Help How to know what not to say?

[Doctors HATE them]

I have autism and I struggle with knowing what is and isn't right to say. Today I found out that apparently there is a gore video going around, so I warned my friends to be careful and stay safe. One asked for context on the video and I told them that even the context is bad. They then said "nvm" and I tried to comfort them by saying that it's unlikely they'll see it, but that it's good to know in order to avoid it. And they said "nah" and haven't responded after I apologized and changed the topic. I was told a few days before to think carefully about what I said, but I don't understand what I did wrong in this case. I only wanted to help because I didn't think they wanted to be exposed to that. Maybe I scared them with the idea that they might find it? But even if it's unlikely it's possible and I thought warning someone would be a good idea. After that I apologized, so short of mind reading I'm not sure what I could've done differently.

I have autism and I struggle with knowing what is and isn't right to say. Today I found out that apparently there is a gore video going around, so I warned my friends to be careful and stay safe. One asked for context on the video and I told them that even the context is bad. They then said "nvm" and I tried to comfort them by saying that it's unlikely they'll see it, but that it's good to know in order to avoid it. And they said "nah" and haven't responded after I apologized and changed the topic. I was told a few days before to think carefully about what I said, but I don't understand what I did wrong in this case. I only wanted to help because I didn't think they wanted to be exposed to that. Maybe I scared them with the idea that they might find it? But even if it's unlikely it's possible and I thought warning someone would be a good idea. After that I apologized, so short of mind reading I'm not sure what I could've done differently.

I understand not responding because they're shaken but they don't seem to be upset seeing as they're talking in another groupchat

 

[YEAR2050]

i dont think you couldve done anything differently. if they asked for the contents of the video, they should assume that you would tell them. however, if they asked and then said "nvm" BEFORE you told them, then you shouldnt have told them. reading your post, i get the impression that the former scenario was the one that played out, in which case you didnt do anything wrong imo.

 

[Kit1]

I have autism and I struggle with knowing what is and isn't right to say. Today I found out that apparently there is a gore video going around, so I warned my friends to be careful and stay safe. One asked for context on the video and I told them that even the context is bad. They then said "nvm" and I tried to comfort them by saying that it's unlikely they'll see it, but that it's good to know in order to avoid it. And they said "nah" and haven't responded after I apologized and changed the topic. I was told a few days before to think carefully about what I said, but I don't understand what I did wrong in this case. I only wanted to help because I didn't think they wanted to be exposed to that. Maybe I scared them with the idea that they might find it? But even if it's unlikely it's possible and I thought warning someone would be a good idea. After that I apologized, so short of mind reading I'm not sure what I could've done differently.

I understand not responding because they're shaken but they don't seem to be upset seeing as they're talking in another groupchat

I am autistic as well and years ago, a dear friend/colleague trained me on how to approach questions and conversations and I have been good at masking ever since and I try and keep away from parties etc. Honestly you haven't done anything wrong. Unfortunately for some of us who are autistic, we just tell the truth and try and be helpful. In order to get along in this world, there are some rules that the neurotypicals appear to have and no amount of lessons in Latin and any other languages is going to help us totally blend in with the neurotypicals - and do we really want to be false anyway? You did your best for your friend and that is not a crime - you spoke to him or her from a place of kindness and clearly they do not have the wisdom to understand or appreciate that kindness. It is hurtful when people ignore us (especially when it is difficult to understand the reasoning), but better to move on - if they are elready, they might come back. I am so sorry if I wrote sound harsh and callous - just really don't want you to blame yourself for something that is not your fault. Self care and understanding and appreciation of oneself really helps when we are autistic - easier said as I never did quite manage to accept it either..,