I have two friends left. Over the past 3 years, I've stepped away from social media. Only my IG page is up, and that's because I liked coming across drawing people did of past photos of me. I have pulled away from everyone, these two people have gone months without responses from and will still send random memes, and I hope you're doing okay, miss ya buddy etc. I'm a lot closer with one than the other. He's my best friend, and I wish wasn't dying from suicide because of our friendship. I wish it was some terminal sickness, so I could prepare him for my death like people do when they know they're gonna die. I wish I'd be able to tape a video saying goodbye and not feel guilt or shame just so he'd have something from me.