How often do you think about suicide?

[KiraLittleOwl]

I kinda think about out ALL the time, I can't help
My SN was shipped and I have meto
From time to time I am trying to strangle myself but I can't

 

[Rachel74]

At least once a day but I won't dwell on it.

 

[Sweet emotion]

Pretty much all day.

 

[Darkhaven]

Not a single day goes by without thinking of it.
And excluding the 8 hours or so i'm sleeping it's always on my mind. As long as i'm conscious it's always there.
This has been going on for more than a year now.
Plain psychological torture.

 

[falconeyes]

Daily, and most of the time when i get alone

 

[KiraLittleOwl]

Not a single day goes by without thinking of it.
And excluding the 8 hours or so i'm sleeping it's always on my mind. As long as i'm conscious it's always there.
This has been going on for more than a year now.
Plain psychological torture.

Yes, sleep is a bless if you don't have nightmares.

 

[Crushed_Innocence]

Now that Im bedridden its a constant song to soothe myself... I long for that moment soooo bad. To put a checkmark on each item on my final to do list, until the time comes to take those last breaths into darkness..in sleep.into eternal peace. No more suffering. No more lonliness, No more shame. No more being sad and alone in a big scary fast paced uncaring cruel unfair world.

 

[Lilith81]

All the time

 

[Elias]

Daily checkups on my plan, personally. Sometimes I get hit by strong urges, kinda forces me to think about it like a longing or craving. Sometimes it's kept at bay, I can lose myself into the moment with friends or whatever helps me temporarily. But it's always in the background, an idea that ironically won't die until I do too.

 

[AngelOfDeath01]

There isn't a single day that I pass without thinking of suiciding. When I wake up the first thing in my head is why didn't I just die in my sleep and when I sleep my last thought is I must CTB tomorrow. I have dealt with intrusive obsessive thoughts before but this is a bit different. I feel like I am not fighting with the idea of suicide anymore. I am becoming more peaceful and serene about it.

 

[Swoods]

All day, every day.

 

[Timetoleave]

All day everyday

 

[JimFord99]

Usually, first thing in the morning when I wake up, and then when I go to bed at night. Between that, not at all.

 

[Timetoleave]

All day everyday

Just waiting for my SN and Meto

 

[falconeyes]

Usually, first thing in the morning when I wake up, and then when I go to bed at night. Between that, not at all.

That's a good sign, wish you get rid off it completely

 

[k75]

It's constant, and I hate it. I can't control it, and it's almost obsessive at times. I don't even get relief when I'm sleeping anymore. The thoughts morph into nightmares.

 

[DoNotLet2]

Emmm everyday I guess Sometimes it's not intense, sometimes it's very intense.

 

[JimFord99]

Emmm everyday I guess Sometimes it's not intense, sometimes it's very intense.

Yeah, depends how occupied the mind is, I reckon.

 

[DoNotLet2]

Well, if the things I need to do are going smoothly I am fine but when I'm failing then the hell breaks loose...

 

[takeyourshotfunboy]

Usually, first thing in the morning when I wake up, and then when I go to bed at night. Between that, not at all.

You still have hope. That's good.
Every. Fucking. Day. It's always in the back of my mind. Minor inconvenience? Boom, instant urges to self harm and/or CTB.

 

[JimFord99]

You still have hope. That's good.
Every. Fucking. Day. It's always in the back of my mind. Minor inconvenience? Boom, instant urges to self harm and/or CTB.

This is not a matter of hope, I am afraid. between waking up and going to sleep my mind is getting distracted.

 

[takeyourshotfunboy]

There isn't a single day that I pass without thinking of suiciding. When I wake up the first thing in my head is why didn't I just die in my sleep and when I sleep my last thought is I must CTB tomorrow. I have dealt with intrusive obsessive thoughts before but this is a bit different. I feel like I am not fighting with the idea of suicide anymore. I am becoming more peaceful and serene about it.

EXACTLY. Every day I wake up wishing that I didn't.

 

[a_strange_day]

All day ,everyday. It's like it's part of me now.

 

[MeltingHeart]

Virtually continuously - small window when I'm asleep- then I wake up and the nightmare begins . If my SN hadn't been found I prob wouldn't be here now. I have had ALOT of regrets in my life & now I can definitely add the fact my SN got taken to that list. I'm too shit scared to do other methods - and when have mentioned this to those that know I want to ctb- they just come out with the old classic " oh that proves I had some hope , that shows you don't really want to die " which is crap. I'm just to much of a coward & SI is so so powerful - that I find it hard to wrap my brain around the fact that people over come it. Hopefully eventually I will. As will now have to go with a scarier (for me) method .

 

[Dreamwithinadream]

Multiple times a day. Sometimes I even dream of it.

 

[passenger27]

Every breath feels like death to me. There's never a second I don't think about suicide.

 

[SinisterKid]

It very much depends on what type of day I am having. I only know that when I wake up each morning due to the nature of health. If its a bad day, ideation is rampant mostly, but I have learnt to cope with it. If its a decent/good day, then its only when I am alone that I tend to think too much, thats when distraction is my friend.

I tend to think that it is now a part of my life. A drug addict is always a drug addict, a alcoholic is always a alcoholic, suicide will always be with me now, unless something drastically changes, which I very much doubt. Depression will also likely end up being around for the long haul as well, although right now, I am in a better head space than I have been for about a year.

 

[bluesky1972-2019]

Everyday I think about it. Now I have my SN and Meto it's just a matter of time. But in a way it's comforting knowing I can leave this place when I choose.

 

[greenlight]

Every day

 

[tom90]

All the time...