How to trust therapist

[Young.Werther]

Any suggestions on how you develop trust? Some background: I previously had a therapist that I actually really liked. They ended up sectioning me even though I at no point mentioned a concrete plan or a method (I had neither).

The thing with therapy is that the power dynamics feel so unbalanced. I mean they have all the power and I have nothing. If they decide to section me there's nothing I can do. I've been avoiding therapy as a result. The thing is, I can't seem to find the courage to CTB so I'm just stuck in this terrible limbo where I'm in pain but can't make it stop. This brings me back to therapy.

For this to work, I obviously need to trust the therapist. Does anyone know how I can convince myself of this? I feel like talk is cheap (although actually therapy is quite expensive) so I want some way for them to prove themselves. Does anyone have any ideas/thoughts?

 

[LaVieEnRose]

Like you I was burnt by therapy pretty badly. I personally think the entire structure of therapy is anti-healing.

Can you jeep suicidal ideation to yourself? In my experience therapists are horrible people to bring that to and the fact that people in your personal life may not be good people to talk about your anguish doesn't automatically mean therapists are apt for that either.

I'd feel very hard-pressed to trust a therapist after what you went through. It seems almost laughable to ask that of you honestly.

Is there stuff you want to address besides suicidal ideation? Can you effectively address it without bringing up suicide?

 

[departindarkness]

I don't know dude. I've had ok experiences letting them know I want to die. But there are other things I keep to myself. No one knows about.

It's difficult. I don't know that talking about things would effectively help.

 

[Young.Werther]

Can you jeep suicidal ideation to yourself? In my experience therapists are horrible people to bring that to and the fact that people in your personal life may not be good people to talk about your anguish doesn't automatically mean therapists are apt for that either.

I don't know what the alternative is. I don't have any access to methods right now (I mean I guess I could try partial or something but that's not ideal) and in any case I can't seem to overcome SI. The other alternative is to just suffer and I think I've tried that longer than I want to.

Idk, perhaps you're right and I'm deluding myself with this therapy idea.

 

[Untimely]

I don't know what the alternative is. I don't have any access to methods right now (I mean I guess I could try partial or something but that's not ideal) and in any case I can't seem to overcome SI. The other alternative is to just suffer and I think I've tried that longer than I want to.

Idk, perhaps you're right and I'm deluding myself with this therapy idea.

Yeah, I also have a bit of trouble with talking to them as you can never be fully honest like you can on this site.

 

[penguinl0v3s]

For this to work, I obviously need to trust the therapist. Does anyone know how I can convince myself of this? I feel like talk is cheap (although actually therapy is quite expensive) so I want some way for them to prove themselves. Does anyone have any ideas/thoughts?

Test them. You can give an example scenario of a "friend" that has suicidal ideation and see how they would react to it. Ask what to do.

 

[LigottiSchopenhauer]

My advice, which I beg you to consider: Don't ever fully trust a therapist. If you even hint at them that you feel suicidal with an idea of how you might do it, there's a significant chance they will try to call the police, your employer, or your parents and tell them about it. I speak from personal experience: a therapist I trusted and respected betrayed me about a year ago by telling my mom about my suicidal thoughts even though I didn't say I was about to kill myself. If you do decide to pursue therapy, please be very careful about what you say to your therapist, or else you could end up further traumatized. You might think that your therapist wouldn't do such a thing, but I promise you: at the end of the day, these people are soldiers of the mental health care system, and they value their professional status more than they value your personal autonomy and dignity.

 

[Young.Werther]

Test them. You can give an example scenario of a "friend" that has suicidal ideation and see how they would react to it. Ask what to do.

This seems really transparent— I'm pretty sure they'd see through this instantly.

 

[Kit1]

I trusted the clinical psychologist I was working with since the latter part of 2022 - anyway that therapy ended as NHS CMHT stated that I have to be referred for a specialist trauma clinic with a 2 year wait - despite concerns about suicidal ideation. I only found out recently that the psychologist I was sessing specialises in CBT which any mental health provider would have been aware from the beginning would not have helped someone with Complex PTSD which is my diagnosis. And she xannot see me for the final 8 sessions unless I also engaged with my GP and SPA/crisis team due to suicidal ideation (this happened about a fortnight ago) - I turned down the sessions and my file has been closed.

I am now looking to employ an affordable therapist in another country and have online (but not face to face) therapy and will not be telling the therapist which country I am in and will use a VPN. That way, I stay safe at all times from some stupid system that works for itself opposed to caring for the care needs of the actual person/patient/client. I do have a date to end my life - if everything fails, I will go. Will not trust any mental health worker who knows my identity or any of my details in future.