WallTermite
Student
- Aug 16, 2025
- 168
I'm desperate. I need to something to make my heart stop. There is drowning but it scares me as it would be in the middle of nowhere. I've thought of od on magnesium glycinate, but it probably won't do anything besides upset stomach.
I just can't do anything. I live with family so ordering SN seems impossible. I don't have guns, I don't got anything. Rope is too risky for me. I wish I could hit my chest and get commotio cordis and just fucking dip out this existence.
There is salt od but it sucks, and so does water od.
I know starvation is a non method, but I'm considering it. Knowing my luck tho, I will pass out after 3 months and some mf will rescue me.
If I lived in a cold place I could just ctb by hypothermia, but this is a hot fucking tropical riggedy ass country. I'm losing my sanity, I have too many issues. Too many things going wrong without fix.
Also, at this point, I don't wanna be saved. I want to be part of the statistics. I want people to know my pain, I want them to know how much I hate it.
What if I ate 8 tubes of toothpaste? What if I get drunk and finally get courage to drown myself? Why am I human?? I could have been a jellyfish and not aware if anything, but my parents had to be stupid and have children because that what makes everyone happy. I fucking hate them so much. I wish they would die so I can be alone. I hate taking so much medication. Hasn't helped at all.
I want to die. I don't care if someone points a gun at me, just slime me with several bullets through the skull. I hate myself and I hate everyone.
I just can't do anything. I live with family so ordering SN seems impossible. I don't have guns, I don't got anything. Rope is too risky for me. I wish I could hit my chest and get commotio cordis and just fucking dip out this existence.
There is salt od but it sucks, and so does water od.
I know starvation is a non method, but I'm considering it. Knowing my luck tho, I will pass out after 3 months and some mf will rescue me.
If I lived in a cold place I could just ctb by hypothermia, but this is a hot fucking tropical riggedy ass country. I'm losing my sanity, I have too many issues. Too many things going wrong without fix.
Also, at this point, I don't wanna be saved. I want to be part of the statistics. I want people to know my pain, I want them to know how much I hate it.
What if I ate 8 tubes of toothpaste? What if I get drunk and finally get courage to drown myself? Why am I human?? I could have been a jellyfish and not aware if anything, but my parents had to be stupid and have children because that what makes everyone happy. I fucking hate them so much. I wish they would die so I can be alone. I hate taking so much medication. Hasn't helped at all.
I want to die. I don't care if someone points a gun at me, just slime me with several bullets through the skull. I hate myself and I hate everyone.
