how to get better?

[LarsPaul]

apparently there isnt anything they can do for suicidal people. all they always tell me is to "work on myself".

so i went to therapy and they called the cops on me and put me on psych ward. its germany so at least its for free but still it wasnt helpful at all. they took my phone away and forced me to talk to cruel people in there and said im only allowed to leave if i promise i wont do it.

it has been super traumatizing to be around humans i dont want that again.

how do suicidal people get better?

 

[fromange]

Damn wtf. What a terrible policy. I'm so sorry they did that to you ;(

If there's a will to live, or get better, I think there will be a way. A lot of people here have said that there's not a clear moment of "recovery" and that you will always carry suicidalness with you. I can imagine that. I feel like a driftwood in the ocean.

Especially if this incident was recent, just be easy on yourself. You're strong for surviving that, and also for seeking therapy in the first place. You did the right thing. Just do what you gotta do. I didn't have to deal with what you did but I'm in the dump with you.

 

[LarsPaul]

i actually dont see any way out of suicidality.

when you tell them you suicidial, then they ask why.

when you tell them why, they say you have to work on that.

-> so basically only option out of suicidality is to work your way out of the dump by your own strength lol

.. but i aint no strength on my own. and i actually dont see any hope that there could be a reasonable good life for me ever, even if i had the strength.

i got a roof over my head but otherwise im basically a psychotic homeless. i didnt properly talk to humans in years. i wont even know how that works. i barely cant go outside of the house for a decade now or such..

i dont see how there is any chance to ever overcome that lol

 

[EmptyBottle]

i actually dont see any way out of suicidality.

when you tell them you suicidial, then they ask why.

when you tell them why, they say you have to work on that.

-> so basically only option out of suicidality is to work your way out of the dump by your own strength lol

.. but i aint no strength on my own. and i actually dont see any hope that there could be a reasonable good life for me ever, even if i had the strength.

i got a roof over my head but otherwise im basically a psychotic homeless. i didnt properly talk to humans in years. i wont even know how that works. i barely cant go outside of the house for a decade now or such..

i dont see how there is any chance to ever overcome that lol

Other options may include practicing thought reframing, which probably doesn't require as much strength as it does practice.... medication (though ask others on the forum about the side effects of the specific medication... not just the doctors because they can sometimes overlook stuff), distraction (can work sometimes), and even meditation!

 

[LarsPaul]

psych ward in germany (and many other countries) is pretty good.

when i am there i at least get a lot of my shit together: i shower daily, cut my hair, even brush my teeth. some people say i look like a normal human.

but conversation skills (with social anxiety) is so insane. its like people speak another language. i just get mumbles out and 90% of conversations fail.

even if i manage to actually have a normal conversation with someone, then it feels insanely difficult and awkward. im super overwhelmed afterwards and exhausted.

there is all those normal functioning humans in psych ward and i feel like an alien. most of them even have a normal life, a job, a partner lol .. they just arent even able to imagine what im going through.. a lot of them are shocked as soon as i start talking.

 

[NutOrat]

so i went to therapy and they called the cops on me and put me on psych ward.

That sucks. What did you tell the therapist? Did you just tell them you have suicidal thoughts, or that you're actively at risk? I'm most afraid of that happening, it's like they don't want you to go to therapy and scare you away by threatening hospitalization. I want help, not to be treated like a threat.

when you tell them why, they say you have to work on that.

-> so basically only option out of suicidality is to work your way out of the dump by your own strength lol

.. but i aint no strength on my own. and i actually dont see any hope that there could be a reasonable good life for me ever, even if i had the strength.

And of course, that. The "Nobody can help you if you don't want to help yourself" crap. Like, how do they expect people who want to end it all to suddenly have that strength and willpower to help themselves? And it sounds to me more like they want to put all responsibility on you, so even if treatment fails, it's not because they didn't help enough or didn't do their job properly, it's because you weren't willing to change. Your misery is your own fault.

 

[LarsPaul]

in germany they have rules they have to obey by called Leitlinien. they basically tell them that when suicidal thoughts are serious that they have to talk to you about going to psych ward. my therapist said im being super psychotic and at the same time insanely suicidal thats why im being a threat to myself and she called the cops.

i had the option to resist. they told me if i resist they have to call a judge who makes the decision. so i went with them by free will and when i promised im not gonna do it they let me go home by free will. (when you resist you can be forced to stay) (but thats just german laws)

but i totally agree with you that whole therapy system is just all "care about youself" what just doesnt make any sense at all lol.

i came there bc i need help from outside and they just tell me "nah, help yourself instead" lol... imagine you actually pay someone to make it their whole story to "not help you" lol

this whole therapy gaslightning is just a giant story of victim blaming suicidal people.. like everything therapy is about is that its all my fault and no one is gonna help me and im alone and if i dont do anything about it i will stay suffering till the day i die lol..

the wild thing is that they keep marketing it as such an wholesome experience where you finally get "the help you deserve" lol.. and then all they do is just make it worse..

 

[SoulCage]

the wild thing is that they keep marketing it as such an wholesome experience where you finally get "the help you deserve" lol.. and then all they do is just make it worse..

Exactly this makes me furious.

I am from Austria, so guidelines and mental health advertisement will be very similar. People who read my previous posts know how fed up I am with all "there is always help if you need it" bullshit from official caretakers. All they do is playing charades, making sure the tax payer money looks well spent (when in reality, people are not really receiving long term help to get better).
I am mentally to weak to fight them, to call them out on all social channels, to do better, to make life better for everyone, but I just can't.. I am just here, voicing my uncensored rage to people who probably feel the same way and hopefully... Feel that it's okay to be mad at the people who abandoned you. It's okay to not be grateful for the help we received. It really is shit and they don't deserve any appreciation.

 

[LarsPaul]

there is even many scientists of them in the german psychologie subreddit. i called them out many times for not deliviering any help..

people arent even able to process the critics. in their eyes psychotherapy is this magical and perfect thing that fixes everyone. in their eyes psychotherapy knows the answers to all the things and its god-like when healing people.

as soon as you start critizing they become truly offended and triggered and defend their perfect magical therapy to death.

in their eyes so many suicidal people die, bc they havent been to therapy lol. bc "if they had, then they would be cured and not dead".

there is meta studies from cuijpers et al which show that barely 40% of people profit from psychotherapy.

when you call therapists out on that, they actually truly say - no joke - **thats the fault of the patients bc psychotherapy is perfect**

in their eyes psychotherapy fails bc the patients arent "putting in enough effort" lol

its a shitshow and with all the fame that psychotherapy gets nowadays it wont change soon enough..

.. so many will die bc of the ignorance of therapists.

it makes so furious bc its those peoples jobs to help suicidal people. and so many people in the deepest of suffering will die, bc therapists arent doing their job properly and no one in this society gives a fuck.