Rocinante
My name is Lucifer, please take my hand
- Aug 26, 2022
- 1,469
I could rope right now, but I know I'll feel better when I awake tomorrow so it's whatever. I don't plan to see the end of this year.
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Currently planning to start the two day SN plan the day before my birthday in January. Planning to take the SN around 2200hrs on my birthday. Currently working on my Will and making sure bank account POD forms are in order.
I was lucky and ordered my SN the day before DD stopped selling to consumers. I had to order 2lbs as they didn't have anything smaller. I am going to vacuum seal a large quantity of it and hide in a compartment in the floor just in case my attempt fails this way I will have enough to try again. Unused Meto will also be stored with the remaining SN.
I was lucky and ordered my SN the day before DD stopped selling to consumers. I had to order 2lbs as they didn't have anything smaller. I am going to vacuum seal a large quantity of it and hide in a compartment in the floor just in case my attempt fails this way I will have enough to try again. Unused Meto will also be stored with the remaining SN.
I don't have anything ready, but for the past year and a half I've had the feeling that I don't have much time left. I don't know why this feeling is due, but yesterday I hinted to my mother... in fact today I clearly told her that we have to start preparing things for the day I'm missing because I'm not feeling well.
I have been drafting the Advance Wills document for some time and I have asked you to help me. I don't think it has anything to do with the CTB, I just can't see the way.
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No tinc pas res preparat, pero desde fa any i mig tinc la sensació que em queda poc temps. No se a que es deu aquesta sensació, però ahír li vaig insinuar a ma mare.. de fet avuí li he dit clarament que hem de començar a preparar les coses de cara al día que jo falti perquè no em trobo bé de salut.
Fa temps que redacto el document de voluntats anticipades i li he demanat que m'ajudi. No crec que tingui res a veure amb el CTB, simplement no aconsegueixo veure el camí.
I have been drafting the Advance Wills document for some time and I have asked you to help me. I don't think it has anything to do with the CTB, I just can't see the way.
//
No tinc pas res preparat, pero desde fa any i mig tinc la sensació que em queda poc temps. No se a que es deu aquesta sensació, però ahír li vaig insinuar a ma mare.. de fet avuí li he dit clarament que hem de començar a preparar les coses de cara al día que jo falti perquè no em trobo bé de salut.
Fa temps que redacto el document de voluntats anticipades i li he demanat que m'ajudi. No crec que tingui res a veure amb el CTB, simplement no aconsegueixo veure el camí.
IntelligentLeg
Member
- Nov 6, 2022
- 76
I was able to order the SN from PC October 28th. Apparently we were like the last ones. I noticed it's not sealed at all. How do you seal it???
speck
Student
- May 5, 2020
- 178
By the end of the year, optimally. I lost access to my Nembutal at the beginning of the year and have been waiting for an opportunity to replace it because I'm scared of failure/what heart failure from SN might feel like. But I'm giving up and looking ahead to securing rc benz and SN, and just taking the plunge. I have nothing to live for and no hope.
I thought I'd die before 24, and then I thought I'd die before 25. Now I'm 25 and even closer to the edge but I am just waiting for an opportune time
Mine was received in a plastic bottle and the bottle in a plastic bag tied up. I opened it up to check color then immediately put the lid back on and then placed three oxygen absorbers in the bag and tied it right back up only to open it again when I have to mix. I keep a check on the absorbers in case they get saturated, I can change them out but so far, no color change in just over a month.
Someday_Somehow32
Member
- Jul 20, 2022
- 90
I have a possible method chosen and I'm holding on till after Thanksgiving then I'm going to CTB
IntelligentLeg
Member
- Nov 6, 2022
- 76
Mine just came in the plastic jar with a screwed on lid. Theres no plastic bag. Do you think it would be smart to open it and put oxygen absorbers just in it? Or should I move the SN to a plastic bag and put it back in the jar?
I am ready to die any day. But I have been thinking like this for a long time. The survival instinct is in the way. I think that one have to feel so bad that it is impossible to function normally - life must be unbearable - and only then one will find the courage to die.
I am attempting within a month or so, but idk if I will succeed. So maybe I'll have to live a bit longer, but I do not think I can last more than a year.
LaVieEnRose
Angelic
- Jul 23, 2022
- 4,377
I would put it in a bag with some absorbers in the bag, not in the SN itself. I got some absorbers off the jungle site and they are the reusable kind. Once they turn from blue to pink, they can be baked on the lowest setting in the oven to remove the moisture and then can be used again. I am trying to take as much precaution to keep my stash safe since its getting too difficult purchase more should something happen to it.
TheCyberian
Swinging in Her Cell
- Nov 13, 2022
- 81
I just have 15 days left. I feel no anxiety or sadness anymore. I'm just numb. Based on my previous attempts, I know that I'm ready to go once I feel this way.
I've tried benzos + alcohol and partial several times since I was a teenager. I know I won't fail this time now that I have such a reliable method. I'm ready to go.
I've tried benzos + alcohol and partial several times since I was a teenager. I know I won't fail this time now that I have such a reliable method. I'm ready to go.
Other than a TON of benzos I've acquired, I don't have the resource I want/need- SN. I just don't know where to get it. Once I do (and I will), I will ctb within the month. I'm more than ready.
deadalreadysqc
Member
- Sep 21, 2022
- 15
I plan to leave at the end of the month. I'm a little scared but also at peace. my SN arrived today..My family is coming in from different states and I'm gonna enjoy one last night with them all, I want to give them a good last memory of me
ClownMe
Don't Cry for Me, I'm Already Dead
- Apr 7, 2021
- 20,561
tyasma
Member
- Oct 14, 2022
- 33
No idea whatsoever. Could be today during the night. Tomorrow. Monday. Next week? This month/next month... I just don't know anymore. The only thing I do know is that it'll be at one of my lowest points. I have several episodes daily that get close to it but none have so far. At the very least I know I won't fail so I can take that for granted, though I know I'm not totally "ready" when I'm so anxious about it. The times when I'm indifferent are the real death wish moments.
BipolarExpress
he/him · tired/exhausted
- Nov 11, 2022
- 266
I'm dealing with a current obligation, and I'm not sure of the duration.
When it is finished, I will have two options: either nuke myself or become a homeless drifter.
I can't ask other members of my family for help, not that it matters because I've never been taught or allowed to ask for help, and being in a family that values doing things for oneself (i.e., not asking for help), yes, you're alone, and no one cares if a member of said family decides to cash out or disappear.
Asking anyone, be it in said family or even a stranger, for help would be viewed as an admission of failure (you can't win the game of life), and you needed a life jacket, so one would be further ostracized.
When it is finished, I will have two options: either nuke myself or become a homeless drifter.
I can't ask other members of my family for help, not that it matters because I've never been taught or allowed to ask for help, and being in a family that values doing things for oneself (i.e., not asking for help), yes, you're alone, and no one cares if a member of said family decides to cash out or disappear.
Asking anyone, be it in said family or even a stranger, for help would be viewed as an admission of failure (you can't win the game of life), and you needed a life jacket, so one would be further ostracized.
Waiting for my Dad to go first, so I have no idea. After that, I guess it will depend on whether anything miraculous has happened to make me keep going (kind of unlikely.) Will also depend on how much money I have as to how I spend my last remaining days. Part of me is tempted to go see a few places- barely left the house since covid. Still- I'm getting my shit together now, so I am at least prepared to go. Every day for months now, it has felt like the right time to go. Still, I guess none of us REALLY know till the time comes.
Chronicoverwhelm
Student
- Aug 13, 2022
- 135
I still need to get SN and supplies. But I am hanging in for my dog right now. She is doing well, but a senior, and I have no idea what kind of time she has left. Ideally I'd go right after she does.
dandan
One more attempt on life.
- Feb 18, 2019
- 1,298
Reliable method? n? Sn?
Probably weeks , it came back after 3 years and I said wouldn't fight it again. It's very tired some.
I have 2 year old after expiration N in the fridge, they said that if it does not has some crystals it might work, I don't know it's inside a sealed box.
Suicidebydeath
No chances to be happy - dead inside
- Nov 25, 2021
- 3,558
I think just a few more days but it won't be easy at all. I wish I had N though.
stilhavinightmares
Warlock
- Oct 13, 2022
- 753
dandan
One more attempt on life.
- Feb 18, 2019
- 1,298
Weeks , anyone knows if a 2 , 3 yearly old expired N in the fridge could still do the job?
How could I know?
How could I know?
Suicidebydeath
No chances to be happy - dead inside
- Nov 25, 2021
- 3,558
It probably would, I know I would buy expired N over my current method if that was an option.
locked*n*loaded
Archangel
- Apr 15, 2022
- 9,008
I'd have to say anywhere from six to eight months on the outside. As long as I can get done what I need to and things go as planned. That's the plan, anyway.
Sapphire
Student
- Nov 22, 2022
- 185
I think 2 or 3 months at the most but probably less. I really feel like I'm at the end of my rope. I don't even know how I manage to get through the day now.
