Help How to value yourself as a young male

[furribcage]

I think this is a really common issue for young men but in comparison to everyone I feel like nothing, especially in comparison to women. My girlfriend seems so many universes ahead of me in value and I always assume I am nothing. I have no achievements. I have nothing to my name. Though I dress well and have a good face I'm absurdly skinny which I feel undoes the former two immediately. This is a problem I've had my whole life and I think most young men (maybe) do?
also dont come in here with no redpill bullshit

 

[TheShadowQueen]

Ngl op you got me in the first half i definitely thought this was to be a redpill post

 

[furribcage]

Ngl op you got me in the first half i definitely thought this was to be a redpill post

hell naw lmao

 

[avalokitesvara]

Make your own values and standards and hold yourself to them. Do you really think body type determines someone's worth? Really really? I don't think so. So why are you letting nonsense messages from media and advertisers pressuring you to have a certain body type dominate your perception of yourself? Disengage from spaces where there's that kind of talk, disengage from social media which has a vested interest in keeping you anxious and hating yourself and comparing yourself to others. Connect to things you actually care about. You're young so maybe you don't know yet, that's cool, you have time to explore and find out what you really care about and what matters to you which isn't just your self-image. Make connections with others that aren't based on competition and comparison. Figure out what forces are making you think of people as objects of comparison, envy and competition. Hang out with different types of people, not just your gf and guys your age. Get some different perspectives. Think for yourself.

 

[furribcage]

Make your own values and standards and hold yourself to them. Do you really think body type determines someone's worth? Really really? I don't think so. So why are you letting nonsense messages from media and advertisers pressuring you to have a certain body type dominate your perception of yourself? Disengage from spaces where there's that kind of talk, disengage from social media which has a vested interest in keeping you anxious and hating yourself and comparing yourself to others. Connect to things you actually care about. You're young so maybe you don't know yet, that's cool, you have time to explore and find out what you really care about and what matters to you which isn't just your self-image. Make connections with others that aren't based on competition and comparison. Figure out what forces are making you think of people as objects of comparison, envy and competition. Hang out with different types of people, not just your gf and guys your age. Get some different perspectives. Think for yourself.

Thanks for the insight you're right I need to change my perspective and I really appreciate the frankness of your answer. I'll try and approach different people and broaden my scope because I think I need to challenge my perception of everything as competition as it isn't healthy or right. Thank you,,,

 

[Dr Iron Arc]

The fact that you even have a girlfriend already puts you leagues ahead of most other young males in terms of value, although I suppose that isn't the best way of looking at it and I don't mean to sound redpill-y about it either. You could view it as someone else sees your worth and that should be good enough for you to see your own worth but if it isn't then all that's left is to make your mark some other way. I agree with what was said earlier that you should go out and find out for yourself what else brings value to you.

 

[casual_existence]

You gotta find your own value. Or figure out why you care about value at all. The vast majority of our psychology is learned and we tend towards the direction it points us towards. The teachers can be society, friends, family even this forum, etc.
One of the most freeing actions one can take is choosing a direction and moving towards it in a random but directed manner. If you want more details let me know although figuring it out on your own is more fun.

 

[furribcage]

You gotta find your own value. Or figure out why you care about value at all. The vast majority of our psychology is learned and we tend towards the direction it points us towards. The teachers can be society, friends, family even this forum, etc.
One of the most freeing actions one can take is choosing a direction and moving towards it in a random but directed manner. If you want more details let me know although figuring it out on your own is more fun.

Thank you I really appreciate it. Ig its one of those things I gotta find out thru experience which is rly reassuring to hear but I wish I could just magically adjust to it lmao