Leaving a note for family seems straightforward, just place it near your body. But what about someone I only know online? No one in my life knows about them, and I don't want them to. They know where I live, so even sending them a message feels risky.
Then there are friends in real life who live far away, should I write one general note for everyone, or create individual ones?
Would you use ai to help you write them? I really suck at writing, but it feels wrong.
My situation is a little different. My online friend, who's basically my only friend and lives far far away, doesn't know my address, but I do have their phone number. My family doesn't know about them, so I plan to send a scheduled message to my friend which will include one of my family relatives' numbers—in case they want to connect over my death. Same with the note to my family.
When I'm dead, I won't have any control over the world I left behind. However my loved ones want to mourn, whether it's together with my friend, is their right as the ones who were left behind. I want to give them that option considering the side of myself I've shown to my friend is unknown to my family. I feel it's their decision to learn more about me, because I'll be dead and whether I have any privacy/dignity won't matter. Privacy is an issue for the living to deal with.
I want to give the people close to me as much closure as possible to minimize the grief. It would be naive to say that the grief they will feel won't be that big of a deal. Losing a daughter, sister, cousin, friend, etc. to CTB is probably the worst things anyone could ever experience. That's why I want to write individual letters. My people, basically my direct family members, mean a lot to me and I want to mitigate suffering with what limited ability I have.
I want my notes to emphasize that my CTB is absolutely none of their faults and that I only ever thought the best of them. That I don't resent them or hold any negative feelings towards them. I'll include a shallow but definitive reason for my CTB—maybe a simple explanation that this is my choice and I simply thought too little of myself to continue living and that I felt this was the natural conclusion to my life. Going too deep into my feelings may just hurt them.
I will include passwords to important accounts such as my bank and emails, and contact information for my work. I could simply quit my job, but I have no solid date for my CTB and I don't want anyone to become suspicious of me by suddenly quitting my job. I want everything to be as normal as possible until the moment I CTB.
How I write my notes/letters is up to me, and using AI is my choice. If I feel I'm not equipped to express myself well enough, I think it's a valid option. I'm allowed to use whatever tools I need in order to be my honest self with my loved ones, for the last time ever. AI as a writing helper is okay. The only thing is I wanna handwrite the letter and use AI for
helping me write. I wouldn't let AI write it all for me because I still want my voice to be present in my communications, so that my family and friend can choose whether they want to keep the last pieces of my genuine self with them.
