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I know that feeling. My mother never knew I was in love and that later I was heartbroken. She couldn't even guess it and I was (still am) good at hiding my feelings and emotions - years of practice cuz my mom and my sister aren't people you can share such things with, so everything was burried somewhere in the back of my mind, holding everything inside. And my father was never in the picture. My grades were both good and bad but around these parts of the world school grades are no indication of anything going on, so no one was the wiser something was wrong.
The pandemic was pretty recent, that means you're still young. Try living with low self-esteem (because of all the girls from kindergarden until university cuz all of them kept telling me I was ugly and no woman would want me) for 40 years. You'll get used to it eventually. To the point you wouldn't care anymore and/or, like me, stop trusting people almost entirely.
I doubt it bro too young4
When I was 4, I saw a homeless man walk into a wall, fall down and have a seizure while blood gushed down his forehead. He was likely having an epileptic fit. Of course I didn't know any of this back then. Back then, my 4 y.o. brain's assumption was, "this is what happens to poor people." Mind you, while we weren't poor ourselves, we were still lower middle-class. I fell sick for three days and missed kindergarten. I also remember feeling scared and guilty for some reason, so I didn't tell my parents what was bothering me that got me sick; as an introvert, I internalised everything.
