I suppose personally, I saw that what I was striving for may not end up being as good as I thought it was. That helped me to accept and feel more content with where I was/ am. That depends on your circumstances of course.
But, I suppose I thought- ok- you achieve the things you want in life. Do you really think you'll be happy then? For me- that would have meant climbing higher in my career. But- that in turn would have meant working in an industry where 16 hour days aren't uncommon. I've even known people who have climbed that high say they were treated really poorly. Plus, it would likely mean moving all over the country. None of those things would ultimately make me happy.
It means I would have had to work with others which tends to decimate my confidence. Perhaps exposure to it would have numbed that in the end but I have an incredible recall for remembering insults! And they still partly crush me when I remember them.
Maybe I would have made more friends. I'm very isolated now. But, given how unreliable friendships have been in the past and how much it has hurt to lose them, I don't have much faith in them either!
So- I guess that's how I do it. I feel like the whole 'things getting better' may be a bit of a fallacy long-term (for me). Life is very good at presenting us with new problems. Plus- if you do it. If you make big changes in life- I've started over a few times in life now- it doesn't always work. If you don't put in the effort to change problematic mind sets, all your old problems come back to haunt you.
That's the other major thing. Recovery takes enormous effort, enormous disipline and staying power. Plus, it likely exposes us to the things we fear the most. eg. Social anxiety likely needs to be cured by being social. So- it also depends on what you're still willing and feel you have the energy and coping skills to put yourself through. I've pretty much told myself I'm going to spare myself all that discomfort now. I've tried it before and it didn't help. Why keep on when I don't believe in it?
