I'm open with my suicidal ideation to my mom. She is Buddhist so she says I will inevitably reincarnate and end up back in samsara. I think, what a load of BS. I also met a spiritual guy who said this. Truthfully, I don't know the truth about all of this. I did have an outer body experience ONCE, but it was on shrooms, so I have no clue if it was the shrooms or my own consciousness. My parents dumped me in the mental hospital and basically ruined my life. I was forced on heavy medication. I've been on the heavy medication for 2 years and I am now functionally disabled. I rather die than live like this. Life is so brutal if you are a subordinate. I rather die than pave my own grave. I'm not even going to have anything good anyway, what's the point?
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