I am jealous of the people who had "the good life"

[Water-Lily]

What I define as "the god life" is a life with a loving and healthy family
A mother who loves her children unconditionally
She reminds them of her self worth
She doesn't curse, beat, or hurt them
She apologizes when she's wrong
A father who is there 100%
Who listens to his children and does't invalidate them
I wish I had good friends in my childhood
I wish I had adults who listened to my when I talked about abuse
But I had none of those things
I am so jealous of people with good families
They will never know the pains of child abuse and what that does to you
Even with how shitty life is, they can at least say "my family loves me
I couldn't even say my mom loved me
She actively told me to die
I get so jealous that, when a person tells me how goes their life is, I shut them out
Jealousy hangs over and I cannot be friends with them

 

[Symbiote]

I get jealous of people who have good families that love them and care for them. I get extremely angry when said people of good families mistreat their parents or take them for granted and abuse them or just being ungrateful little wretches. Parents of good families raise you to be good just like them and you had to go all Sith Overlord on them, then those Sith Overlords from good families have families of their own that mirror OPs.

Hard for the abused to create a new family when no one can see their potential because they are stuck on seeing your past.

 

[Water-Lily]

I get jealous of people who have good families that love them and care for them. I get extremely angry when said people of good families mistreat their parents or take them for granted and abuse them or just being ungrateful little wretches. Parents of good families raise you to be good just like them and you had to go all Sith Overlord on them, then those Sith Overlords from good families have families of their own that mirror OPs.

Hard for the abused to create a new family when no one can see their potential because they are stuck on seeing your past.

I feel the same. Children and people who disrespect their good and loving parents. I would kill just to have their parents and live because it is better than mine

 

[ZardozOmega]

Me too, to a pathologic level.

 

[woknows]

I am sorry that you feel this way. I feel like this sometimes too. But what really ticks me off are people who had it easy telling you how easy it is to arrange your life. Then you find out their parents have bought them a flat. I wish such people would leave their opinions to themselfs.

 

[Water-Lily]

I am sorry that you feel this way. I feel like this sometimes too. But what really ticks me off are people who had it easy telling you how easy it is to arrange your life. Then you find out their parents have bought them a flat. I wish such people would leave their opinions to themselfs.

oh yeah def. Like in that case they had it easy. But when you are abused it's not that simple

 

[thundercat]

I feel the same. I can't deal with hearing about how great people's families are and seeing it is even worse. I'm happy enough for them cause it's a good thing.. but I'm also jealous and I end up keeping my distance from them. I've been so desperate for love and a good family my whole life and just can't seem to get it, and these people are just born into it. Lucky.

 

[fent_dnm27]

Two of my closer friends have had great lives. They have their physical health, they have housing and food stability guaranteed by their wealthy parents even when they don't have jobs, and they grew up with parents who didn't physically and emotionally abuse them like mine did (I have severe C-PTSD from my upbringing). Fully funded education and living expenses in desirable foreign destinations, the works, etc.

I have some trouble relating to one of them when he complains about life. I just want to point out to him how insanely fortunate he is, but I always bite my tongue.

I don't really have that kind of burning anger or jealousy that you guys are describing. I wish I could explain to you how to free yourself of that, cause i think it's really a toxic sentiment to hold onto.

Maybe perspective is what it takes. I wish I had died a long time ago, but I still made it this far. I did get to experience a lot of things that most people in human history will never get to experience. And while I did grow up in relative poverty, I didn't grow up homeless or in a place with no infrastructure. The abuse I experienced growing up could've been a lot worse, but on the other side of that if it were any worse I probably would already be dead.

I'm also chronically ill, and while my case is pretty bad, there are many patients who are still worse off. Taking all this into account, I don't really bother to fret over other's life circumstances.

 

[Tired_Tired]

What happened already happened. You should learn how to prevent the bad things happened to you again and release your emotions. I think you are still young and soon or later you will have your own life(I remembered you posted you are A student and you didn't see you posted you are ugly or lesbians). If you are unluckily and married a cheater. You may have a similar question, like I am jealous other women have happy marriage and loyal husband. Why I cannot have normal marriage life. Like is unfair and unpredictable. To say is one thing, to do is another. It's really up to you. I also jealous the other people.

 

[yetme]

I once heard a statement that abusive parents have kids who grow up to be the most caring people in the world and vice versa.

 

[WornOutLife]

Well, I'm kinda jealous now even though I was happy when I was younger.
Anyway, I can relate to your feelings.

Hope things improve, hun. You're an amazing person and I just want you to be happy or happier at least.

 

[BandAddict]

Personally I feel very happy for people with good/stable families. Sure, I wish I could have experienced that. I wish that I had a better chance at growing up and maybe having more self-worth and shit. It makes it hard to relate to them, especially when they don't understand what they have, given they're not afflicted with mental/physical illness, I know that can change perspective.

Honestly it makes me cry. I get emotional when people talk about their parents (bonus if they're not divorced!), or I see them playing with their dad or whatever. It's so beautiful and so fucking sad that not everyone can have that. It's bizarre to know someone who hasn't been traumatized or exposed to some type of abuse.

 

[signifying nothing]

What I define as "the god life" is a life with a loving and healthy family
A mother who loves her children unconditionally
She reminds them of her self worth
She doesn't curse, beat, or hurt them
She apologizes when she's wrong
A father who is there 100%
Who listens to his children and does't invalidate them

All families will have to deal with disease, death and loss. What you're describing is an ideal that rarely if ever exists, rather it is something you are projecting onto people you know or see and making assumptions about them.

What you need to do is turn the spotlight on yourself and consider where these assumptions about what constitutes a 'good life' are coming from. Who is to say what constitutes a good life? By saying only they have it, it's like you invalidate all other ways of living and being, saying only that way works and everyone else (the vast majority) is having a bad life in some way, that they have failed. Do you see how wrong that sounds?

Also, who is to say too much love can't be as damaging as 'traditional' abuse, can't stifle a life just as much, can't create as many problems?

Ask yourself: Do you see a 'good life' in these terms because it gives you a reason to give up on yourself and your own life?

 

[Water-Lily]

All families will have to deal with disease, death and loss. What you're describing is an ideal that rarely if ever exists, rather it is something you are projecting onto people you know or see and making assumptions about them.

What you need to do is turn the spotlight on yourself and consider where these assumptions about what constitutes a 'good life' are coming from. Who is to say what constitutes a good life? By saying only they have it, it's like you invalidate all other ways of living and being, saying only that way works and everyone else (the vast majority) is having a bad life in some way, that they have failed. Do you see how wrong that sounds?

Also, who is to say too much love can't be as damaging as 'traditional' abuse, can't stifle a life just as much, can't create as many problems?

Ask yourself: Do you see a 'good life' in these terms because it gives you a reason to give up on yourself and your own life?

You caught me tongue tied. But to answer your question, the last one, yeah.

 

[decafcoffee]

Funny enough, I knew someone who was beautiful and popular and she lived with her abusive mother. I witnessed it firsthand. Yet, because my mother was nice to her, she invalidated me when I complained about her abuse toward me. I had other people throughout that invalidated me or made assumptions about my parents. I don't remember having more than like one person irl who didn't invalidate me about my abusive parents, including supposed professionals who should know better. You can't know what happens behind the curtain, but it's obvious enough when someone is truly traumatized from abuse surely!
I believe most parents in western culture are better than mine. I'm glad there isn't always such suffering.