Nine0
New Member
- Nov 10, 2025
- 1
I'm so depressed and angry all the time, I know why I am but there's nothing I can do to change it.
My life has been a constant struggle, I was born to a drug addict and ended up getting adopted by an alcoholic with unmedicated bipolar (I'm guessing there's medicine I don't know anything about treatment since my mom doesn't get any.) my daily life for as long as I can remember has been screaming and arguing and crying. I can't really remember a time when we haven't been at each other's throats.
We have such a complicated relationship. I know she loves me but the way she acts doesn't make me feel loved, she'll tell me I'm growing into such a good man and how proud she is of me one day and the next day she'll talk about how horrible I am constantly like iv never done a good thing in my life.
As iv gotten older it's just gotten worse and worse and those occasional good days are practically non existent, I dropped out this year so iv been home constantly and It's just been a living hell. I think the only way I can keep going is if I figure out how to move out but I got my name changed as a minor and my mom never bothered to update any of my documents so I haven't been able to get a ID or a job so I'm just stuck and even though iv tried figuring out how to update things it seems impossible and it's all so confusing and complicated. I barely have the energy to get out of bed most days even if I knew exactly what I was supposed to do anyways.
I don't wanna die but It's getting harder and harder every day to persevere. I feel so alone and I have no one to comfort me anymore. How are you supposed to manage and keep going when you can't change anything? I don't feel very alive.
My life has been a constant struggle, I was born to a drug addict and ended up getting adopted by an alcoholic with unmedicated bipolar (I'm guessing there's medicine I don't know anything about treatment since my mom doesn't get any.) my daily life for as long as I can remember has been screaming and arguing and crying. I can't really remember a time when we haven't been at each other's throats.
We have such a complicated relationship. I know she loves me but the way she acts doesn't make me feel loved, she'll tell me I'm growing into such a good man and how proud she is of me one day and the next day she'll talk about how horrible I am constantly like iv never done a good thing in my life.
As iv gotten older it's just gotten worse and worse and those occasional good days are practically non existent, I dropped out this year so iv been home constantly and It's just been a living hell. I think the only way I can keep going is if I figure out how to move out but I got my name changed as a minor and my mom never bothered to update any of my documents so I haven't been able to get a ID or a job so I'm just stuck and even though iv tried figuring out how to update things it seems impossible and it's all so confusing and complicated. I barely have the energy to get out of bed most days even if I knew exactly what I was supposed to do anyways.
I don't wanna die but It's getting harder and harder every day to persevere. I feel so alone and I have no one to comfort me anymore. How are you supposed to manage and keep going when you can't change anything? I don't feel very alive.
