I am doing college mostly for dating at this point

[noname223]

The thought of returning to college makes me acute suicidal. I don't have the nervous system to stomach that shit anymore. I am on holidays since 4 months doing nothing but trying to relax and my resting pulse rate still lies between 110-120. I am dying. (not really but maybe ctb)

I will never be able to work and I should start to accept it. My psychiatrist recommended that because I was honest with her about my plans to kill myself if I have to return to college.

I am currently dating this woman. I cannot tell her now that I will never be able to work. And dating apps already suck in an extreme way for man. If I say I am unemployed it is over. And in real life I tend to become paranoid when I meet women. This is my main reason to go on. And to calm my family.

I think about doing another hiatus semester. My anxiety is still skyhigh. I improved but not enough yet. I don't think it is rational to go back. Noone would do this torture on themselves (voluntarily).

One of the first question in dating is exactly that. If you lie you are fucked, if you tell the truth you are fucked. Well...

 

[Lucid.44]

Good luck man you are lucky to experience love or being wanted. Most people dont

 

[lamargue]

this is partly the reason why i want to go to university as well. i lack the work ethic, but i am resolved to try to form bonds with people in an environment which naturally facilitates that

or else i'll probably die a virgin

 

[Final_Choice]

I wish you good luck and success. I went to college expecting to have a chance at dating and love but hasn't worked out for me so far, but if you're already dating then there's a good chance it'll work out for you. If she really loves you then you should be able to sit down with her and explain your situation and hopefully she'll understand.