Venting i am a bad person

[shotgun]

i lie, i am cold toward my loved ones and whenever they leave i instantly view them as a bad person and talk badly about them. i am selfish and embarrassing to be around. i have no talents whatsoever. all i ever do is get jealous of people who are actually motivated. I'm a piece of shit. could i change stuff about me? yes. will I? no. I can barely get out of bed, changing myself is too far down the road. Even when I didn't do anything wrong I still saw myself as a bad person just because I exist. i get obsessed over people, stalk them, then proceed to get hurt even tho I know it's my fault for making them uncomfortable. I will be gone soon, hopefully. Although, until then, i know i will barely manage to feel anything besides numbness, guilt, and the occasional moments of happiness that are either brought by recklessness or seeing my friends.

 

[skaro]

It really isn't sounding like you're a bad person, you wouldn't be talking like this if you were a bad person. It sounds like you hit yourself against the rocks harder than most people did and I get it's irritating to see everyone else get away scuff free while you need to tend to your wounds, but remember that wounds can heal. Slow and steady wins the race right?
It sounds like you have a lack of energy just like me, have you ever tried treatment for that?

 

[MrShino]

I agree, I don't think you are a bad person. You just have certain problems that gets the best of you. Since you know this and would rather ite b different, it shows that you really are not doing this on purpose. It's quite normal to be somewhat jealous of people when you are unable to achieve the things you want and see them do it. It's just natural. When you really regret these things and want to change, it shows that these things are not the person you really are, or want to be.