How to reliably get cancer?

[InTheAirTonight]

I want to get cancer or a terminal illness. I want the doctor to say something like "you have 5 months left". It would be a dream come true. Is there an easy way to do this?

 

[WhatIsMyLife]

I'm pretty sure you can't "catch" cancer. And I really don't think you want it. It seems like an awful way to go out.

 

[autumnal]

I want to get cancer or a terminal illness. I want the doctor to say something like "you have 5 months left". It would be a dream come true. Is there an easy way to do this?

No.

The likelihood of getting cancer can statistically be increased by doing certain things (see carcinogens). But these are all generally very gradual processes, and cancer is in no way guaranteed. And even if you did get cancer, it would be a long way down the track, presumably which wouldn't suit the typical timeframe for a suicide occurring soon in order to avoid the pain of living. It's a similar thing for most terminal illnesses.

Many people who are very much at the start of their suicide journey (or are very young in general) entertain such wishful notions. Unfortunately they soon learn that such blame-free methods are largely non-existent.

 

[IrRegularjoe]

I want to get cancer or a terminal illness. I want the doctor to say something like "you have 5 months left". It would be a dream come true. Is there an easy way to do this?

If my memories right your from Canada to. You want an assisted death.

 

[TheSkyIsBlue]

I doubt you can just catch cancer. But if you want to die by fucking up your body, you can just practise a really unhealthy lifestyle. Drink, smoke, eat fast food.

 

[IrRegularjoe]

I doubt you can just catch cancer. But if you want to die by fucking up your body, you can just practise a really unhealthy lifestyle. Drink, smoke, eat fast food.

Not true. I don't have cancer.

 

[watereyes]

Well, get into what's left of Chernobyl's core. But you don't want that. My mother died of cancer when I was a kid and it was horrible to watch. I remember that her hair started to fall off. And I also remember she got prescribed something called 'Tarceva' that made her puke so much that it damaged her tongue. It also made her skin go dry and red. From what I remember it was physically very painful for her. Don't try to get cancer. Wish you the best.

 

[SpottedPanda]

I doubt you can just catch cancer. But if you want to die by fucking up your body, you can just practise a really unhealthy lifestyle. Drink, smoke, eat fast food.

Before lockdown, I ate McDonald's every singe day for a full year. I smoke thirty or so a day, though I only drink occasionally. I feel fine

To add. Cancer is objectively bad, and no, it's not contagious, in the normal sense. An idea worth abandoning, I feel

 

[rhiino]

It would also be a dream come true for me. Nobody could be angry at me because of suicide and my survival instinct would be powerless. Unfortunately there is no way I know of to get an terminal illness guaranteed.

But if you want to die by fucking up your body, you can just practise a really unhealthy lifestyle. Drink, smoke, eat fast food.

Some people do that their whole life and still don't get cancer. It is never guaranteed.

I remember that her hair started to fall off. And I also remember she got prescribed something called 'Tarceva' that made her puke so much that it damaged her tongue. It also made her skin go dry and red.

Those things are side effects of the radiation of the chemotherapy and meds, that is not the cancer's fault.

 

[watereyes]

Those things are side effects of the radiation of the chemotherapy and meds, that is not the cancer's fault.

right, sorry. But anyway you're still most likely to get treatment, right?

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

I want to get cancer or a terminal illness. I want the doctor to say something like "you have 5 months left". It would be a dream come true. Is there an easy way to do this?

My dad died slowly from 10 types of cancer all at the same time few years ago. I dont think he would be willing to share even one with you or anyone. He didnt get peacefull death, no medically assisted suicide even if his condition was rapidly worsening within weeks.
I dont think you should wish for that. Cancer doesnt mean we get doctors to assist our death

 

[autumnal]

Not true. I don't have cancer.

That's not how science works though.

 

[StateOfMind]

 

[Taraxias]

For some people having cancer is even better then the todays situation they are going through including me. I would prefer to have cancer that in a month would kill me ,rather than that stupid illness i got that doesnt let me live but doesnt kill me also.l would exchange my illness for cancer or terminal illness to take me of my misery

 

[rhiino]

But anyway you're still most likely to get treatment, right?

Nobody forces you to have a physical illness treated, it is not like it is with mental illnesses, where you are said to be unable to make such choices. Some people die of cancer without any treatment, because they don't want to lengthen and increase the suffering.

 

[InTheAirTonight]

Please please please... Somebody help me get cancer. I want a tumor to spread throughout my body.

 

[GoBack]

Please please please... Somebody help me get cancer. I want a tumor to spread throughout my body.

Please stop. You could live for decades in pain with cancer. Just stop.

 

[AnxietyAttack44]

Please please please... Somebody help me get cancer. I want a tumor to spread throughout my body.

Ok. My dad got 10 cancers succesfully so ill share how he got them. There could be easier ways but i dont know those.
He overworked himself every day for 30 years, and suffered great amounts of physical and mental stress day after day with no break.

 

[Fedrea]

I want to get cancer or a terminal illness. I want the doctor to say something like "you have 5 months left". It would be a dream come true. Is there an easy way to do this?

A friend of mine got cancer in her early 30s and was dead within 10 weeks. I often think now why her and not me. But that's pointless. In your 20s-40s, bit of long shot hope. Regardless from what I understand it's not a nice death esp if it spreads around the abdomen.

 

[shipwreck]

I want to get cancer or a terminal illness. I want the doctor to say something like "you have 5 months left". It would be a dream come true. Is there an easy way to do this?

Developing cancer is a matter of chance. It generally takes decades of exposure to carcinogens for cancer to develop, if it does at all. For most victims, dying of cancer is a long process that involves a lot of suffering.

Edit: consider that some cancer victims choose to end their lives by more peaceful means before cancer takes them. That should tell you something.

 

[nitrogen]

To quickly catch cancer, get some radium-228 (more potent than radium-226) or uranium from the darknet, add them to tequila shots. The deaths won't be among the most peaceful though. Careful not to overdose, or you would decompose alive from acute radiation poisoning, cough out lung tissue fragments and so on.

Oh, and mix the radium drink at night, add in some zinc sulfide phosphor and copper powder, the drink will give off a beautiful green glow and you'll be the brightest star at a party. Don't forget the little umbrellas.



Edit: not giving serious advice, just fooling around. Cheers.

 

[SpottedPanda]

To quickly catch cancer, get some radium-228 (more potent than radium-226) or uranium from the darknet, add them to tequila shots. The deaths won't be among the most peaceful though. Careful to not overdose, or you would decompose alive from acute radiation poisoning, cough out lung tissue fragments, and so on.

That's not going to involve an FBI visit at all

 

[disabledandhopeless]

Sometimes I wish I have some cancer that will take me away within a few months or something Living with chronic illness is too long and painful.

 

[Giraffey]

To quickly catch cancer, get some radium-228 (more potent than radium-226) or uranium from the darknet, add them to tequila shots. The deaths won't be among the most peaceful though. Careful to not overdose, or you would decompose alive from acute radiation poisoning, cough out lung tissue fragments, and so on.

I love the idea that someone on the dark web has some radium or uranium isotope casually laying around in an old lead biscuit tin next to their hamster's cage...

 

[Jessica5]

I think the suicide by coronavirus that was appearing on this forum a few weeks ago was more realistic than this.

I mean, you can probably almost statistically guarantee you'll get coronavirus if you deliberately touch everything, go on subways, get as close to people as possible and don't use masks/gloves. The only problem is that it's not likely you'll die of coronavirus if you're under 65.

There really isn't a way to guarantee you'll get cancer.

 

[NorthernStar]

I think the suicide by coronavirus that was appearing on this forum a few weeks ago was more realistic than this.

I mean, you can probably almost statistically guarantee you'll get coronavirus if you deliberately touch everything, go on subways, get as close to people as possible and don't use masks/gloves. The only problem is that it's not likely you'll die of coronavirus if you're under 65.

There really isn't a way to guarantee you'll get cancer.

Can confirm this and I live a few blocks away from Penn Station and Port Authority. My father died of color cancer and it was two months of living hell plus the unknown time he had it prior. And they considered him lucky.

 

[SpottedPanda]

It stands to reason that if there was such a reliable way to get cancer, there'd be a surefire easy way to cure cancer. It's pie in the sky.

Also, I wouldn't wish cancer on my worst enemy, never mind idolise it as a pleasant way to die

 

[Elbarado]

I want to get cancer or a terminal illness. I want the doctor to say something like "you have 5 months left". It would be a dream come true. Is there an easy way to do this?

as someone who is terminal ill, i just want to slap your face... sorry

I feel your desperate situation and i feel sorry for you, cause you are suffering, but really... as long as you are physically healthy try to recover and fight.

And if you dont want to, than try praying for me and that some higher existence makes me healthy again in exchange for you and you can get my illness.
Then we are both happy again. Dear Lord, i really want my life back and want to live

 

[Taraxias]

I to really want my life back please.take away this uncurable illness and let me live again

 

[Hydration]

My mom died of cancer and my girlfriend's sister has cancer. Believe me, you don't want it. It's a slow, horrible way to die.