How to move on from a former friend verbally abusing me?

[Fimbulvetr]

Recently I've realized one of my former friends isn't a good person. We used to both be mods in a discord server, but she kept instigating me and hurting me, so the owner of the server tried to mediate by getting her to apologize to me for causing me mental breakdowns daily. She said some god awful stuff in that conversation, like "It's not my fault you're having breakdowns over something as pathetic as this", so the owner demanded she apologize or she be banned (" (user) your next message is to be an apology or you are being banned for rule 6
"We may apply punishments for other actions that could harm the server or project."
Longer form of rules dictates this includes causing problems for (project name) members, and stressing out Fimbu over such a ridiculous gripe definitely qualifies")
She actively refused to apologize for causing me extreme suffering for over a week to the point I literally could not function, so she got banned.
How do I move past this and accept that she was just a horrible person and that this is for the best? A part of me keeps hoping she'd apologize but I feel like she showed her true colors here. so idk what to do

 

[vipatherappa]

it seems like you still have an emotional attachment to your former friend. where do you think it comes from?

 

[sash]

Hi. The owner of the server could clearly see this person was cruel, nasty, someone who deserved warnings and then a ban when the owner saw how distressed u were, because of the way your 'friend' was towards you.
The owner has shown yu that the 'friend' is bad.
Look we all have off days, but if I growl at a friend and they pull me up, I will apologise and then usually explain im having a bad time, im so sorry. Then I will do my best even tho feeling down and grumpy, to be lovely to my friend. How many warnings did your 'friend' have.... and continued.
That person is not your friend.
The server had your back. They clearly dont like ppl like that. They saw her colours.

 

[Fimbulvetr]

it seems like you still have an emotional attachment to your former friend. where do you think it comes from?

I think it's because I have BPD, and she was one of my FPs. I really trusted her so I felt betrayed when she acted the way she did... Repeatedly... x.x

Hi. The owner of the server could clearly see this person was cruel, nasty, someone who deserved warnings and then a ban when the owner saw how distressed u were, because of the way your 'friend' was towards you.
The owner has shown yu that the 'friend' is bad.
Look we all have off days, but if I growl at a friend and they pull me up, I will apologise and then usually explain im having a bad time, im so sorry. Then I will do my best even tho feeling down and grumpy, to be lovely to my friend. How many warnings did your 'friend' have.... and continued.
That person is not your friend.
The server had your back. They clearly dont like ppl like that. They saw her colours.

This is true ><! I should just accept she wasn't a good friend tbh. It's been much better without her around, so idk why I'm still so sad over it. It's kinda silly ig!

 

[vipatherappa]

what's an FP lol
About the sadness, I think it'll pass with time. Especially if the you and the server have been better without her. In a week's time you'll probably be laughing your asses off sharing stories about her

 

[Fimbulvetr]

Oh! It's a favorite person!
"People with BPD feel firmly attached to their favorite person and may depend on them for comfort, reassurance, emotional support, and guidance."

 

[WAITING TO DIE]

She is obviously a toxic asshole, and people like her are incapable of apologising.
Sorry you went through this.

 

[Dangerdonkey333]

Losing friends is tough, but the biggest thing is realizing they might not have been . Puting wasted time and effort into a relationship to have it crumble sucks. But having it end so that it doesn't continue to cause harm is a good outcome even if it doesn't feel like it. And I know you didn't get the apology you wanted, but they did end up paying for it. So maybe that might appeal to some sense of justice.

 

[Ε. Η. R.]

Me too recently experienced bullying on two discord servers, collected on the same site. It's a pity that I realized too late what scums there is on this site.
Caused significant harm to me on this two channels.

Fimbulvetr, don't blame yourself for the toxicity and scumness of non-humans.

 

[Life Is My Coffin]

She said some god awful stuff in that conversation, like "It's not my fault you're having breakdowns over something as pathetic as this" ......................
idk what to do

Say "you are a total cunt, go fuck yourself" and then smash the "block user" button

 

[sash]

I think it's because I have BPD, and she was one of my FPs. I really trusted her so I felt betrayed when she acted the way she did... Repeatedly... x.x


This is true ><! I should just accept she wasn't a good friend tbh. It's been much better without her around, so idk why I'm still so sad over it. It's kinda silly ig!

Hi, sorry having trouble accessing site.
You are sad cos u are grieving. Its that simple, yes disappointment, hurt etc. But u r grieving someone who was in yr life, who wasnt what u thought too, but she is no longer yr future, gone, grieving a loss of a friend who at some point im guessing was great. A forever friend. They turned on u and abused yr friendship.

You are grieving a loss.

 

[Fimbulvetr]

Ohhhh... That makes sense. I think I have trouble dealing with grief, too, so that doesn't help. My best friend who was murdered by drug dealers I still feel ... like... her loss strongly.
Also I've been having a hard time accessing the site too sometimes! IDK why. My computer hates me maybe lol