how to get through the day

[lkjhgfdsa1]

The only thing on my mind all day is dying.

I cannot be distracted. My old hobbies all became meaningless to me and I cannot stand to listen to music or podcasts, watch a show, or have enough concentration to read… all my mind does is think about when and how to end my suffering.

I'm really going through a difficult time. Every day I wish this wasn't my life or my future (hopefully nonexistent soon), that I wouldn't wake up anymore, that I'd just stop… breathing.

Getting through the day is too difficult…

And I changed my method from FSH to SN and am waiting for my SN to arrive but honestly I get so frustrated and hopeless at times, I just want to grab my rope and end it asap.

Sometimes I watch videos of people hanging themselves and they make it seem so easy. I wish I was as brave. But it also makes me wonder whether I am overthinking it and making it more complicated.

 

[FuneralCry]

I also just wish to never wake, I certainly understand that it's so dreadful suffering in this existence when you just want to be gone. But anyway I hope that you eventually find the peace you search for.

 

[iloverachel]

Getting through the day is tough
I feel like I'm in a torture chamber or the saw horror movie
Have to find ways to survive

 

[lizzywizzy09]

The only thing on my mind all day is dying.

I cannot be distracted. My old hobbies all became meaningless to me and I cannot stand to listen to music or podcasts, watch a show, or have enough concentration to read… all my mind does is think about when and how to end my suffering.

I'm really going through a difficult time. Every day I wish this wasn't my life or my future (hopefully nonexistent soon), that I wouldn't wake up anymore, that I'd just stop… breathing.

Getting through the day is too difficult…

And I changed my method from FSH to SN and am waiting for my SN to arrive but honestly I get so frustrated and hopeless at times, I just want to grab my rope and end it asap.

Sometimes I watch videos of people hanging themselves and they make it seem so easy. I wish I was as brave. But it also makes me wonder whether I am overthinking it and making it more complicated.

I 100% understand. It truly feels like the worst possible timeline. It's hard to ignore that and pay attention to other things. Hard to relax in a ruined body and life (speaking for myself). It's strange how I was able to enjoy distractions a few months ago but what bothers me always gets worse and comes to the surface. It does not go away and never will. I envy those with a set date who are able to relax in the meantime.

 

[unabletocope]

I just lie down on the sofa and work my thoughts into a suicide plan, it's all you can do when your life has hit this point sadly.

 

[no_tomorrow]

if you can make yourself cry that sometimes help

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

if you can make yourself cry that sometimes help

That helped me before.

But now I can't stop crying anymore.

I just lie down on the sofa and work my thoughts into a suicide plan, it's all you can do when your life has hit this point sadly.

The waiting is excruciating.
I keep "waiting" for the right moment, but it must be SI.

 

[unabletocope]

The waiting is excruciating.
I keep "waiting" for the right moment, but it must be SI.

Sure. You're probably just trying to focus on getting it right, I struggle with it as well

 

[lkjhgfdsa1]

Sure. You're probably just trying to focus on getting it right, I struggle with it as well

Everything just feels pointless at this point. Can't even find something I'd like to eat and things I used to crave badly don't even taste good to me anymore.

As for ctb, I really have no room for failure— which is why I am so scared and procrastinating

 

[unabletocope]

Everything just feels pointless at this point. Can't even find something I'd like to eat and things I used to crave badly don't even taste good to me anymore.

As for ctb, I really have no room for failure— which is why I am so scared and procrastinating

Again, relate to all of that. For some dumbass reason I spoke to my dad earlier and even though I felt like starving myself I ended up buying a meal out of it and now I'm bloated, just need to keep the focus up I guess

 

[Abyssal]

I don't know, by suffering in this excruciating hell hole where we will never find happiness I guess. Death will make it easier, I must die so that I don't have to sit in the pain anymore. It'll be best that way, my perfect no strings attached solution