How often have you thought about ctb today?

[BlazingBob]

Just curious. I think about it all the time.

 

[sewycidial]

these past 2 weeks everyday

 

[Dingusguy]

Most of the the day, today's been shit

 

[donsie]

Every second of every minute, every minute of every hour. I just want to pull the trigger!

 

[MeaningDork]

Just curious. I think about it all the time.

Almost all day. I'm constantly researching CTB methods.

 

[Lost Magic]

Yes, I wrote a recent post about how I wake up every day with a deep feeling of not wanting to be here. My core is telling me that my life sucks.

 

[Seered Doom]

It keeps me up at night and I can barely tolerate being both awake or asleep due to it

 

[kunikuzushi]

First thought when I woke up, and it hasn't left

 

[Novacaine]

It is often the first thought in my head waking up.

 

[jbear824]

I think about it everyday, throughout the day. Today was no different.

 

[MatrixPrisoner]

Well, let's see here...

60 seconds in every minute x 60 minutes every hour x 13.5 hours of being awake...

 

[F@#$]

" I want to die " or something similar is a constant mantra in my head.

 

[Chronicoverwhelm]

Every minute of every day and even in my sleep.

 

[onemorenight]

First thought when I wake up, last thought before I go to sleep, and everything in between. It's the only thing that makes me feel happy/calm/safe.

Knowing that it'll all be over, soon. Soon, I won't have to feel this pain anymore. I won't have to feel anything anymore.

 

[TransientEternal]

Yes

 

[rozeske]

It used to not be as much when I had stuff to keep my mind of off it. But nowadays it's the first thing in my mind when I open my eyes, and the last thing before I go to sleep and everything else in between.

 

[passivethought121]

An uncountable amount. If I am not constantly engaged or extremely focused I default to this.

 

[FuneralCry]

I'm always wishing for the peace of non-existence no matter what. Simply just being conscious and aware makes the thought of an dreamless, eternal sleep sound so incredibly appealing. No matter what I'd always see it as better to not exist, existence itself is the problem, it could never be something desirable. Existence is futile, burdensome and hellish with unlimited potential for harm and suffering, it terrifies me how a human can potentially exist for so long, I see suicide as the logical solution to escape from this meaningless existence.

 

[TheSpookyNameGuy]

I've been gloomy today but haven't actually thought about dying, of course I've slept most of today away.

Daily for me though, it's the eventual peace that soothes me, the void.

 

[Alpercino]

Every damn millisecond this week its beyond crazy why i am not actually doing something. Someone order all the stuff needed for SN for me ....

 

[Nyotei]

Thoughts of ctb have become my default state of mind. Instead of getting bored and doing something else, I immediately think about ctb.

 

[aGoodDayToDie]

The vast majority of the day. Like most days. I'm always looking for something to distract me. But such distractions are rare and short lived. Today I've been awake for 7.5 hours so far. And maybe I've distracted myself for 10-20 minutes in total. Life is so damned painful.

 

[butterfly000]

I have been thinking about CTB everyday. I'm not really aware when I'm not thinking about CTB. It has become more of a passive thought. Although sometimes when things get tense I actively think about CTB.

 

[outrider567]

Just curious. I think about it all the time.

Same here, all the time, every day

 

[stuckinthemud]

Virtually all day, every day.

 

[Abyssal]

Right now I can't tell. I think my previous attempt left my brain in a state of shock and now I'm just in no man's land.

 

[Final_Choice]

Generally all-day every-day. It's the one constant thought in my mind.

 

[slightoverlooked]

honestly not that much the last couple of days. i think about it every day but on some days it doesn't bother me. but today i ate lots of food and as someone with an ed all on my mind currently is to ctb bc I'm gonna weight from this. i hate it. i just want to die

 

[wanttodie]

I think about it everyday, 24 =7

 

[BlockHammer]

For this past weeks, it's not that often because i'm trying to learn new language and im excited for that. But im not sure if next month will be the same, cause i might thing about ctb more often if i still haven't got a job yet