erehbus

erehbus

Member
Oct 1, 2019
27
I also think about it every single day (except when I am in hipomania, but this has not happened since I started taking mood stabilizers). However, it is not always the same.

There are days the thought is there, but I know I won't actually do it, and there are days that all I want is to die. Suicide Ideation has been my companion for the last 12 years, but not always that translated to actually wanting to end it all in the spot instead of just planning or hoping.
 
Fragile

Fragile

Broken
Jul 7, 2019
1,496
i haven't had a day in over 10 years without the constant thought of suicide.

only drugs help, but even then i'm still thinking about it, only in a "happier" and accepting way, as if i had made peace with the idea. then i wake up sober and feel the exact opposite, frustration and sadnes overwhelm me.
 
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GreyClouds

GreyClouds

Member
Oct 24, 2019
21
Most of the day, really.
 
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TheNorthernSilence

TheNorthernSilence

Arcanist
Nov 13, 2018
430
It's a daily thing now for me.
 
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Nem

Nem

Drs suck mega ass!
Sep 3, 2018
1,489
SUICIDE!!!!!!!'
I would say quite often
Peace/hugs
 
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Dannyboy

Dannyboy

Member
Oct 19, 2019
25
Alot, 5 times a day atleast. it varies alot, but it`s always there.
 
H

Hotsackage

Enlightened
Mar 11, 2019
1,027
Alall the time but i have no way to do it
 
T

truthseeker

Student
Sep 9, 2019
123
Daily and often the last couple of years.
 
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woxihuanni

woxihuanni

Illuminated
Aug 19, 2019
3,299
It's always on my mind, the awareness that I may have to go any day. It's like my entire life is spent in a literal bus station, or airport, clutching a ticket, fearing every announcement.
 
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I

iF3arD3atH

New Member
Oct 23, 2019
4
Without my weed it is a constant struggle with thoughts. I smoke so I can distract myself. But in the last couple days I've had none and have been pacing and emotional at all times, not sleeping and really starting to solidify my plans as I see no way out except by my own hand.

tl;dr
suicidal thoughts w weed = a few times a day.
Suicidal thoughts w/o weed = constant
 
lostangel

lostangel

Enlightened
Mar 22, 2019
1,051
Many times during the day. Almost constant. I am obsessed with taking my own life.
 
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Le_lacrime_di_marzo

Le_lacrime_di_marzo

Straight up not having a good time
Oct 8, 2019
11
Every day all day!
 
N

neilo99

Tired of Life
Oct 9, 2019
182
Seems to be my 1st thought when I wake up each day
 
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C

cookiedough

Member
Oct 25, 2019
45
Constantly. All day. Every day. I attempt partial suspension nearly every night. But I fail because I can't take the pain and I've failed to hit the spot that makes me pass out. I almost blacked out once but my reflexes kicked in and I pushed myself upright. I'll just keep trying until I succeed I guess. I don't have access to any of the chemicals that could kill you. They are so hard to get a hold of in the US. There are no really tall buildings where I live. I just want death everyday, but I've found no successful way out.
 
kerokeroka

kerokeroka

Kerokero:8068 我正在学习中文, 我虽然不擅长..
Oct 3, 2019
20
everyday at this point, its getting to a point where im starting to visualize holding an actual rifle to my head and firing when in the past this would have scared me.
 

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