I certainly see ceasing to exist as being the only comfort and relief, in fact I see beauty in preventing suffering and being unaware of everything for all eternity. But for me the problem lies in how suicide is purposely made so inaccessible, I would only look forward to the ctb process if I had a method as peaceful as Nembutal which isn't the reality. And I think that many of those who manage to ctb despite all the difficulties were more determined rather than excited.