d-tea
Member
- Apr 7, 2024
- 98
I bet there probably has been a thread about this at some point but I can't seem to find it.
I don't have any internal drive to change things. I'm not happy or content at the moment, but I also don't want to ctb. I do believe things can get better and I too, can be happy with my life. I am motivated to not get worse because I want the people in my life to be well and I also don't want to feel really bad, again. I am terrified of losing my partner because they wouldn't be able to handle me relapsing. I know I need to get therapy to deal with some stuff I experienced. I went to a first appointment, an evaluation. I never took the next steps necessary to actually get therapy. Where do I get motivation from when I don't actually want any change? It's uncomfortable to call and to even seriously consider doing it and also driving there and talking to anyone, it makes me feel out if place and nervous, it's so discouraging and uncomfortable that I can't be bothered, even though I know this is probably not feasible, long term.
I don't have any internal drive to change things. I'm not happy or content at the moment, but I also don't want to ctb. I do believe things can get better and I too, can be happy with my life. I am motivated to not get worse because I want the people in my life to be well and I also don't want to feel really bad, again. I am terrified of losing my partner because they wouldn't be able to handle me relapsing. I know I need to get therapy to deal with some stuff I experienced. I went to a first appointment, an evaluation. I never took the next steps necessary to actually get therapy. Where do I get motivation from when I don't actually want any change? It's uncomfortable to call and to even seriously consider doing it and also driving there and talking to anyone, it makes me feel out if place and nervous, it's so discouraging and uncomfortable that I can't be bothered, even though I know this is probably not feasible, long term.
