Venting i am going to ctb in a month

[ineedtogetout]

so i suffer from multiple chronic health conditions: uars, which fucks my sleep in a way which causes me severe brain fog and fatigue, mold senstivity that causes severe brain fog, severe vision problems where i can barely see near sight and it also causes significant discomfort from trying to see, useless to say im not getting any help from doctors, so i left here 100% disabled all the time, and i suffer all the time because of this problems, yes i am depressed, yes i am suicidal, and my parents tell me to take psychiatric drugs and get psychiatric help and i explain them that it wont help me since ill keep being depressed because of my conditions which are untreated, neglected, nobody cares about me or cares about what happens with me, i am just left here to suffer endlessly, currently i dont have the money but next month im getting paid and ill buy fent and benzos and get my guarnteed death that will get me out of this hell, its unbelivable, unbelivable that i need to fight to get the minimal amount of attention from doctors for my vision loss which became disabling, that i was left to suffer from uars (which is a known medical illness for more then 30 years) yet had to fight with the little to no power that i have to get it diagnosed and then even after i got diagnosed i have to pay for my own treatment, being chronically ill is a death sentance since i need to rely on the evil medical system that does anything not to help me, i dont understand why my fucking parents dont understand that ssri's wont treat the medical neglct im expriencing, ive been in this hell for too long and its only getting worsier, so next month it will be the end for 100%

 

[FuneralCry]

That sounds so horrible what you have to go through, it's so terrible to me how there's all this cruelty and torture in existing with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, I hope you find peace, I wish you the best.

 

[ineedtogetout]

That sounds so horrible what you have to go through, it's so terrible to me how there's all this cruelty and torture in existing with no limit as to how much agony one can feel, I hope you find peace, I wish you the best.

i wish i could speedrun my ctb, instead ill have to wait a whole fucking month now until i can, litearlly to suffer cruely for a month

 

[lemonandcapers]

so i suffer from multiple chronic health conditions: uars, which fucks my sleep in a way which causes me severe brain fog and fatigue, mold senstivity that causes severe brain fog, severe vision problems where i can barely see near sight and it also causes significant discomfort from trying to see, useless to say im not getting any help from doctors, so i left here 100% disabled all the time, and i suffer all the time because of this problems, yes i am depressed, yes i am suicidal, and my parents tell me to take psychiatric drugs and get psychiatric help and i explain them that it wont help me since ill keep being depressed because of my conditions which are untreated, neglected, nobody cares about me or cares about what happens with me, i am just left here to suffer endlessly, currently i dont have the money but next month im getting paid and ill buy fent and benzos and get my guarnteed death that will get me out of this hell, its unbelivable, unbelivable that i need to fight to get the minimal amount of attention from doctors for my vision loss which became disabling, that i was left to suffer from uars (which is a known medical illness for more then 30 years) yet had to fight with the little to no power that i have to get it diagnosed and then even after i got diagnosed i have to pay for my own treatment, being chronically ill is a death sentance since i need to rely on the evil medical system that does anything not to help me, i dont understand why my fucking parents dont understand that ssri's wont treat the medical neglct im expriencing, ive been in this hell for too long and its only getting worsier, so next month it will be the end for 100%

It sounds like you are going through a lot both physically and mentally. Chronic illness is no joke, it sucks the life out of you. I may not deal with it to the degree that you are dealing with it, but I know enough to know very well how even the mildest of conditions can have a large impact. It is unfair that your parents are medically neglecting you when you clearly need help, and you have to deal with the bullshit that is the medical system. I hope you are able to find peace and an end to your suffering, however that looks like