will be more effective than any "name calling", if you do seek a "revenge".

 

[TheQ22]

Are you depressed in general (prior to the break-up)?
I would say that you probably were, because your self-esteem is low and some of your actions indicate a level of masochism.
You seem to enjoy when your "mediocre" x-boyfriend puts you down... how else to understand tolerating multiple insults from a person who should care about you?

If someone calls you a "stalker whore bitch", from that moment on he should be dead for you.
There is no way he will change his mind, and quite frankly you shouldn't even him to.
No matter how difficult it may seem right now, this guy deserves nothing more than to be a distant memory in your life.

As for flirting with a male friend of yours, know that if you do end up in any form of an emotional relationship - you will lose him as a friend.
I believe having a true friend is more valuable than a short-term relationship (or even a long-term one, as ALL relationships are from the very start destined to crash and fail). This is not a pessimistic view, it's just realistic. Almost all relationships, even the ones that end up in a marriage, eventually fail. It's just a matter of time.

Don't give in to thinking that you must find a boyfriend fast... you will, of course, but it should happen spontaneously, at its own time.
When the right guy comes, you will know.

And as for the mediocre one who insulted you, he doesn't deserve you even talking to him on social media, let alone in person.
Whenever you get a chance, let him know he'll never amount to more than - mediocrity.
That will be more effective than any "name calling", if you do seek a "revenge".

How do you know he's mediocre, or that he did or said those things? What a horrible thing to say someone is mediocre and essentially "not as good as me".

You're just getting sucked into the trap my friend. I really thought you were a lot smarter than that.

And who the hell in real life calls someone a "stalker whore bitch" unless a) they are as completley mad as a sack full of spanners, or b) she IS stalking him, and trying to paint victimhood when he gets pissed off she won't leave him alone.

Sorry, it's all too reminisicent of my crazy ex wife and her shennanigans.

 

[flatearth]

Are you depressed in general (prior to the break-up)?

And as for the mediocre one who insulted you, he doesn't deserve you even talking to him on social media, let alone in person.
Whenever you get a chance, let him know he'll never amount to more than - mediocrity.
That will be more effective than any "name calling", if you do seek a "revenge".

i was depressed during and after the relationship. i cried myself to sleep for weeks

and i will let him know. thank you for your advice!

How do you know he's mediocre, or that he did or said those things? What a horrible thing to say someone is mediocre and essentially "not as good as me".

You're just getting sucked into the trap my friend. I really thought you were a lot smarter than that.

And who the hell in real life calls someone a "stalker whore bitch" unless a) they are as completley mad as a sack full of spanners, or b) she IS stalking him, and trying to paint victimhood when he gets pissed off she won't leave him alone.

Sorry, it's all too reminisicent of my crazy ex wife and her shennanigans.

he's mediocre to me because i've been with other attractive and funnier guys, i guess i'm not saying "not as good as me" i'm saying "not as good as them"
i know he said those things because he's texted them to me. all he's ever done to me in person is mutter "f*ggot" under his breath to me
i've never done anything insane imo like call his mom or show up to his house, just the occasional text every 3-4 months over the course of a year
what do you mean trap?

If you're real and sincere then you have my deepest sympathies to be going through this, but if he calls you a "stalker bitch whore" - which sounds a bit outlandish, and you feel like you want to ctb because of him, I think it's very odd that you also "find it funny" that he thought you'd cheat.

Usually people who are frightened of their partner cheating try to keep them closer, not push them away by calling them stalkers, that implies that you've already broken up and he wants nothing to do with you.

Conversely people who have genuinely suffered abuse - like me - don't "find it funny" or see a lighter side to abuse.

" he tried to cheat on me twice. i only found out because the girls he tried to make advances on told me (they weren't interested in him LOL) " - you don't sound upset or ctb-y, you sound quite - well, vindictive really.

So I'm sorry if I'm wrong, but I'm just not buying what you're selling at all.


***
Just calling it how I see it Good Person Effed - and I'm usually pretty much on the money.

The manipulation strong it is in this one.
***
"i have to leave him alone, but it irks me every night that i will never be good enough for j. he is average looking and overall, just mediocre.
my friends tell me that i am way better than him but it might be biased because, well, they are my friends haha
"
Read and think.

i am a sensitive person, when i first started writing this i did want to ctb, which is why i started this thread in the suicide discussion tab instead of the other ones
but as i got into writing i realized how silly this situation was and i got help from others, i started using haha and lol

and i find it funny that he thought i would cheat because i never did anything to imply that i would and always gave him my passwords, etc. and its quite hypocritical when he tried to cheat twice, does that make sense?

 

[Infinite Conscious]

How do you know he's mediocre, or that he did or said those things? What a horrible thing to say someone is mediocre and essentially "not as good as me".

You're just getting sucked into the trap my friend. I really thought you were a lot smarter than that.

And who the hell in real life calls someone a "stalker whore bitch" unless a) they are as completley mad as a sack full of spanners, or b) she IS stalking him, and trying to paint victimhood when he gets pissed off she won't leave him alone.

Sorry, it's all too reminisicent of my crazy ex wife and her shennanigans.

Are you talking to me?
You thought I was "a lot smarter"? Do you even know who I am? I am not the author of the thread.

I mentioned "mediocrity" because it's a term used by the OP.
And frankly it IS a more effective way to put someone down than any direct insults... because insults are impulsive and emotionally driven, while being "mediocre" is just a "down to earth" brutal humiliation.

It is normal for us here to take the side of our fellow OP, even if she did "stalk" the guy... the mediocre one.
I did advise the girl to forget him, to treat him as a distant bad memory, and let him know he's "mediocre" if she gets the opportunity.
Mediocrity will hurt... even more than "stalker whore bitch".
We cheer for her. So should you. It's us vs them.

 

[TheQ22]

Are you talking to me?
You thought I was "a lot smarter"? Do you even know who I am? I am not the author of the thread.

I mentioned "mediocrity" because it's a term used by the OP.
And frankly it IS a more effective way to put someone down than any direct insults... because insults are impulsive and emotionally driven, while being "mediocre" is just a "down to earth" brutal humiliation.

It is normal for us here to take the side of our fellow OP, even if she did "stalk" the guy... the mediocre one.
I did advise the girl to forget him, to treat him as a distant bad memory, and let him know he's "mediocre" if she gets the opportunity.
Mediocrity will hurt... even more than "stalker whore bitch".
We cheer for her. So should you. It's us vs them.

I was suggesting that you were automatically adopting the view that the other party is mediocre as a given, which is kind of how propaganda works.

Once the idea is in your head that "person A tells the truth, so person B is the enemy" then rational considerations go out the window.

I was suggesting that a person who is fragile and delicate might not find it in themselves to call someone else "mediocre" and etc because it would be a mean thing to do.

Ergo, since I know from your previous posts that you have a significant brrain between your lug holes, that you might need to step back and think about what's going on here.

I may well be wrong, I did point that out immediately, but this just doesn't feel right to me.

 

[Panna]

i have to leave him alone, but it irks me every night that i will never be good enough for j. he is average looking and overall, just mediocre.
my friends tell me that i am way better than him but it might be biased because, well, they are my friends haha
at first, i thought the only solution to this was to ctb, but now i realize that i could also just move on
but i don't know how

From what I read you are more than good enough for this guy. Trying to change yourself, trying to make him happy, his response is to cuss you out and call you a stalker. I will never understand this kind of behavior it just doesn't make sense to me. What do you get out of a situation that involves you going out of your way just to put someone down who is trying their hardest to please you? Especially when there is some many people out there who would die for such a relationship and the solution to drive a person like you to this. I hope that from all the support you're getting in this thread that you can see who is in the wrong and who is in the right. It sure isn't you, and I hope you have a nice night.

 

[Meditation guide]

i have to leave him alone, but it irks me every night that i will never be good enough for j. he is average looking and overall, just mediocre.

Would you say to him the things he said to you? Or call him something like what he called you?

I could never love anyone who talked to someone that way. That is the definition of someone I would be happy was gone.

I know it's confusing and you don't see it that way when you possibly are used to not being treated right as a child.
Someone who was raised in a healthy home where they were loved and never treated bad would probably just be disgusted and know not to ever talk to him or think about him again because he most definitely is a creep.

 

[BipolarGuy]

i had a boyfriend for about five months last year (lets call him j) and i still think about him. this pains me so much because i really did everything i could to make him happy and it wasn't enough. i stopped being shy and showed him my true self and did everything he asked me to. and it still wasn't enough
after j and i broke up, i wanted to better myself for him. i didn't even want to get back together, i just wanted to be good enough for him; i expanded my music taste, the way i dress and look, and stopped being so loud and was able to carry conversations and even add to them! although they were really basic things, i was really proud of myself and i tried to talk to him. he didn't care and actually got really mad
we were absolutely terrible to each other after this and i remember every insult he told me. my "favorites" are: boring, unfunny, predictable, stupid, annoying, and obsessive and that he never loved me. today i got to add another word to the list: "stalker whore bitch"
i thought it'd be funny to text him about a concert we were supposed to go to a year ago. and he's right, it's disgusting that i would remember such a minuscule detail after a year.
i have to leave him alone, but it irks me every night that i will never be good enough for j. he is average looking and overall, just mediocre.
my friends tell me that i am way better than him but it might be biased because, well, they are my friends haha
at first, i thought the only solution to this was to ctb, but now i realize that i could also just move on
but i don't know how

A potential new addition to my 'holiday camp' list that I'm keeping tucked away for when I take power.

 

[TheQ22]

he's mediocre to me because i've been with other attractive and funnier guys,

Come on guys - "Honstley I'm not the narcissist or abuser, but God he's crap, I've had better..."

It makes me sick to hear someone talk about another person like that.

Maybe I'm just sensitive.

 

[Marchioness]

because he is right, only a "stalker bitch whore" would remember tiny, unimportant details like a concert date from a year ago.
i remember mostly everything about our five months together

You might have ocd thoughts like me, I tend to mull things over in my head long after they are past. Like everyone else has said he sounds toxic.

 

[Mm80]

Come on guys - "Honstley I'm not the narcissist or abuser, but God he's crap, I've had better..."

It makes me sick to hear someone talk about another person like that.

Maybe I'm just sensitive.

No i think you have a good point.
I offered support earlier but without assuming op was perfect and this guy was a piece of shit.
Of course what we have heard suggests this.
I do think a theres been a lot of blind support on this thread.
And there are contradictions as op is the victim but is having some digs at the ex in the words used.

 

[flatearth]

From what I read you are more than good enough for this guy. Trying to change yourself, trying to make him happy, his response is to cuss you out and call you a stalker. I will never understand this kind of behavior it just doesn't make sense to me. What do you get out of a situation that involves you going out of your way just to put someone down who is trying their hardest to please you? Especially when there is some many people out there who would die for such a relationship and the solution to drive a person like you to this. I hope that from all the support you're getting in this thread that you can see who is in the wrong and who is in the right. It sure isn't you, and I hope you have a nice night.

you have a good night as well

Would you say to him the things he said to you? Or call him something like what he called you?

I could never love anyone who talked to someone that way. That is the definition of someone I would be happy was gone.

I know it's confusing and you don't see it that way when you possibly are used to not being treated right as a child.
Someone who was raised in a healthy home where they were loved and never treated bad would probably just be disgusted and know not to ever talk to him or think about him again because he most definitely is a creep.

no i wouldn't, i didn't reply to his text after and don't expect to talk to him again

 

[greebo6]

i had a boyfriend for about five months last year (lets call him j) and i still think about him. this pains me so much because i really did everything i could to make him happy and it wasn't enough. i stopped being shy and showed him my true self and did everything he asked me to. and it still wasn't enough
after j and i broke up, i wanted to better myself for him. i didn't even want to get back together, i just wanted to be good enough for him; i expanded my music taste, the way i dress and look, and stopped being so loud and was able to carry conversations and even add to them! although they were really basic things, i was really proud of myself and i tried to talk to him. he didn't care and actually got really mad
we were absolutely terrible to each other after this and i remember every insult he told me. my "favorites" are: boring, unfunny, predictable, stupid, annoying, and obsessive and that he never loved me. today i got to add another word to the list: "stalker whore bitch"
i thought it'd be funny to text him about a concert we were supposed to go to a year ago. and he's right, it's disgusting that i would remember such a minuscule detail after a year.
i have to leave him alone, but it irks me every night that i will never be good enough for j. he is average looking and overall, just mediocre.
my friends tell me that i am way better than him but it might be biased because, well, they are my friends haha
at first, i thought the only solution to this was to ctb, but now i realize that i could also just move on
but i don't know how

You find love when you least expect it and are not trying to find it .
Its an old saying , but its very often very true.
You are more than good enough for anyone. Really ,you are . Never think otherwise .
So try to just relax and let it happen.

 

[flatearth]

You find love when you least expect it and are not trying to find it .
Its an old saying , but its very often very true.
You are more than good enough for anyone. Really ,you are . Never think otherwise .
So try to just relax and let it happen.

thank you :)
i will try your advice and focus on myself more