Help how to overcome traumas?

[s0ft.bldd]

I've been struggling with this trauma of public restrooms, and I know it kinda sounds stupid, but I'm terrified of them

I used to get bullied some years ago inside my basketball team, they used to open the cubicle I was in so they would laugh at me while I was changing. Currently, I try to enter inside restrooms and think positively, but I can't help but to feel insecure, the minimum sound makes me want to puke

Someone does know how to calm down traumas? I know it's not going to disappear in a day but it would help a lot any tip

 

[illuposolitarioita]

passo dopo passo, inizia semplicemente avvicinandoti, poi quando ti senti pronto entra e rimani dentro per qualche minuto, giorno dopo giorno aumenta i minuti in cui rimani dentro e col passare del tempo :abbraccio:

 

[Ash]

I sympathise. I had traumatic changing room experiences too and still struggle to use public facilities depending on my mood. The usual advice with phobias is to start slowly. So just open the door and look in the main room. Then get used to standing in the main bit with the door open. Then shut. Then a bit further in. Then wash your hands. Then go into a cubicle. And so on and so on. If it gets too much, take it back a few steps. If you need comforting noises, listen to favourite music or podcasts. If you need to be alert, don't listen to anything but wear your most confidence-inducing clothes and shoes. And always do something special for a treat afterwards to reward yourself as yes, you are absolutely worth it. Or if money is tight, put some real cash in a savings box each time you do it and then get yourself something with that.

I've used this technique in the past and it really does work.

Xx

 

[Life_and_Death]

personally (most likely obviously for a different reason) i dont use public restrooms, or any that isnt mine for that matter.
when i first moved in with my exhus (later) he commented that he "thought i didnt use the bathroom" i just waited until he left for work. and when i was living with my bf for those 2 days, i waited until i went to work.
back in school? before and after.

personally i use mindfulness and exposure therapy (plus probably some other therapies, i dont really put names to everything just, "this feels good, its working, ect")
but bathrooms? nope, still refuse to. i completely get your reasoning i wouldnt like bathrooms either. but considering i dont want to use them for no other reason that im aware of past people can hear, i have no expectations for you either. (basically mines a really minor reason and im not doing anything about it and yours is a major reason. if im not going to do anything about it, it would be hypocritical to say "you should fix this" but i can tell you what i use for my other traumas )

 

[Linda]

I've been struggling with this trauma of public restrooms, and I know it kinda sounds stupid, but I'm terrified of them

I used to get bullied some years ago inside my basketball team, they used to open the cubicle I was in so they would laugh at me while I was changing. Currently, I try to enter inside restrooms and think positively, but I can't help but to feel insecure, the minimum sound makes me want to puke

Someone does know how to calm down traumas? I know it's not going to disappear in a day but it would help a lot any tip

I think the way to deal with this is to take it a little at a time. The idea is to gradually expand the boundary of what you are comfortable with. You could start by visiting a public restroom very briefly - just step in there for a few seconds and then step out again; don't linger to actually do anything - at a time of day when you can be sure there won't be anyone else there. If you can cope with that, then set a slightly more demanding target and tackle that. And so on. If at any stage, even the first stage, you find you can't cope, then wait for a few days and try again. As you get used to doing something it will probably become easier.
Good luck.

 

[s0ft.bldd]

passo dopo passo, inizia semplicemente avvicinandoti, poi quando ti senti pronto entra e rimani dentro per qualche minuto, giorno dopo giorno aumenta i minuti in cui rimani dentro e col passare del tempo :abbraccio:

tysm !!

I sympathise. I had traumatic changing room experiences too and still struggle to use public facilities depending on my mood. The usual advice with phobias is to start slowly. So just open the door and look in the main room. Then get used to standing in the main bit with the door open. Then shut. Then a bit further in. Then wash your hands. Then go into a cubicle. And so on and so on. If it gets too much, take it back a few steps. If you need comforting noises, listen to favourite music or podcasts. If you need to be alert, don't listen to anything but wear your most confidence-inducing clothes and shoes. And always do something special for a treat afterwards to reward yourself as yes, you are absolutely worth it. Or if money is tight, put some real cash in a savings box each time you do it and then get yourself something with that.

I've used this technique in the past and it really does work.

Xx

I usually listen to some music when I need to go to a public restroom, it indeed helps a lot!!

And tysm for your help<3

personally (most likely obviously for a different reason) i dont use public restrooms, or any that isnt mine for that matter.
when i first moved in with my exhus (later) he commented that he "thought i didnt use the bathroom" i just waited until he left for work. and when i was living with my bf for those 2 days, i waited until i went to work.
back in school? before and after.

personally i use mindfulness and exposure therapy (plus probably some other therapies, i dont really put names to everything just, "this feels good, its working, ect")
but bathrooms? nope, still refuse to. i completely get your reasoning i wouldnt like bathrooms either. but considering i dont want to use them for no other reason that im aware of past people can hear, i have no expectations for you either. (basically mines a really minor reason and im not doing anything about it and yours is a major reason. if im not going to do anything about it, it would be hypocritical to say "you should fix this" but i can tell you what i use for my other traumas )

It happens the same to me, I can't go to any bathroom or restroom if I'm not alone, not even with my family.

It helps a lot to know I'm not alone, it makes me feel much better. Thank you sm for your words

I think the way to deal with this is to take it a little at a time. The idea is to gradually expand the bundary of what you are comfortable with. You could start by visiting a public restroom very briefly - just step in there for a few seconds and then step out again; don't linger to actually do anything - at a time of day when you can be sure there won't be anyone else there. If you can cope with that, then set a slightly more demanding target and tackle that. And so on. If at any stage, even the first stage, you find you can't cope, then wait for a few days and try again. As you get used to doing something it will probably become easier.
Good luck.

thank you sm for your help, I will do my best to get better !