How many times have you attempted to ctb?

[Smelly_ballz]

I've been curious about this for a while. Feel free to comment your experiences.

 

[sserafim]

0 lol

 

[mehdone]

I've lost count.

 

[sad4dayz]

I've been curious about this for a while. Feel free to comment your experiences.

Haven't seriously attempted. "Experimented" but that's about it. Love.your username though!

 

[Ihty]

I've attempted once about 4 years ago but it was without any planning at all and didn't go anywhere. This time around I've decided to go with SN and i almost have everything ready. Just need one more thing to arrive and to prepare myself mentally for when I do it. Will probably be some time next month.

 

[bipolar22]

Stopped counting after 10. One would learn from it and improve on it next time but not me though lol

 

[divinemistress36]

I've lost count.

Does working on bodies of people who have committed suicide make you want to die more or less?

 

[ijustwishtodie]

0. When I do attempt suicide, I want to make it my first and last attempt

 

[sukiduki]

1- i was young and naive and didn't understand science or anything. i took a bunch of advil as a teen (maybe 15-25 pills) and thought that would do the trick - lol but clearly its not that easy. might make the earnest effort next year as that my next "deadline" for life.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

0. When I do attempt suicide, I want to make it my first and last attempt

SAME!

When I was very suicidal I only prepared my method but didn't go any further.

 

[WretchedDreams]

I have tried it 3 times. The first was whenI had 15 with an OD of DPH washed down with whisky,I did not understand anything about dosing divided by weight nor researched any further details. The only thing I managed to do was contract a debt with the Hatman.

The second try was an exsanguination but it was much more complicated than expected. It was a mess, blood everywhere that I had to clean up.

The third time was not the charm. At the moment I am still deciding on a method like the exit bag or SN but I still can't get all the materials.

 

[FuneralCry]

I haven't as there isn't the option for me to reliably die in a guaranteed way. What I'd fear is trying to die potentially going wrong and leading to way worse suffering, the thought of such a thing happening is so horrifying.

 

[sserafim]

0. When I do attempt suicide, I want to make it my first and last attempt

Same

 

[darkenmydoorstep]

Never- because when I do it, I intend getting it 100% right. Hence why I study here in this forum, taking in information diligently like the most keen student. Learning from the mistakes of others.

 

[justcallmeJ]

Years ago i stood ready to hit a train, decided not to at the last moment

 

[Schmopo]

Stopped counting after 10. One would learn from it and improve on it next time but not me though lol

Same here lol.

Reminds me of the scene in The Final Destination of the guy trying to kill himself but death wouldn't allow it because it's not his turn.
"I'm just trying to give God what he wants. I've been trying to kill myself all day! Painkillers I threw them up. I hooked up the hose to the exhaust of my car and it just kept stalling. Then...this..." *Gestures at noose wrapped around his neck*

 

[CouldaHvBeenARock]

Tried Once; I was not ready for partial hanging, i tried several times to get it right, but I had not done the proper research needed esp with partial
Hopefully second times a charm

 

[Dliena]

A big fat ZERO no such attempts yet I'm afraid.

 

[Ironborn]

First was a drowning attempt whilst drunk, blacked out and washed up on shore. Good/bad luck depending how you see it haha.
Second was when I was experimenting with the night night method, ratchet strap and cornhole bags, managed to restrict my blood flow enough to kinda lose consciousness but I think one of the bags came loose.
But hey at least I know it's viable ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

[ForgottenTomb]

I have done multiple things that could be deadly from 12-14, but these weren't done with the ultimate intent of ending my life, like putting an exit bag over my head or suffocating myself and seeing how far I can go before slipping away (hanging russian roulette :P ).
Actual attempts:
1 - 2 years ago when I hung myself, my arms, legs and teeth gums went numb and I got an incredible rush of peace over my head before I passed out. The thrashing became an immediate problem, though. Having your body spaz out and convulse is common during hanging (I had no idea at that time), because of this hanging myself in my room was not an option anymore.
2 - 2 years ago, I reserved a hotel room and wrote a goodbye message on this forum, I brought my nylon rope with me and the note but right when I picked up my bag and went for the door, police officers came barging in and intervened. I was sent to the police station instead in a police car to ''talk it out'', so I wasted my money without setting a foot in the hotel. Moral of the story is: watch what you say on the internet. I still have the nylon rope from that day and I updated the note, but it isn't my time yet. I will know when it is.

 

[steppingoff]

Once a full suspension hanging when I was a teenager where I passed out and the knot a slipped and I found myself in the floor with a big head bump

The second was a practise of a partial suspension. I was half through it and told myself go all the way. And was nearing black out when I heard something upstairs and I came right out of it. Wow what a headache on that one

 

[skybox]

I sat in the middle of my room with a box cutter pressed against my neck after having what I can only describe as a temper tantrum. I stayed like that for a few minutes crying my heart out. Decided to self report by walking to my old clinic, gave the front desk woman the box cutter and told her to contact my therapist. Yadda yadda ended up not quite grippy sock jail but something in the middle, for 4 days I had to live at this home with a mixed gender group of people. It was fun, but anyway that's the closest I've ever gotten to suicide outside of the self harm I did as a teenager.

 

[doomer843]

I have tried it 3 times. The first was whenI had 15 with an OD of DPH washed down with whisky,I did not understand anything about dosing divided by weight nor researched any further details. The only thing I managed to do was contract a debt with the Hatman.

Is the "Hatman" a real thing or a joke? I keep hearing about it but I can't tell

 

[WretchedDreams]

Is the "Hatman" a real thing or a joke? I keep hearing about it but I can't tell

In many forums it is talked about him jokingly, but it is such a common delirium that I really think about whether it is real and only when we are mentally vulnerable can we see him. The other posibility is a form of memetic virus: people talk about the Hatman online so many people get suggested (i don't know if that word exist) and see him then tell their anecdotes online and then....

Although I usually use substances recreationally, dph is not one of them. Just to help mee sleep. Either way, encountering that entity is a terrifying experience.

 

[RosesFlourish]

No, I've only thought about it. I think, depending on my age, I'd want to jump with a parachute (get my skydiving license and get used to jumping first). Regret sounds less scary if I can pull the parachute and change my mind. If it was an emergency, maybe I'm diagnosed with early set-dementia, I'm using a gun.

 

[Forveleth]

Had many "attempts" by holding a knife to some part of me too afraid to do anything. Even wrote notes a couple of times and took Aspirin to thin my blood.

A few actual attempts with chloroform. First tried to drink it (it burns badly but tastes good at least). Then a try of suffocation with a chloroform-soaked rag. Passed out but then woke up vomiting. Still pissed off that didn't work. I was so ready to go.

 

[Silent_cries]

In many forums it is talked about him jokingly, but it is such a common delirium that I really think about whether it is real and only when we are mentally vulnerable can we see him. The other posibility is a form of memetic virus: people talk about the Hatman online so many people get suggested (i don't know if that word exist) and see him then tell their anecdotes online and then....

Although I usually use substances recreationally, dph is not one of them. Just to help mee sleep. Either way, encountering that entity is a terrifying experience.

What's a hatman?

 

[IHurtTheOneILove]

If we're counting all my partial hanging attempts where I backed out before I could black out 6-7. However if it's an attempt where I went through with it but survived it's only 1

 

[Silent_cries]

I've lost count.

Me too, and the number still keeps increasing bc I'm impulsive af. >_<

 

[etherealgoddess]

I've only done it once. I'm shit scared to kill myself because I don't want to turn into a vegetable. I wonder if I could come close to death and survive, only to live a worse life.