How was your day?

[Hope:-)]

It's midnight where I'm at so humour me.I had a good day. It strengthed my resolve to ctb which is actually a good thing because for me things will definitely not get better, and in the case.of my degenerative eye condition they will get worse. Feel pretty damn good about the direction my life is going to take. Dealt with some unpleasant anger about how I've been treated by some people, (boo boo the self pity,) but that has been transitory. Not really done anything and not worked on my method,but overall a good day :-) How about you?

 

[Mia Wallace]

Hey hope. I too, am feeling more absolute that I will be ctb soon and it does bring me a sense of calm and happiness that I'm not used to experiencing. I am really sorry you're dealing with your eye condition. Is that your reason for ctb? Will you someday become blind?
As for my day, I worked out this morning, went grocery shopping and then bought presents for my best friends birthday that I'll be celebrating with her tomorrow. (She has no idea I'm this far gone, it's like I live separate lives to others)
As of now (6:30 where I'm at) about to watch bill burr at the red rocks on Netflix. He's funny af comedian, good distraction when mind is on loop.

 

[Kurt]

Hi Hope,
Kurt here a newbie. Glad you had a good day and felt some resolve with your decision and plan.

If I can ask, do you feel confident that you will have your method comfortably in place prior to your eyesight worsening and making things more difficult for you? And I'm sorry that is a reality for you.

 

[CemetryGates]

This was me after waking. Since getting on to prozac all I seem to do is sleep, I practically live in my bed. In a way it's good practice for death, won't be too much of a transition lol.
x

 

[I need peace]

Stressful, I didn't get my payment this month and can't find a reason, I fear going homeless or something like that, I'm in fear and I would ctb right now if I could, but I still have stuff to fix up, I can't afford to mess anymore of my life and the anxiety is fucking me up rn

 

[Hope:-)]

I'm ctbing mostly due to experiencely medical malpractice for 16 years. I can't possibly tell you how much it ruined my life. My sight loss is just the cherry on top.My condition also makes my eyes painful all the time which gets me very down.

But like I said, today was a good day. I may not have achieved anything but I was happy, and that's the main thing. Tomorrow is shaping up to be a good day too. I know eventually I have to have a very bad day when I ctb, but that's ok. I'm gaining more and more acceptance of that.x

 

[Theanswer]

Your day sounds like it was good AND helpful, @Hope:-) . Glad to hear it. Mine was pretty good. This last remaining time is going to be so long but I'm hanging in. Tossed out my remaining stuff. Had some good chats, including you, which immensely helped.

 

[locked*n*loaded]

Same as most other days for me, except the very few when I can muster up a little bit of energy and motivation to move my plans forward, which isn't often. Most of my days are a whole lot of nothing.

 

[hellispink]

I am on my lowest point. Closer to leave, I hope. It is exhausting.

 

[Hope:-)]

Hi guys. Sorry, can't sleep. Well, I'm not actually trying but...
I hate hearing about how much people here suffer. :-/ I too am a hop skip and a jump away from homelessness- I live in hostel style accomodation anyway. I have savings, but my father misappropriated my money when I was vulnerable so that's going to be fun to try to get back especially since we're not talking. Had some humbling conversations today and I'm just very happy in a way some people may find strange.

Cemetery Gates- I laughed at the not much of a transition part. It's kind of true for me too ;-)

 

[Guend]

There is said to be improvement before death. the highest peak of serenity and happiness. I also had a great day with fewer thoughts than usual. I prepared the letters for my loved ones, it was with some longtime friends.

 

[Latios]

it was ok....didnt really do much other than browse twitter and SS lol.

Had some pasta with a quick fresh cherry tomato sauce for dinner.

 

[FuneralCry]

My days are always pointless and tiring, and time always passes very slowly. It's just so awful how life even is a thing in the first place and I just wish that I didn't have to think about any of this at all. To exist means to suffer and only death will ever bring relief.

 

[emgrl]

This was me after waking. Since getting on to prozac all I seem to do is sleep, I practically live in my bed. In a way it's good practice for death, won't be too much of a transition lol.
x

I cannot sympathize with this enough… feels like I'm drowning.