- Jun 29, 2018
Another day, another failed procedure for my medical problem. I straight up told my new pain management doctor why is it that the medical establishment can completely screw you up and then just string you along while you wait home in agony for appointments that are sometimes months away while relying on medications just to get by. I have lost the joy in even the most simplest of things like even eating what I used to enjoy. All I want is some honesty. If you can't fix this then just tell me that I'm screwed and better off dead. Or at least there is nothing that we can do. I've met some asshole and some real compassionate doctors. He's the good type and his response was that we will never tell you that. I was never a sickly kid and barely went to the doctors until I unfortunately trusted psychiatrists as real doctors. That's simply not the way medicine works. You have to diagnose through a test and then treat. What tests are there for schizophrenia or bipolar disorder which they diagnose people with like crazy the same way they diagnose kids with ADHD. Shizoaffective is the most popular diagnose cause they can put you on powerful shit that you will never be able to get off of. I tried and I got completely screwed. I'm being patient and waiting for my answer but at some point I really feel like I'm gonna snap because I went from a happy and hopeful person to suicidally depressed because of stupid doctors. I feel like a trapped animal and I'm about to fucking lose it. I begged a doctor to put in the hospital to figure this shit out, but no sorry we can't do that. We can put you in a psych ward where you waste fucking weeks at a time because you are supposedly "a danger to yourself". How do you want me to be happy and productive where you've given me something that is completely life altering, debilitating. Of course I'm gonna feel like dying you stupid mother fucker.