
symphony
surving hour-by-hour
- Mar 12, 2022
- 779
I don't intend to CTB for a bit yet, but ironing out the details of my plan helps me feel calm and in control.
I've been seriously thinking about (eventually) buying N, and of course then I'm thinking of how to make the plan fool-proof, how to make sure I don't fail.
It seems the only ways I could fail are if I don't manage to drink the full amount (which would be on me) or if I'm "saved" (which is harder to control). I'll live alone when I CTB so I don't have to worry about someone walking in on me or something but I'm paranoid that a loved one could get suspicious and call the police on me.
No matter what method I use, I intent to CTB in the evening or at night, late enough that I could have conceivably gone to sleep but early enough so I'd have plenty of time for it to work until I'd be expected to be responding to texts again in the morning. I could easily get at least 8 hours which should be enough for N, but what if it isn't? What if by mid-day the next day I'm still not dead and someone calls the cops because I've not been answering my phone? And what if they call the cops the night before because something about how I'm texting seems out of character?
I know this seems unlikely and I'm probably just being paranoid here, but I want to make sure I have all my bases covered.
I've been seriously thinking about (eventually) buying N, and of course then I'm thinking of how to make the plan fool-proof, how to make sure I don't fail.
It seems the only ways I could fail are if I don't manage to drink the full amount (which would be on me) or if I'm "saved" (which is harder to control). I'll live alone when I CTB so I don't have to worry about someone walking in on me or something but I'm paranoid that a loved one could get suspicious and call the police on me.
No matter what method I use, I intent to CTB in the evening or at night, late enough that I could have conceivably gone to sleep but early enough so I'd have plenty of time for it to work until I'd be expected to be responding to texts again in the morning. I could easily get at least 8 hours which should be enough for N, but what if it isn't? What if by mid-day the next day I'm still not dead and someone calls the cops because I've not been answering my phone? And what if they call the cops the night before because something about how I'm texting seems out of character?
I know this seems unlikely and I'm probably just being paranoid here, but I want to make sure I have all my bases covered.