cap

cap

Aporia
Oct 19, 2018
48
I think of it every single day. How about you guys?
 
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Retched

Retched

I see the chaos in your eyes.
Oct 8, 2018
837
I'm obsessed with it. Not going to lie. For a few months now.
 
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C

Circles

Visionary
Sep 3, 2018
2,297
I think of it every single day. How about you guys?
Same, I think about it everyday cause I always wonder what's the point in trying. I literally have to fight inside my head just to block out the suicidal thoughts which takes a lot of energy and effort for some small peace of mind.
 
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Retched

Retched

I see the chaos in your eyes.
Oct 8, 2018
837
Same, I think about it everyday cause I always wonder what's the point in trying. I literally have to fight inside my head just to block out the suicidal thoughts which takes a lot of energy and effort for some small peace of mind.
It always goes to the back of my mind and pokes at the front of my mind. It's hard. I know what you are saying here.
 
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C

Circles

Visionary
Sep 3, 2018
2,297
It always goes to the back of my mind and pokes at the front of my mind. It's hard. I know what you are saying here.
Words just cannot describe how my brain goes into a state of limbo so to speak. Just as what's under my name: there's a difference between existing and living. Like I'm just walking through life foggy aimlessly not knowing anything about being human and feel so overwhelmed by it all.
 
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worldexploder

worldexploder

Visionary
Sep 19, 2018
2,821
All day everyday.
 
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TheGoodGuy

TheGoodGuy

Visionary
Aug 27, 2018
2,999
I have thought about it every day since I was 14 so that is over 10 years now.
 
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V

Voldmort

Experienced
Sep 23, 2018
287
generally everyday, but sometimes i forget i am suicidal for some days or just hours
 
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B

Battered_Seoul

Experienced
Jun 13, 2018
253
Everyday.

It boggles my mind that the world is comprised of billions of sentient organic Things dreaming within skulls that are themselves encased within rotting meat and completely at the mercy of chance, mortality and chaos. How are the majority OK with this? Why isn't everyone in a state of terror all day every day?

Blows my mind. Benzo withdrawal probably isn't helping.
 
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Prime

Prime

A Nihilist
Oct 25, 2018
210
Words just cannot describe how my brain goes into a state of limbo so to speak. Just as what's under my name: there's a difference between existing and living. Like I'm just walking through life foggy aimlessly not knowing anything about being human and feel so overwhelmed by it all.
I relate.
 
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Prime

Prime

A Nihilist
Oct 25, 2018
210
It sucks when you think of it 24*7. You plan everything. You think through everything. You have the note ready. You double check your "apparatus". Wait for the time when you are home alone. Attempt. Fail. Then repeat all over again. It sucks.
 
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dysfunctional

dysfunctional

Arcanist
Oct 26, 2018
459
75% of the time
 
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Fucking loving it

Fucking loving it

Specialist
Sep 3, 2018
378
I'm obsessed. I think of it A LOT.
 
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sadsoul

sadsoul

Alive and unwell
Sep 9, 2018
440
Almost every day of 2018. The good thing is that you get so used to the thought of suicide that you're not that scared of attempting anymore. Attempting becomes almost a normal thing that you do from time to time.
 
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Prime

Prime

A Nihilist
Oct 25, 2018
210
Almost every day of 2018. The good thing is that you get so used to the thought of suicide that you're not that scared of attempting anymore. Attempting becomes almost a normal thing that you do from time to time.
True. It becomes a "routine" thing to do. Like buying eggs from the grocery store. You do it every week !
 
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Susannah

Susannah

Mage
Jul 2, 2018
530
First thing I think about when I wake up. Before sleeping, I always play with different ways to die. It makes me calm and happy.
 
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Cee

Cee

cute girl
Sep 22, 2018
81
constantly. only time im not thinking of it is when im distracted by something else, but thats all it is. a distraction.
 
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F

Fellow

Member
Oct 26, 2018
23
All the time.
 
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Empty Smile

Empty Smile

The final Bell has rung. Goodbye to all.
Jul 13, 2018
1,785
I could be so focused on doing something, and there is ALWAYS that thought there. It's not a day by day thing for me, it's a minute by minute thing.

It comes to me as normal as breathing.
 
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Retched

Retched

I see the chaos in your eyes.
Oct 8, 2018
837
I could be so focused on doing something, and there is ALWAYS that thought there. It's not a day by day thing for me, it's a minute by minute thing.

It comes to me as normal as breathing.
I feel this way too. At work, at home. Everywhere.
 
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Jen Erik

Jen Erik

-
Oct 12, 2018
637
A few times an hour, at least.
 
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Jai

Jai

Specialist
Sep 23, 2018
384
I think of it every single day. How about you guys?
The second I wake till the second ( if I'm lucky ) sleep not just CTB but death
 
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Jai

Jai

Specialist
Sep 23, 2018
384
The second I wake till the second ( if I'm lucky ) sleep not just CTB but death
Woke up 6 hrs ago and must've gone through a million scenarios
 
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Kim

Kim

Daydreamer
Sep 18, 2018
156
Everyday....
 
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cupio dissolvi

cupio dissolvi

Member
Oct 20, 2018
48
Having obsessive-compulsive disorder, I know thinking about ctb acts as a compulsion to me: it's the only thing that calms me down. That, or hoping for something that's never going to happen. So yeah, given that I obsess pretty much all day everyday...
 
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Ashpac

Ashpac

Lost and always will be.
Jul 22, 2018
795
Everyday from 2003 until last week. 15 Years of pure mental torture. Towards the end I would fantasise about me dying for hours every day and picturing my funeral and how my family would react to it.
 
Last edited:
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About_to_Go

About_to_Go

It deepens like a coastal shelf
Mar 20, 2018
303
I can't remember a day when I didn't think about it.
 
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jaemus12

jaemus12

Earth’s Parasite
May 11, 2018
562
Daily. But it pisses me off because I'm kind of nervous about it too. It makes me feel even more useless than I already am because I can't even grow the balls to do it.

Someone just kill me please.
 
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