Discussion How the fuck do you choose where you’re going to kill yourself?

[traingirl]

Well, I decided to pick my guns up from my friends house and told her a lie that I needed to sell them. I'm going to get them Monday. I think I'm ready to CTB finally but I don't know where. I don't want my dad to find me. I don't want my friend to find me. I might find a secluded spot somewhere but that requires thinking skills which I do not have right now because my brain is fuzzy after my ketamine treatment. It's hard to choose a place. I don't want to drag anyone into my shit but realistically, I'm going to have to find a place. Don't want a hotel because they will quickly find you. I'm just rambling here. Don't mind me. My head hurts. I vomited up all my dinner earlier. I wish I hadn't have gotten a 357 magnum because it's overkill but it's too late now and I don't have the money for another gun to spare.

 

[whosready4tmrw]

If you can. I think the outdoors is the best place. Find a secluded forest or mountain, enjoy a quick little hike, then reassume yourself into the earth.

Sounds nice :)

 

[J&L383]

Eventually a deceased body will be found. And someone will be traumatized even if the authorities find it. Unless, perhaps, the body is in the vicinity of carcass-eating wildlife.

 

[Hystearical]

Ideally (so to speak, of course) if you are going to shoot yourself you would go to some relatively secluded spot, lay out a tarp, call emergency services and say you want to report your suicide and give a description of your location then hang up. Then shoot yourself and they'll be able to locate you based off the GPS and your description.

Since gun suicides are one of the few that lend themselves to postmortem tissue and organ donation you could also pick a spot near a trauma center somewhere.

Of course this all requires that you have the wherewithal to shoot yourself immediately after placing the call. Which is hardly a given.

Do you want to talk about what's going on?

 

[traingirl]

Eventually a deceased body will be found. And someone will be traumatized even if the authorities find it. Unless, perhaps, the body is in the vicinity of carcass-eating wildlife.

I know. To be honest, I don't care if the authorities find it. Or anyone that's a stranger. I don't want to traumatize anyone but I care the most about my family and friends. Maybe that's selfish of me for not even caring about other people.

 

[Liebestod]

Honestly .357 magnum isn't overkill imo. I think it's just about right and I'm using a 10mm which is equal in power to a .357 magnum. Have you thought about driving to a secured area or an empty parking lot and doing it in your car? Cause that would work. Or lock yourself in the bathroom of a hotel. Plus the odds are in your favor that you'll die immediately on the spot.

 

[traingirl]

Ideally (so to speak, of course) if you are going to shoot yourself you would go to some relatively secluded spot, lay out a tarp, call emergency services and say you want to report your suicide and give a description of your location then hang up. Then shoot yourself and they'll be able to locate you based off the GPS and your description.

Since gun suicides are one of the few that lend themselves to postmortem tissue and organ donation you could also pick a spot near a trauma center somewhere.

Of course this all requires that you have the wherewithal to shoot yourself immediately after placing the call. Which is hardly a given.

Do you want to talk about what's going on?

I don't know that I would do that because I probably wouldn't have the wherewithal to immediately do it after calling 911 which would just result in more trauma for me. I've been struggling for months. I'm trying to get off offending medications that have caused me to be suicidal but I still feel bad tapering them. It seems like it's going to be impossible based on all the horror stories I have heard. I have a lot of trauma. I lost my mom to suicide. It's all coming back to me and it's an emotional pain like no other. I just want to be done with it.

Honestly .357 magnum isn't overkill imo. I think it's just about right and I'm using a 10mm which is equal in power to a .357 magnum. Have you thought about driving to a secured area or an empty parking lot and doing it in your car? Cause that would work. Or lock yourself in the bathroom of a hotel. Plus the odds are in your favor that you'll die immediately on the spot.

I think I like the hotel idea the best. Or an Airbnb. I'll just have to convince my dad I'm staying overnight with a friend. They have the resources to clean up after it. My dad doesn't and I wouldn't want to do that to him.

 

[Hystearical]

I don't know that I would do that because I probably wouldn't have the wherewithal to immediately do it after calling 911 which would just result in more trauma for me. I've been struggling for months. I'm trying to get off offending medications that have caused me to be suicidal but I still feel bad tapering them. It seems like it's going to be impossible based on all the horror stories I have heard. I have a lot of trauma. I lost my mom to suicide. It's all coming back to me and it's an emotional pain like no other. I just want to be done with it.

I agree that there would be too much pressure to carry it out.

What does your psychiatrist say? Are you doing it with one's supervision? The tapering process can be very painful but there usually is a light at the end of that particular tunnel.

I'm sorry about your loss even if it may have been a long time ago. It sounds like nothing has ever effectively soothed that wound along with the other traumas.

If you need to talk you can always write me if you want.

 

[NearlyIrrelevantCake]

I think I like the hotel idea the best. Or an Airbnb. I'll just have to convince my dad I'm staying overnight with a friend. They have the resources to clean up after it. My dad doesn't and I wouldn't want to do that to him.

I would suggest a hotel over an AirBnB, which is just some regular person's house.

 

[traingirl]

I agree that there would be too much pressure to carry it out.

What does your psychiatrist say? Are you doing it with one's supervision? The tapering process can be very painful but there usually is a light at the end of that particular tunnel.

I'm sorry about your loss even if it may have been a long time ago. It sounds like nothing has ever effectively soothed that wound along with the other traumas.

If you need to talk you can always write me if you want.

He just said to cut it in half and then go off. It's too quick. He's not really much help. I get horrible violent intrusive thoughts tapering off towards others that I would never go through with. The ones towards myself I would.

I would suggest a hotel over an AirBnB, which is just some regular person's house.

Not always. Sometimes it's a realtor's side project lol.