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trying ungracefully

trying ungracefully

Member
Jun 11, 2025
99
I also self harmed for the first time in a while. The thing that stopped me from killing myself was just the fact that I can't do it and I have family. I guess that's a good-ish reason why I don't have access to something like a gun. It is just that I am so tired of going through life thinking I am okay until another issue hits. I know that's life but it is a big reason why I don't want to live. I am so unstable and can't handle things I've been crying for hours straight. My head hurts so bad.

Then my boyfriend said he is deciding something and he'll let me know in two days and I feel like he is going to break up with me because he won't tell me what it is just that he is deciding something. He does that a lot but this time could be for real. Our anniversary was on the 8th (I wish I could put an upside down smiley face here).

I just can't wait until my life is better. I am hoping and praying for that day to come because I can't handle this shit for any longer. I wish this was the Middle Ages ONLY for the fact that the average life expectancy was a lot lower.
 
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