Discussion How to make it easier on my family?

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

I'm not imminently planning on ending my life, but I think about it often and recognize it might be a possibility in my future.

What can I do to make it easier on my family afterwards? I love them dearly and want to minimize their pain. I know of course they'll suffer horribly no matter what, but I want to know what I can do to give them even a small comfort in their grief.

I've written a lengthy note explaining how much I love them and how regretful I am that this act will hurt them. How I treasure all the memories I have with them, and reassuring them that there is nothing they could have done to prevent my death, and they don't need to feel any guilt or regret. I've also included what to be done with all my money and belongings.

Is there anything else I can do? I really hope to avoid suicide, but if it comes to that I truly want to lessen their pain as much as I can.

 

[No More Tears]

In reality, there is no way to make it easier on your family. Nothing they do will bring you back. Nothing they say will bring you back. You leaving a note will not make it easier.

There's just no practical way around how to make it easier for them.

 

[qualityOV3Rquantity]

In reality, there is no way to make it easier on your family. Nothing they do will bring you back. Nothing they say will bring you back. You leaving a note will not make it easier.

There's just no practical way around how to make it easier for them.

Maybe so, but I hope to at least prevent them from having unanswered questions. I've very clearly explained in the note why I did what I did, so they won't feel they missed signs or don't know why or stuff like that.

 

[No More Tears]

Understandable. It will still be a tough pill for them to swallow either way. You do what you think is right for you and them. I wish you the best.

 

[kyhoti]

imo, that's the crux of most of our problems. Somehow, some way, we cling to the illusion of control, like by our efforts we can change the outside world to the point where we'll fit. If only someone would truly understand, truly grasp what is going on in our heads, then we could approximate peace. Towards the end, we still seek that emotional intimacy which has eluded us, thus the felt need for some sort of final communication or action that will clear it up. In reality, none of us ever have control over anything outside of ourselves, even if we think that by some violent action we have created an effect.

I cannot control my own feelings, much less the feelings of others. I have done the math and interpreted that the world is better off without me in it, regardless of the pain caused by my final act. Your experience may differ.

May you find the clarity you seek.

 

[EternalSummer]

Well I made it clear in my letter that I love them and don't blame them, i'm trying to get closer to them as the day arrives, spending good times with them, remembering about the good things. I also trying to explain in my letter this idea that is not because I ctbed that everything I lived was in vain, if that was the case, everybody that passed away was as if they had never existed. Everybody's lives are temporary, everybody is gonna die, ctb doesnt change a lot in the end, so everything good that I have in my heart and all the love I felt is as much valid as someone who died from natural causes, I just decided when I couldnt go on anymore.