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sillymafia

sillymafia

im not a violent dog, i dont know why i bite
Feb 24, 2023
11
hii, not sure if this goes here, but i kinda need to ask here since i don't know where else

so little context, im autistic and have social anxiety and had always been bullied because of that (or my weight but its not important to the story rn), its lead to trauma and hating myself and despising being born autistic, but that was school and now im in college, art college, and i thought it would have been a good opportunity to finally learn to not hate myself and stop being so reclusive all the time

but im on my third semester now and i noticed that some 2 girls in my lecture were basically making fun of me and snickering at everything i say
i realized this because i was doodling some characters of my favorite game (its a kids game, i find comfort in kids media a lot as an adult, it helps me cope with stuff) and i saw one of these girls google the game, which made my little autistic ass light up and spark a bit of akward conversation to maybe make a friend, but then i saw she downloaded an image of the characters and sent it to her friend (who was across the classroom) and they kinda replied to each other "HAHAHA NO WAY HAHHA" and stuff like that, and then i saw the girl text "i cant keep talking, shes looking at me right now"
so i was like ....oh.....im an idiot....and theyre making fun of me and not being actually genuine
and then i just kinda spiraled down, wondering if anyone was actually being genuine to me or if im just....too autistic to notice? and now this next class i noticed sometimes i tend to run my mouth and i just so happened to make a comment about a subject that was wrong (i corrected the teacher saiyng some thing in a word doccument should be in italics and i was wrong) and when the teacher said "no it doesnt" i saw from across the room that they were mocking the way i spoke and snickering to each other (they also did the fucking "☝️" motion to kinda reference the erm actually meme i think to mock the way i spoke i guess) and it kinda tore me to pieces and i had to hold my tears because i feel stupid for even talking and making myself a target

and i just feel dumb asking for help also, i just feel like a big idiot and a kid for still being a target even all these years later, and i feel like an idiot for also caring, i asked my mom and she said just ignore them but they were making fun of me before i even knew so it wont really magically stop because i didnt pay attention, and im scared to tell our professor or our councelor because im scared to be told my fear of "youre an adult now, why do you still care about this" and im just....sad

so im resorting to asking you guys in the safety of online anonymity, again, im so sorry if this doesnt go here or if i went too personal with the context and it got a bit venty, i apologize
 
nozomu

nozomu

Global Mod // will i wiN my recovery arc
Nov 28, 2022
1,009
Hi, I'm also autistic. It does make it harder to make friends and such

If it persists in a way that inhibits your educational experience I would bring it up to someone you trust at the uni. Even an adult in a workplace should not tolerate this behavior. Also as long as you relate to it appropriately there's nothing wrong with liking children's media as an adult. I like a few things intended for younger folks

What game is it? ☺️

It is ok to feel hurt by the experience because it is hurtful behavior. Just know that they are beneath you honestly. A person of character would respond with kindness and compassion to a situation like this. Is there a club at your school for video games or animation, or maybe some groups on social media? That might help in making some new friends.

Your mom is right that the best way to deal is to ignore it, but also don't put up with distractions or mistreatment. You can tell the prof or trusted authority figure that you understand not everyone needs to be your friend, but the way they snicker and make fun of you is distracting you from your education and making you upset

Also this is an aside, as for correcting people, it's a neurotypical social etiquette thing to not do that unless it's really serious. Or if it's something that you can bring up after the fact 1:1, or in conversation like "you said X, but I've actually found some interesting papers that discuss Y premise. What do you think of that?" in a way that invites thought and dialogue , instead of coming across like a "know it all." I know you likely didn't mean to so I hope that tip helps you in future classes:)

Worst case, it's April and your semester will be over in May or early June, right?
 
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sillymafia

sillymafia

im not a violent dog, i dont know why i bite
Feb 24, 2023
11
Hi, I'm also autistic. It does make it harder to make friends and such

If it persists in a way that inhibits your educational experience I would bring it up to someone you trust at the uni. Even an adult in a workplace should not tolerate this behavior. Also as long as you relate to it appropriately there's nothing wrong with liking children's media as an adult. I like a few things intended for younger folks

What game is it? ☺️

It is ok to feel hurt by the experience because it is hurtful behavior. Just know that they are beneath you honestly. A person of character would respond with kindness and compassion to a situation like this. Is there a club at your school for video games or animation, or maybe some groups on social media? That might help in making some new friends.

Your mom is right that the best way to deal is to ignore it, but also don't put up with distractions or mistreatment. You can tell the prof or trusted authority figure that you understand not everyone needs to be your friend, but the way they snicker and make fun of you is distracting you from your education and making you upset

Also this is an aside, as for correcting people, it's a neurotypical social etiquette thing to not do that unless it's really serious. Or if it's something that you can bring up after the fact 1:1, or in conversation like "you said X, but I've actually found some interesting papers that discuss Y premise. What do you think of that?" in a way that invites thought and dialogue , instead of coming across like a "know it all." I know you likely didn't mean to so I hope that tip helps you in future classes:)

Worst case, it's April and your semester will be over in May or early June, right?
tysm for repliyng, i do have that pretty bad habit of correcting people or saiyng an idea I have out loud without thinking if its polite

(also the games are the games made by flipline studios, as in the creators of papas Freezeria & etc, i taught myself to draw in the art style of the characters since its really really simple, this time i was drawing the characters of dungeon meshi in the art style because i thought it would be funny and cute)
 
BrainShower

BrainShower

Tiny storm
Nov 7, 2023
202
Some people are absolute assholes. It doesn't stop when you get older. I know people in their 40's who are just as bad as any middle schooler.

The problem is not you. It's them. They are like vampires that feed on other's misfortune.
That's why shows like "My 600 lb. Life" and Jerry Springer are so popular.

These people are actually miserable and just can't admit that to themselves. It is pathetic. I would pity them if they deserved it. But they don't deserve any of our time or effort.

Be kind to yourself, you deserve it. Also, whatever art you enjoy, just remember that somebody makes a living making art like that for people to enjoy. Pretty cool if you ask me!
 
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nozomu

nozomu

Global Mod // will i wiN my recovery arc
Nov 28, 2022
1,009
tysm for repliyng, i do have that pretty bad habit of correcting people or saiyng an idea I have out loud without thinking if its polite

(also the games are the games made by flipline studios, as in the creators of papas Freezeria & etc, i taught myself to draw in the art style of the characters since its really really simple, this time i was drawing the characters of dungeon meshi in the art style because i thought it would be funny and cute)
That does sound cute. I really like dunmeshi too.

I think if you find an animation, anime/manga, or video game club at school, it can help you make friends

Also if you have access to therapy, it might help to go to learn social skills to relate to neurotypical people. It helped me a bit. I'm not ashamed of my autism or anything like that but it can just help you learn the "different rules" nt people operate under.
 
lemonbunny

lemonbunny

daydreaming the pain away ☆.。.:*・°
Sep 9, 2023
132
ur not an idiot for any of the things u mentioned!! those girls are bullies. unfortunately the mean girls never really go away, i thought i'd be free from them after high school but they're still there in college and beyond. people who aren't used to paying consequences for their actions will rarely change.

also i love flipline studios games <3 u sound like a really cool person and u didn't deserve any of that. ur not the problem, they are. i'm sorry i don't have better advice to offer since i just grit my teeth and bore it throughout school
 
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TheLastGreySky

TheLastGreySky

Experienced
Nov 24, 2023
219
It can be hard at times, I'm also autistic btw. As an artist myself I get one of two responses even people think it's really cool... Or they think it's really weird. At the end of the day you have to be true to yourself, and realistically if people weren't snickering about you they would be snickering about someone else. Everyone thinks they're better than someone else, but do your best to work on yourself image and motivate yourself and try not to let it bother you.

If you ever want to message me you have my permission.
 
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Duckup

Duckup

Member
Aug 28, 2019
22
Have fun with it or else it's gonna be the perpetual damnation of: think you've lost (you won, humility being the grandest lesson, assuming there's time to capitalize [not necessarily monetarily] on it), letting them think they won (the short game), and condemning them to misery by kneeling to a jester that will get, at best, themselves bonked or, at worst, dooming "lessers" foolish enough to listen to them to their deaths, effectively, making you the selfish conflict-avoidant conservationist (of everlasting hardship).
Also, women (read : rightbrainers; the limbically oriented; egos; not the gender but the attitude) fish for intellectual advancements by ANY means necessary, due to the inherit danger of existence as them (yes yes girls [not the gender, again] run the world and all - if you don't count dark alleys in cannibal infested waters as the world, which they are - and the sea level's rising).
So - learn to forgive. They will appreciate it (despite what their body language may suggest) - and recoil, for "satan only fears jesus" (fuckwads fear the everyman's everyman).
If this reaches you, do not get carried away with it!
 
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AlexYaBoy

AlexYaBoy

The Lord of Dribblers
Mar 11, 2024
16
hii, not sure if this goes here, but i kinda need to ask here since i don't know where else

so little context, im autistic and have social anxiety and had always been bullied because of that (or my weight but its not important to the story rn), its lead to trauma and hating myself and despising being born autistic, but that was school and now im in college, art college, and i thought it would have been a good opportunity to finally learn to not hate myself and stop being so reclusive all the time

but im on my third semester now and i noticed that some 2 girls in my lecture were basically making fun of me and snickering at everything i say
i realized this because i was doodling some characters of my favorite game (its a kids game, i find comfort in kids media a lot as an adult, it helps me cope with stuff) and i saw one of these girls google the game, which made my little autistic ass light up and spark a bit of akward conversation to maybe make a friend, but then i saw she downloaded an image of the characters and sent it to her friend (who was across the classroom) and they kinda replied to each other "HAHAHA NO WAY HAHHA" and stuff like that, and then i saw the girl text "i cant keep talking, shes looking at me right now"
so i was like ....oh.....im an idiot....and theyre making fun of me and not being actually genuine
and then i just kinda spiraled down, wondering if anyone was actually being genuine to me or if im just....too autistic to notice? and now this next class i noticed sometimes i tend to run my mouth and i just so happened to make a comment about a subject that was wrong (i corrected the teacher saiyng some thing in a word doccument should be in italics and i was wrong) and when the teacher said "no it doesnt" i saw from across the room that they were mocking the way i spoke and snickering to each other (they also did the fucking "☝️" motion to kinda reference the erm actually meme i think to mock the way i spoke i guess) and it kinda tore me to pieces and i had to hold my tears because i feel stupid for even talking and making myself a target

and i just feel dumb asking for help also, i just feel like a big idiot and a kid for still being a target even all these years later, and i feel like an idiot for also caring, i asked my mom and she said just ignore them but they were making fun of me before i even knew so it wont really magically stop because i didnt pay attention, and im scared to tell our professor or our councelor because im scared to be told my fear of "youre an adult now, why do you still care about this" and im just....sad

so im resorting to asking you guys in the safety of online anonymity, again, im so sorry if this doesnt go here or if i went too personal with the context and it got a bit venty, i apologize
Those types of people never developed their character. They'll remain stagnant, throughout their lives. Try to remember that, if somebody's bullying you, it's because their lives are over, already. They're very much dead inside. They've a very linear world-view. They lack understanding of the wider world around them, including the concept of compassion. They're...how you say...stupid. Not ignorant, just very stupid. You, on the other hand, can think for yourself. You've developed as a person, AND you're lone-wolfing it. Not easy to do. In short, screw 'em. Not worth your time. Just bullies.

To summarise, just ignore them. It's a learned behaviour. It'll take time. Eventually, you'll laugh about their behaviour.

PS: Try not to stress about what the teacher said. Probably didn't expect a correction, is all. To actually ask a subject-related question during class, which not many do especially while being bullied, and to deal with the fallout like a reasonable adult? You've a bright future, my guy.
 
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Apathy79

Apathy79

Specialist
Oct 13, 2019
387
Also this is an aside, as for correcting people, it's a neurotypical social etiquette thing to not do that unless it's really serious. Or if it's something that you can bring up after the fact 1:1, or in conversation like "you said X, but I've actually found some interesting papers that discuss Y premise. What do you think of that?" in a way that invites thought and dialogue , instead of coming across like a "know it all." I know you likely didn't mean to so I hope that tip helps you in future classes:)
Couldn't have put this any better. I hope you continue to speak up and get your confidence back. I'm sure most of the class would too. This sort of approach will help with that.

As for the 2 girls doing what they're doing, it's middle school nonsense. They just haven't grown up yet. It says more about them than it does about you.
 
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