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sorararara

sorararara

in need of a miracle
Feb 12, 2023
22
I'm so tired, I don't even know how long I've been awake. I have a headache and I feel so exhausted.
Whenever I try to go to sleep, all of the things that are making me suicidal end up flooding my mind and it becomes impossible to think about anything else. I tried to just push through the thoughts, but that doesn't work. It just makes me start crying, and everything hurts so much more.
I've tried taking sleep aids in the past, but it only made things worse :')
 
LilysAngel

LilysAngel

Experienced
Apr 30, 2024
260
I deal with this too. It literally takes me 5/6 hours to fall asleep, if I do fall asleep. Recently I haven't been. Taking copious amounts of trazadone SOMETIMES helps.
 
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Dark Window

Dark Window

Specialist
Mar 12, 2024
317
Tips -

If you can, exercise everyday, even if it's just walking. Get up and be physically active for just 30 mins, even if if it's just walking it makes a difference.

Try not to look at bright screens late at night, and also when you go to bed, list to some drone ambient music. Music that isn't challenging but there.

Also at some point maybe around 6-7pm write in a journal. Get everything out and processed, and maybe a plan as to what you're going to do, t give you a sense that stuff is moving forward in a direction and being dealt with.

This helps me.
 
astonishedturnip

astonishedturnip

Like Christine Chubbuck, but sadder
Jan 16, 2024
171
Melatonin gummies and imagining scenarios that will never happen. Usually me self inserting a romance with a fictional character I like.

If that fails I've found a method off Reddit that works for me, basically an alphabet counting game. There's lots of variations but it's basically trying to think of 3 examples per each letter of the alphabet, for instance I try to think of 3 girl names that start with A, then B, then C... You can do boy names, cities, fictional characters, colors, etc. I'm usually asleep before I hit O.

Also practice good asleep hygiene. Exercise during the day if possible, don't eat past a certain hour, no screens or at least use a blue light blocker (most devices come with the option built in or you can download f.lux), calm activities only right before bed, use light blocking shades or an eye mask, white noise machine or app, and try to only use your bed for sleep (e.g. no eating or watching TV as a habit in it) so your body will associate it with sleeping. A warm shower, meditation and reading or journaling right before bed can help.

Make it a habit to frankly ignore suicidal thoughts and tell yourself you can regroup in the morning. Then ignore them in the morning too. I know it sounds like a lot but habit forming and neuroplasticity is real. Night is a dangerous time where we're alone with our thoughts. I was able to kick the habit and others can too. Now I "just" think of CTB when I experience one of my 2861 triggers lol.
 
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