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noname223

Archangel
Aug 18, 2020
5,175
1 is horrible never ending torture without any break and 100 is perfect life no sorrows.

I think my life is a 10 so far. Currently it also fits the average level. So pretty pretty bad.

The abuse, bullying and especially the mental torment were insanely painful. The insane pressure, the self-hatred and the desperation torture me.

The best thing in my life were: the naive hope for a better life when I was a teenager. One manic episode which felt amazing. I have great friends probably the best gift in my whole life. I can enjoy hobbies which is seldom for people with depression. I love politics, following the news and playing video games. Materially I had a good life so far. But when the financial demise happens I probably gonna ctb. There would be more things to add. But I am pretty tired and exhausted.
 
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L

lionetta12

Just a random person
Aug 5, 2022
1,157
1 is horrible never ending torture without any break and 100 is perfect life no sorrows.

I think my life is a 10 so far. Currently it also fits the average level. So pretty pretty bad.

The abuse, bullying and especially the mental torment were insanely painful. The insane pressure, the self-hatred and the desperation torture me.

The best thing in my life were: the naive hope for a better life when I was a teenager. One manic episode which felt amazing. I have great friends probably the best gift in my whole life. I can enjoy hobbies which is seldom for people with depression. I love politics, following the news and playing video games. Materially I had a good life so far. But when the financial demise happens I probably gonna ctb. There would be more things to add. But I am pretty tired and exhausted.
I'm sorry that you feel that it's a 10 on this scale, but I understand how you feel and I hope that you know how interesting and enjoyable your posts always are to me. They make me feel something other than pain and depression since it engages me so much intellectually. I think my life is a 35 or 40 right now, mostly because I'm not suicidal at the moment, but I'm still experiencing depression and my PTSD flashbacks and nightmares, but not as badly as it usually is. A lot of my issues now are just being unsure about the future and what will happen, I like certainty and being able to feel reassured, which I don't have right now, but all I can do is wait and be patient until I get the answers that I seek that might make me be more calm and might make me feel happy at some point. I'm continuing to try and recover a last time so maybe that will improve the rating at some point too.
 
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S

Sleepdrifter

Student
Jun 22, 2020
151
About 30. Tbf things have been worse, I have some plans for later in the year to go back to school, there are things to be grateful for. But I am so bored and lost without work and my money is running out. I often think of how happy I was as a younger person and I can't comprehend what that would feel like
 
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vultureilse

vultureilse

ready to go, just waiting for the right time!
Dec 31, 2022
145
probably around 20. my childhood was traumatic and it permanently fucked me up as a person, im too depressed to do anything but rot in bed, i really hate myself, i have no friends and im unbearably lonely but my social ineptitude and attachment issues prevent me from forming any type of relationship, i have to deal with constant emotional flashbacks, my financial situation isnt the best and i cant afford things i enjoy, i have physical health problems because of my eating disorder and poor lifestyle choices caused by my bad mental state

at least im able to experience some amount of happiness because of my cat i love him very much. sometimes im able to enjoy my hobbies but that never lasts long so overall theres not much joy in my life
 
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Per Ardua Ad Astra

Per Ardua Ad Astra

Malpractice: NeuroDystrophy-Paralysis-Meds-Injured
Sep 27, 2022
3,640
1 - horrible never ending torture without any break šŸ„ŗ
 
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FuneralCry

FuneralCry

Just wanting some peace
Sep 24, 2020
38,275
My existence might not be as objectively torturous as many others in this world and of course it could get way way worse, in fact there is simply no limit as to how much torment one can experience as long as they stay here, but existing will always be torture to me. I don't believe life to have any beneficial qualities at all, to exist is a burden and a curse. But I couldn't rate it 1 as I'm able to sleep so I guess there's some kind of break even though I don't see sleep as being that much of a relief as long as the chance of waking is always there. I wouldn't want to rate my existence any higher than a 5 honestly. 5 is being too generous. I despise being in this world.
 
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Source Energy

Source Energy

I want to be where people areN'T...
Jan 23, 2023
705
40 in terms of living conditions. I am healthy, housed, employed, independent, resilient.

1 in terms of emotional quality of life - loneliness, rejection, bullying, despair, chronic sadness. Sprinkled with a few moments of enjoyment of this and that sometimes
 
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CuteThing

CuteThing

i order the same subway every time i go to subway
Mar 22, 2023
69
i think about 50-60, really satisfied with some stuff, but also feel horrible about some other things
 
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NeverEnding

NeverEnding

Member
Mar 11, 2023
17
30 atm. not as suicidal as I was a couple of days ago. I have 7 days worth of Zopiclone to help me sleep which means I wake up in a better frame of mind. But still have issues that bring me down daily
 
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kindalone

kindalone

Student
Mar 1, 2023
197
30. Things are fine. I still have a roof over my head and a will to live.
 
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the guilt i carry

the guilt i carry

endless pain
Mar 19, 2023
25
also about 10. several weeks ago it would have been like 30, but now it is progressively getting worse.
 
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Ultracheese

Ultracheese

Arcanist
Dec 1, 2022
490
It's probably around a 60. My illness makes it rough to function most days and I am going through a flareup. But I'm finally in a relationship with something I've loved afar for two years and he is an absolute sweetheart. He insists I take my medication which I resent a little but on the other hand it's helping a lot with my mental health. I can't work on things like my music and writing as much as I used to, but other than that and being bed bound, I don't think I have much to complain about.
 
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TimeHasCome6

TimeHasCome6

Member
Feb 26, 2023
62
Emotionaly - 4 because Iā€¦ just can't. My partner broke up with me for their ex and my depression is worse. As far as everybody knows: I'm completely fine. I was called racist because I was right about an issue regarding slaves in and before the civil war to settle an argument with one of my friends and their friend. And everybody who saw me for the past week that doesn't know me has been rude to me and I think there is some kind of nasty roomer going around right now because of it. My best freibd hit me in the nose - on accident - and I cried. I hate crying in front of people. It's worse than actual pain. Lofe just sucks right now.

Physically- 50 Because my ankle and knee are hurt but people expect me to do cardio on my bike and runs and I can't and I'm getting called a fat lazy pig. I've also stunned my toe and it led so not I can't wear socks because they make my toes bleed. But other than that I'm pretty healthy and my food choices have been yummy but healthy.

Socially- 40. Good with friends but there are rumors going around I think and ofc the thing with me being called racist and I just don't want to deal with people rn.

So I guess overall it's about 31.
 
static

static

New Member
Mar 2, 2023
4
1 is horrible never ending torture without any break and 100 is perfect life no sorrows.

I think my life is a 10 so far. Currently it also fits the average level. So pretty pretty bad.

The abuse, bullying and especially the mental torment were insanely painful. The insane pressure, the self-hatred and the desperation torture me.

The best thing in my life were: the naive hope for a better life when I was a teenager. One manic episode which felt amazing. I have great friends probably the best gift in my whole life. I can enjoy hobbies which is seldom for people with depression. I love politics, following the news and playing video games. Materially I had a good life so far. But when the financial demise happens I probably gonna ctb. There would be more things to add. But I am pretty tired and exhausted.
probably a 15 and dropping, i have no friends, get made fun of, and im not particularly good at anything, im supposed to be in "the best ages of my life" but ive never hated it more
 
H

H.O.Xan

Experienced
Feb 1, 2023
278
- āˆž, mayb a 2/10 on a good day, 1 point for this website
 
Wrxngg

Wrxngg

Member
Mar 25, 2023
21
25 feel like the day is coming pretty soon. My care and concern for living is next to nothing.
 
E

EndlessNight

Member
Mar 21, 2023
20
15
I have no qualities, but I have a good house, food and internet.
 
Toji

Toji

waste away with me
Mar 24, 2023
113
probably around 20. my childhood was traumatic and it permanently fucked me up as a person, im too depressed to do anything but rot in bed, i really hate myself, i have no friends and im unbearably lonely but my social ineptitude and attachment issues prevent me from forming any type of relationship, i have to deal with constant emotional flashbacks, my financial situation isnt the best and i cant afford things i enjoy, i have physical health problems because of my eating disorder and poor lifestyle choices caused by my bad mental state

at least im able to experience some amount of happiness because of my cat i love him very much. sometimes im able to enjoy my hobbies but that never lasts long so overall theres not much joy in my life
i'm pretty much the same ^^
 
NoLoveNoHope

NoLoveNoHope

Mage
Mar 25, 2023
564
13.

I don't know why it's 13 specifically but I know it's 13.
 
eatantz

eatantz

I luv dolls
Nov 4, 2023
559
39- My desperation for love is becoming overwhelming but school is good. I've also found some really great animes/books and I've been able to sleep in the day which is good
 
sancta-simplicitas

sancta-simplicitas

Arcanist
Dec 14, 2023
456
20. I have a roof over my head, the ability to lock myself in, warmth, the means to feed myself and my very cute and snuggly cat, access to nature and a few close friends.

I've also lost most of my friends, been traumatized after paying an abusive therapist most of my money, I'm constantly in some kind of physical pain (usually neuropathic) and no doctor will ever take it seriously so I can't get rid of it, I'm fatigued out of my skull, have damaged cognitive abilities, am considered among the poorest in my country without having means to change that and I live with iatrogenic agoraphobia, CPTSD from an abusive childhood, later domestic abuse and medical abuse.
 
L

Leiden

Arcanist
Sep 1, 2020
431
1 because I can't handle any waking moment, what so ever. I live such a horrible existence that even one is too generous. All I do is suffer every moment I'm alive and waking up is absolutely terrifying. I just want out. I cant bare anymore.
 
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ijustwishtodie

ijustwishtodie

death will be my ultimate bliss
Oct 29, 2023
4,826
I can't really call give my rank for my existence as a 1 as there are other people who go through issues that are significantly worse than my issues. I'm able to sleep, walk, type, read etc. Other people don't even have that due to a physical disability or other health related issue. My life is significantly better for it to be rated one.

However, at the same time, I do believe that I suffer just enough to where anybody on this planet would be suicidal if they lived a life like mine and had a neurotype like mine. My life is absolutely horrible and nobody would enjoy living as me.

If @FuneralCry has gave her rating as a 5, I'll give my rating of my life as an 8 or 9. Existing is absolutely painful and boring for me but, in the end, FC's life is worse than mine. So, on average as well as right now, I'd give my life a rating of either 8 or 9 out of 100
 
Dr Iron Arc

Dr Iron Arc

Into the Unknown
Feb 10, 2020
20,973
69. šŸ˜

Unfortunately I'm Asian so anything less than 100 is a complete and absolute failure.
 
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