Kokonoe
Worthless Doll
- Apr 20, 2023
- 170
it's so hard to actually ctb. i've failed a lot of attempts. lately my biggest issue is that i've been so depressed i'm unable to do absolutely anything, including things i desperately want to do like ctb or sh. i tell myself "i will do it tonight/tomorrow/(insert specific day here/ and so on and then when the time comes i just can't force myself to do anything. and i know if i did force myself to try i wouldn't have the strength and SI would win. i want to ctb so badly. every day i don't i just allow my life to get worse, and risk missing my chance to ctb, and suffer more. i want it all to be over asap. but no matter how bad i want it i can't get myself to really try it again.
