how to help struggling people?

[kitty.iceFS]

if you were actively struggling with something , say it to be depression to ideations or all sort of things , how would YOU want to be helped? How would you want others to help you, what can people do for you to make it better?

I think this entirely goes down to mindset itself - you cannot be helped yourself if you don't want it or make a change , regardless of others help
But if you wanted help, wanted to make a change and if you could have people helping you, what would you want them to do?

 

[eeah]

just be there. proactively reach out, not about whatever issues specifically but just any random thing. talk with them every day at least a little bit. organize fun stuff or to visit if theyre up for it. just be a good friend really. and make sure they feel comfortable talking about their issues. and that they can call if they ever need help. this is all ive ever really done and i think id want the same. im not good at knowing all the right things to say especially in a crisis but i dont think u rly need to

 

[Cyc]

I'd just want someone to listen and empathise. In this world where we're constantly expected to be busy or active, it's hard to find people who can just...sit down and listen. It's a rare skill nowadays imo

Empathy, for me, is also hard to find. Due to the severity of my trauma (CSA, physical and emotional abuse), it's hard to find normies who can empathise with me as they can never understand what I've been through and how deeply it affects me. Just finding someone who could truly understand what I've been through would mean the world to me.

I'd want people to understand that it takes time to heal. It's not a lineae journey, there will be times where I relapse and that's okay as long as I try my best to push forward. I think a lot of people don't understand the amount of willpower and effort it takes to heal from depression/suicidal ideation, because it not only affects you mentally but also physically. Constant tiredness, changes in sleep and appetite, it all fucks you up on top of the mental struggles, even if it doesn't feel like it

Tldr; people need to be more understanding and empathetic

 

[muu]

if you were actively struggling with something , say it to be depression to ideations or all sort of things , how would YOU want to be helped? How would you want others to help you, what can people do for you to make it better?

I think this entirely goes down to mindset itself - you cannot be helped yourself if you don't want it or make a change , regardless of others help
But if you wanted help, wanted to make a change and if you could have people helping you, what would you want them to do?

make it very clear for the person that you care and they can go to you whenever they need to. for a lot of people who are depressed or otherwise, it can feel like everyone you know hates you and doesn't want to help you at all, even when that's not true.

that's my advice at least

 

[kitty.iceFS]

Thank you all for the helpful feedback! I really appreciate the input it means a lot:)

To sum it up , basically make time for the person, listen and take time to understand with empathy and also reaching out! Noted! Thank yous for this!

 

[4colliez]

To sum it up , basically make time for the person, listen and take time to understand with empathy and also reaching out! Noted! Thank yous for this!

What the others have said is very true, people don't usually want a "solution" unless they ask for it.

I also want to add, don't tell someone you will be there for them unless you're ready to hear things you don't necessarily want to. I've unfortunately had (and currently have) the problem of my friends getting upset and then pushing me away because I told them I wasn't ready/didn't want to do something they suggested. Then I end up isolated in difficult moments

Being there for someone going through a tough time can be very draining and upsetting and I think most of us here understand that. So it's okay if you sometimes don't want to or can't be fully there for them and it's important to admit that to yourself too

 

[paperbaghat]

Holding people and being held. A hug now and then is nice, I try to hug my parents as much as possible

 

[vergnano]

Be available, but it works different for different people actually. And tbh if i knew how to help myself i would already done it