I have both of them. Some of my fears are rational but others are irrational.
First the irrational: I have extreme anxiety to fail an exam. Even if I am extremely good prepared I think the likelihood of failing was high. My anxiety can extremely easily be triggered. Having to prove performance triggers a lot of my mental problems. The root for that is my childhood abuse. I have a very sick relationship to performance pressure. It is completely irrational but my brain thinks if I fail an exam that my life would end. I really think that this mechanism was established by the abuse. And in such situations my SI is more or less triggered. There are theories why people develop psychosis and this is one explanation. If a person is locked in a situation with no escape and the person can't cope the basic primitive instincts of a person are activated. The mind is more or less in a survival mode because it thinks the life is at stake. But it does not work properly. It is in reality a counterproductive state. A failure of the system. There are other explanations and every individual has its own explanations. But for me personally this fits.
Another thing which is kind of irrational I am not really scared about WW3. I think if this happens the weak in the societies would probably suffer the most as in all crises. There are several reasons why I am not scared. I am kind of fatalistic about it. If it happens I had no influence. I can't blame me when it happens. At the end of my life I want to look back at it (when I probably ctb) and I want to tell in all honesty that I did not screw it up. I hope this would comfort me even a little bit in my last seconds on earth.
Of course I also have rational fears and sorrows. I worry daily how I shall get a stable income, how me the nervous wreck can find a job. The likelihood is very low. And I am worryingabout that every single day a lot. I think this is quite rational. Maybe other people could enjoy the present time more. I always think solely about the future. What will probably happen to me. I think it is really rational to be scared about the future. When my parents die so will I. I think when they die I will commit suicide maybe even earlier. I am just not stable enough to manage my life all alone. I could move to to such apartments for mentally ill. There they give you help. I have heard horrible stories about that. Many thiefs and insane people there. I don't want to live such a life. I think suicide is awaiting me in the future. I am scared about what will drive me to it. I think the worst is yet to come. Espcially my financial future is almost completely hopeless.Only with very naive fanatasies I can maintain some hope.
I worry I will never find a partner. But I sometimes I have given up on that. I am not ready to accept that fully. If you are already fucked in life there is never a real rock bottom. There is always a worse. I was also very scared to fail at a suicide attempt and surviving it with damage. In these situations it was better not to act on it. I had no real idea and the likelihood of failing would have been way too high. I don't want to gamble on that. Statistics prove the vast majority of suicide attempts fail. If I do it I really want to make it save. So failing a suicide attempt is really rational in my opinion
First the irrational: I have extreme anxiety to fail an exam. Even if I am extremely good prepared I think the likelihood of failing was high. My anxiety can extremely easily be triggered. Having to prove performance triggers a lot of my mental problems. The root for that is my childhood abuse. I have a very sick relationship to performance pressure. It is completely irrational but my brain thinks if I fail an exam that my life would end. I really think that this mechanism was established by the abuse. And in such situations my SI is more or less triggered. There are theories why people develop psychosis and this is one explanation. If a person is locked in a situation with no escape and the person can't cope the basic primitive instincts of a person are activated. The mind is more or less in a survival mode because it thinks the life is at stake. But it does not work properly. It is in reality a counterproductive state. A failure of the system. There are other explanations and every individual has its own explanations. But for me personally this fits.
Another thing which is kind of irrational I am not really scared about WW3. I think if this happens the weak in the societies would probably suffer the most as in all crises. There are several reasons why I am not scared. I am kind of fatalistic about it. If it happens I had no influence. I can't blame me when it happens. At the end of my life I want to look back at it (when I probably ctb) and I want to tell in all honesty that I did not screw it up. I hope this would comfort me even a little bit in my last seconds on earth.
Of course I also have rational fears and sorrows. I worry daily how I shall get a stable income, how me the nervous wreck can find a job. The likelihood is very low. And I am worryingabout that every single day a lot. I think this is quite rational. Maybe other people could enjoy the present time more. I always think solely about the future. What will probably happen to me. I think it is really rational to be scared about the future. When my parents die so will I. I think when they die I will commit suicide maybe even earlier. I am just not stable enough to manage my life all alone. I could move to to such apartments for mentally ill. There they give you help. I have heard horrible stories about that. Many thiefs and insane people there. I don't want to live such a life. I think suicide is awaiting me in the future. I am scared about what will drive me to it. I think the worst is yet to come. Espcially my financial future is almost completely hopeless.Only with very naive fanatasies I can maintain some hope.
I worry I will never find a partner. But I sometimes I have given up on that. I am not ready to accept that fully. If you are already fucked in life there is never a real rock bottom. There is always a worse. I was also very scared to fail at a suicide attempt and surviving it with damage. In these situations it was better not to act on it. I had no real idea and the likelihood of failing would have been way too high. I don't want to gamble on that. Statistics prove the vast majority of suicide attempts fail. If I do it I really want to make it save. So failing a suicide attempt is really rational in my opinion
