How to write a CTB letter

[Dyingsoon]

Long story short - I am currently disabled and battling many chronic diseases which took away everything that once made me human. CTB is no longer an option but more of a must.

I have set up everything except my suicide letter which I have been postponing from months now. I just don't know how to start and what to write in it. I know it is a very personal choice what to add and what not and varies for most of us.

However, what would you include or have already included in your CTB letter? I would like to have some ideas to help me start off mine.

 

[hikikomorizombie]

my note's mainly just instructions on what i want for my corpse, but they typically cover:
• why
• what u were thinking & feeling in ur final days/weeks/months
• how long u wanted & knew u were going to kys
• if family's to blame/are @ fault in any way (unfortunately they'll prob still blame themselves regardless of what u say)
• what made u hate being alive so much that kys was ur only option & not even they/their love could save u
• what u want done w ur corpse
• any final messages/things u want to say to any of them

 

[FuneralCry]

If the point of the letter is to bring closure for those left behind and try and make them understand then I'd explain why I chose to cease existing on my own terms.

 

[Scythe]

I have a version that included all the reasons that I want to die in detail and how suicide is the best and only option for me to be happy and a few secrets that I never told anyone so they can know everything they need to know about me. However, that version is only given to a close friend, for my family I plan a short and to the point letter because I know they won't understand no matter how much I explain, so I won't waste my time writing a long letter. For most of my other friends, they already know my reasons I told them, they are all mentally ill to some degree so they understood. i simply plan to say goodbye to them before I die. Finally for the people that I know online who for whatever reason decides to come looking for me, I decided to change my profile picture and status to one that implies suicide but not outright say it.

 

[kotonearisato]

I have a generalized one, that covers the basics (what to do with me, to let my online friends know etc) and one that will be meant for close friends/family. The latter explains more personally what happened, what went wrong, why I hid it from them. There's really no right or wrong way to do it, I think.

I kind of tend to make them more as long diary entries, if that makes sense? Like not speaking directly to anyone in particular but getting my thoughts out in whatever way feels right. Maybe that might be an easier approach for you.

 

[nature]

Long story short - I am currently disabled and battling many chronic diseases which took away everything that once made me human. CTB is no longer an option but more of a must.

I have set up everything except my suicide letter which I have been postponing from months now. I just don't know how to start and what to write in it. I know it is a very personal choice what to add and what not and varies for most of us.

However, what would you include or have already included in your CTB letter? I would like to have some ideas to help me start off mine.

I couldn't bear to go into too much detail for this part but, mainly just the basics. Words to partial friends and family and the truth behind CTB and its trigger point as well as what i would like done to myself and possessions after death

The next part would purely be to the police, To assure it's not a result of anyone else, or where i obtained the items. I'd say anything i could to not incriminate anyone or cause an investigation to a large scale that the UK is renowned for. This would be so extensive that nothing would be necessary and everything would be explained

 

[xmissellax]

I wrote a pretty lengthy email which is in my drafts currently and I'm going to schedule it to be sent out a couple days after I attempt to CTB. Lots of precious words to family and partner, explanation of everything, a brief word on how the medical system failed me, some short notes to friends, info + access to some of my accounts, some funeral wishes like songs and a speech.

 

[Ambivalent1]

"I wrote your name on this bullet so youd be the last thing through my mind"

 

[Tommen Baratheon]

If I'm not mistaken: Uitweg (Dignified Dying) by Boudewijn Chabot writes about what to put in that letter.