I always feel like i’m being lied to

[ryders]

My partner could express to me that they are happy with me, they love me, and that they're attracted to me. But I just can't believe in that. There's always a moment in my day where I just doubt it. I try to ignore it and it works most days, but if I ignore it for too long then I just get like this: doubtful, sad, contemplating, insecure. I know this would upset them, feeling like they aren't being heard and believed in. I'm trying very hard to believe in them, and myself. But I just can't no matter how hard I try to get over these feelings. Because of this, I don't even think i'm the best person for them. I know there's better. If they chose someone else, then maybe they wouldn't have to deal with stupid emotions such as these and a pathetic partner that just cries and whines about it online to strangers. It's hard to speak up about it directly, especially when I think of something like "I don't feel loved enough" when i'm just insecure. It's really not fair to them

 

[dubstep_penguin]

Sounds like BPD, but definitely an anxious attachment style. I'm the same way. I need constant reassurance. It sucks being the token "needy mentally ill" friend.

 

[WeirdTheaterKid02]

My partner could express to me that they are happy with me, they love me, and that they're attracted to me. But I just can't believe in that. There's always a moment in my day where I just doubt it. I try to ignore it and it works most days, but if I ignore it for too long then I just get like this: doubtful, sad, contemplating, insecure. I know this would upset them, feeling like they aren't being heard and believed in. I'm trying very hard to believe in them, and myself. But I just can't no matter how hard I try to get over these feelings. Because of this, I don't even think i'm the best person for them. I know there's better. If they chose someone else, then maybe they wouldn't have to deal with stupid emotions such as these and a pathetic partner that just cries and whines about it online to strangers. It's hard to speak up about it directly, especially when I think of something like "I don't feel loved enough" when i'm just insecure. It's really not fair to them

.

My partner could express to me that they are happy with me, they love me, and that they're attracted to me. But I just can't believe in that. There's always a moment in my day where I just doubt it. I try to ignore it and it works most days, but if I ignore it for too long then I just get like this: doubtful, sad, contemplating, insecure. I know this would upset them, feeling like they aren't being heard and believed in. I'm trying very hard to believe in them, and myself. But I just can't no matter how hard I try to get over these feelings. Because of this, I don't even think i'm the best person for them. I know there's better. If they chose someone else, then maybe they wouldn't have to deal with stupid emotions such as these and a pathetic partner that just cries and whines about it online to strangers. It's hard to speak up about it directly, especially when I think of something like "I don't feel loved enough" when i'm just insecure. It's really not fair to them

I have CPTSD and often feel this way with my partner. But I think about how bored they'd be with someone else that isn't nearly as interesting or complicated. The truth is, the person you're with is a completely unique perspective to yours and so just as you feel like they're lying, they feel like they're being honest.
Partners should be challenging one another because that's where growth happens between eachother. It's invisible and you don't notice until years later, but you als have to keep making the choice to stay and love eachother and try hard for eachother.

Co dependence is not wrong if it's not insecure. People need people. But it's okay to feel mistrusting of someone else's opinion since you can really only trust your own. But you can choose to trust others until you have a real reason to suspect that's based in reality (the based in reality part comes from communicating your issues with your partner.) nobody is better off without you. They just have their own lives and you deserve to have your own too. But you being in others lives also brings them purpose because they can help support you when your down and congratulate you when you succeed.
Even if success isn't as often as you want, it still is possible to have small victories no matter how useless or stupid they feel.
I struggle feeling worthless and like nothing every day and honestly none of my advice has yet to change my perspective or daily struggle. But it does help me stay in reality when I'm really manic