• Hey Guest,

    We wanted to share a quick update with the community.

    Our public expense ledger is now live, allowing anyone to see how donations are used to support the ongoing operation of the site.

    👉 View the ledger here

    Over the past year, increased regulatory pressure in multiple regions like UK OFCOM and Australia's eSafety has led to higher operational costs, including infrastructure, security, and the need to work with more specialized service providers to keep the site online and stable.

    If you value the community and would like to help support its continued operation, donations are greatly appreciated. If you wish to donate via Bank Transfer or other options, please open a ticket.

    Donate via cryptocurrency:

    Bitcoin (BTC):
    Ethereum (ETH):
    Monero (XMR):
W

Widow39

Student
Aug 16, 2026
146
I don't recall having seen a similar thread.

How much pain do you expect to feel during your ctb, or how much painful do you expect it to be?

Personally it's probably for in 1 year and unless I change my opinion until then, I'm planing to go the fsh route. I expect an intense pain in my neck, suffocating a bit, then hopefully passing out after max 30 seconds or so.

And you?
 
  • Like
Reactions: Passenger4224 and lonely_potato
C

CharcoalTragedy

Member
Sep 14, 2026
26
Charcoal burning here. I expect lots of heat from the charcoal, racing heart, nausea, headeches, dizziness. Of course anxiety while waiting. Overall not too bad.
 
Last edited:
  • Love
Reactions: Nat.
hevnsfall

hevnsfall

Cat mom
Jul 18, 2026
122
Sn

I expect puking. Throat burning. Nausea. Dizziness. Anxiety and heart racing. Not too bad. I've had worse panic attacks.
 
  • Love
  • Aww..
Reactions: Nat. and Jonah Byrde
Somewhat Suicidal

Somewhat Suicidal

surviving anhedonia ≠ living
Aug 26, 2026
546
I'm not even sure I want to go through with CTB yet, but obviously this one of the things holding me back (apart from the tiniest bit of hope I still have that I might be able to turn things around on my mental disorders).

Method would be either SN or Inert gas.
With the former I expect throat burning and nausea, with the latter I expect being more being at peace regarding physical pain.
But mostly I fear the intense anxiety, panic or SI with both methods. Maybe that means I'm not ready yet, idk.

I'm mainly here to know and potentially prepare some options as that would give me a sense of security no matter what I end up deciding in the future.
Also it's the first place in the internet or otherwise that I feel both seen and not permanently judged for my feelings.
 
P

pickedmyctbdate

Member
Aug 6, 2026
76
SN definitely sounds like the least painful. Unless you can get your paws on Nembutal or one of the other drugs used for aid-in-dying, which I think includes a heavy cocktail of an antiemitic, and a benzo. But MAID drugs are so heavily regulated, even more so than the most uptight states about opioids.
 
Somewhat Suicidal

Somewhat Suicidal

surviving anhedonia ≠ living
Aug 26, 2026
546
Unless you can get your paws on Nembutal or one of the other drugs used for aid-in-dying, which I think includes a heavy cocktail of an antiemitic, and a benzo.
Ofc Nembutal would also be preferable to me over the other 2 I mentioned above.

SN also includes antiemetics (easy to get) and Benzos, plural (not as easy, but still very doable). Without it, it's not really a safe method due to extreme nausea being likely and the SI factor that you counter with the benzos which also help in losing consciousness fast.
With Nembutal the Benzos are less important actually, although in any official VAS procedure they are given ofc.
 
F

Forveleth

I knew I forgot to do something when I was 15...
Mar 26, 2024
5,146
Partial hanging. When I attempted before, I felt absolutely zero pain right up until I passed out. I am probably still going to do partial, so I anticipate not feeling any pain.
 
lonely_potato

lonely_potato

Member
Aug 23, 2026
47
I've tried partial hanging before, and the worst part is the pain when I can't breathe and my lungs are screaming for oxygen. Also the feeling like my head is gonna explode. I figured out if I can make myself unconscious quicker though, once I pass out it's not so bad.
 
Playingwiththedead

Playingwiththedead

Lilah
Jun 8, 2025
151
I don't recall having seen a similar thread.

How much pain do you expect to feel during your ctb, or how much painful do you expect it to be?

Personally it's probably for in 1 year and unless I change my opinion until then, I'm planing to go the fsh route. I expect an intense pain in my neck, suffocating a bit, then hopefully passing out after max 30 seconds or so.

And you?
I really hope when i hang i get knocked out quickly and dont writhe in pain, thats my worst nightmare, even worse if i go through pain and wake up after
 
UserFromNowhere

UserFromNowhere

Trial Mod
May 4, 2025
593
My methods at this point are hanging or SN. If hanging, I imagine there will be a few seconds of discomfort, perhaps some pain from the rope pressing against my neck, but generally not too painful and overall peaceful. If SN, I imagine the discomfort will probably stretch over minutes, and on the incredible likely possibility I throw up, a bit painful, but hopefully not too bad. In either case, I'm prepared for it. My last attempt was a small prick of pain and then I drifted off into peace, but it didn't take me unfortunately.
 
Passenger4224

Passenger4224

I appreciate everything that can kill me.
Mar 8, 2026
651
My method is jumping, I have no idea how much pain to expect. As long as I die it's irrelevant to me. Though it would be nice to have a few seconds of consciousness when I land just to think to myself "I did it"