How to lessen a fear of death?

[everlastinghistory]

I've attempted multiple times in the past. Every time I'm terrified right before until I actually do it. Then I feel oddly calm. Almost peaceful. During one of those attempts however, I freaked out, and started yelling for my mom to come up to the bathroom because I was afraid to die.

It's not so much dying that scares me as what comes after it. Just… Not existing anymore seems kind of odd. While I may hate my life, the idea of going poof scares me to an extent.

I don't know how to stop thinking about this. It freaks me out every time I think about committing too seriously. I don't want to stay alive but the idea of not existing can't give me peace for some reason.

 

[No longer suicidal😁]

By thinking about how horrible my life is. Yet, SI is still there.

 

[almostoutofhere]

I try to think of death as sleep. We're not aware of anything while we sleep, it's as if we just cease to exist (in our brain) for some hours. SI is tricky though.

 

[Scythe]

Oh hey, I too am anxious for the entire day until I actually attempt. Then I'm excited about it...followed by the disappointment as I wake up again.
My tip is to think about all the reasons that led up to you making this decision and ask yourself, do you have a reason to live? That and if you don't exist anymore you won't feel anything, so there's nothing to be afraid of.

 

[Timetoleave1]

Do not fear it. Just embrace it.

 

[LookingOverTheEdge]

I don't think you can. I think a fear of death is a natural thing, as is SI, and there's no way to just turn it off.

I did recently, make an attempt where I felt no SI at all, just a calm acceptance. But there was no trick to it. I was just tired, and ready to go. I'd never had that feeling before and I don't know if I will again.

 

[silverswan]

Reading about near-death experiences and the afterlife can be helpful for some people.

 

[AloneInCollege]

Whenever i think about it to hard I get a really bad panic attack

 

[pthnrdnojvsc]

I've attempted multiple times in the past. Every time I'm terrified right before until I actually do it. Then I feel oddly calm. Almost peaceful. During one of those attempts however, I freaked out, and started yelling for my mom to come up to the bathroom because I was afraid to die.

It's not so much dying that scares me as what comes after it. Just… Not existing anymore seems kind of odd. While I may hate my life, the idea of going poof scares me to an extent.

I don't know how to stop thinking about this. It freaks me out every time I think about committing too seriously. I don't want to stay alive but the idea of not existing can't give me peace for some reason.

I don't see what is bad about non-existence. I didn't exist for 13.8 billion years and all that time i had no problems with not existing . And in all that time of non-existence i had no pain no suffering no diseases. I didn't have to work, take out trash, a million other crap things. I didn't want nor worry for anything. The problems began when I was birthed into this evil world as a very fragile, always hungry, aging small animal . . Every human and other animal will die anyway and not exist forever.After death I like a bug being crushed will just not exist again

 

[Forever Sleep]

Honestly, I haven't made an attempt yet. (Hanging on for my Dad.) I think I'm probably just delluding myself that I'm going to be fine doing it... I expect I won't be!

Still for me- the motivation is- my future frightens me an awful lot more than if I didn't have one. Life seems more frightening than death. (So long as death is nothingness.)

I guess I'm not really scared of not existing though, so I find it hard to relate. I'm sorry it seems so daunting. I suppose- a way to look at it- is- it will be a relatively brief short amount of time you experience this fear. If you say you felt calm after it- maybe try to focus on that- know that that stage will likely follow and it might help you get through it.

 

[ksp]

this was mentioned above, but i'm not afraid to go to sleep

i spend several hours, every day, being dead (then i wake up and continue), but in those hours i'm not aware of anything

another good description:

When you're dead, you won't know you're dead -or that you were ever alive! There is no more you to know anything!

(this person spent two weeks in a long coma, after surviving 15 grams of Nembutal)

"For if there is going to be unhappiness and suffering, the person must also himself
exist at that same time, for the evil to be able to befall him. Since death robs him of this,
preventing the existence of the person for the evils to be heaped upon, you can tell that
there is nothing for us to fear in death, that he who does not exist cannot be unhappy, and
that when immortal death snatches away a mortal life it is no different from never having
been born." ~Lucretius: On the Nature of Things (excerpt) Roman poet, 94-55 BC


"Life was not a valuable gift, but death was.

 

[FuneralCry]

Non existence is something that should never be feared as there is simply nothing to fear. We just won't exist at that point and we lack the awareness to experience absolutely anything at all. To me this is perfection as only true peace can lie in the absence of everything. I think that one can stop fearing death when they consider the fact that once we die whatever this life has burdened us with will be long gone and whatever happens in this cruel, horrific world could never concern us.

To die is ideal as it removes the true cause of all problems in the first place which is life itself and anyway it's simply inevitable for us to die, it's our inescapable fate that we are destined for. Life only exists as a consequence of evolution anyway, our lives are so insignificant and meaningless, with death being the most normal and expected thing ever after all. Only the non existent are really fortunate as they lack the ability to be tortured.

 

[my-end]

In the pinned threads there's a post, "thoughts on suicide". Interesting.
It touches on how we were NOT for such a long time but moving to that again is fearful.
For those without an acute need for relief, I believe some tricks must be played on ourselves.
I started imagining that my situation is terminal, as with terminal illness. And that this is just the way it is, and it's just my time, and it's out of my control (despite). Idk when exactly but I suspect I'll have to accept it fully before I do it. I want to go knowing I'm saving myself from anymore of this.

I don't think you can. I think a fear of death is a natural thing, as is SI, and there's no way to just turn it off.

I did recently, make an attempt where I felt no SI at all, just a calm acceptance. But there was no trick to it. I was just tired, and ready to go. I'd never had that feeling before and I don't know if I will again.

Interesting. I wonder about the time leading up to it. These are my wonderings, feel no obligation to answer.
Was it time spent mostly alone, for how long? Had you eaten much in the time preceding? Were you clear headed/sober? Where were your thoughts in the 24 hours before? Was it soon after waking or after being awake for a while, or maybe soon before bedtime?
I feel these things play a factor...like, one probably won't go after having just eaten or just woke up. Maybe there's a few hours of reflection beforehand...idk.

 

[mandagratigus]

I've attempted multiple times in the past. Every time I'm terrified right before until I actually do it. Then I feel oddly calm. Almost peaceful. During one of those attempts however, I freaked out, and started yelling for my mom to come up to the bathroom because I was afraid to die.

It's not so much dying that scares me as what comes after it. Just… Not existing anymore seems kind of odd. While I may hate my life, the idea of going poof scares me to an extent.

I don't know how to stop thinking about this. It freaks me out every time I think about committing too seriously. I don't want to stay alive but the idea of not existing can't give me peace for some reason.

I'm the opposite way. I want to stop existing so badly, but I know I'm going to hurt people.

I'm selfish; diagnosed bipolar narcissist sociopath, so I'm probably going to do it anyway.

 

[LookingOverTheEdge]

In the pinned threads there's a post, "thoughts on suicide". Interesting.
It touches on how we were NOT for such a long time but moving to that again is fearful.
For those without an acute need for relief, I believe some tricks must be played on ourselves.
I started imagining that my situation is terminal, as with terminal illness. And that this is just the way it is, and it's just my time, and it's out of my control (despite). Idk when exactly but I suspect I'll have to accept it fully before I do it. I want to go knowing I'm saving myself from anymore of this.


Interesting. I wonder about the time leading up to it. These are my wonderings, feel no obligation to answer.
Was it time spent mostly alone, for how long? Had you eaten much in the time preceding? Were you clear headed/sober? Where were your thoughts in the 24 hours before? Was it soon after waking or after being awake for a while, or maybe soon before bedtime?
I feel these things play a factor...like, one probably won't go after having just eaten or just woke up. Maybe there's a few hours of reflection beforehand...idk.

I have been essentially completely alone for a few months now. And had been at the attempt, which was around three weeks ago.

I hadn't eaten for days. I had no desire to. This is not unusual for me when the depression takes hold.

I was sober. And I had and still am, been heavily depressed for months. It was in the latter part of my day. Hadn't been a good day, and I got very down and then just on impulse I did what I did. It was all done in minutes.

Now regardless of whatever else happened. I lay in my bed believing that I had a span of minutes left before I went out and didn't come back. And I was perfectly calm and peaceful about it. There was no fear, just resignation.

I hope that answers your questions. I have always had SI during other times. This was the only time I ever felt completely calm.

 

[Gustav Hartmann]

I've attempted multiple times in the past. Every time I'm terrified right before until I actually do it. Then I feel oddly calm. Almost peaceful. During one of those attempts however, I freaked out, and started yelling for my mom to come up to the bathroom because I was afraid to die.

It's not so much dying that scares me as what comes after it. Just… Not existing anymore seems kind of odd. While I may hate my life, the idea of going poof scares me to an extent.

I don't know how to stop thinking about this. It freaks me out every time I think about committing too seriously. I don't want to stay alive but the idea of not existing can't give me peace for some reason.

You started yelling for your mom to come up to the bathroom. What was her reaction? You should not be here when you are under 18!

 

[lost&lonely]

I'm not afraid to die, I'm just afraid that my third attempt will result in failure yet again.

 

[everlastinghistory]

You started yelling for your mom to come up to the bathroom. What was her reaction? You should not be here when you are under 18!

That story happened 3 years ago but also… Do you think people just magically get handed a shit ton of money on their 18th birthday and immediately move out and live entirely independent? I didn't graduate last year because I missed too many days of school. I'm 18. Born in 2004. Turn 19 this year. Of course I still live with my parents. I'm not mentally able to get a job and I'm still in school.

 

[Myforevercharlie]

You started yelling for your mom to come up to the bathroom. What was her reaction? You should not be here when you are under 18!

I lived with my mom for a time 4 years ago because I just got separated. I yelled for her often, I was 42 then

 

[Wannagonow]

If I felt sure about the afterlife, not existing, where do I go and so on, I would have been gone many years ago. Being a part of this forum has introduced me to a new variety of theories. Unfortunately adding to my confusion at times. But I have realized this- none of us really know- we have hopes, theories and promises about where we go. I TRY not to overthink it. We're all going somewhere- even if it's just in the ground. We can't control that. We can control how we get there.