Discussion How many people have reached out for help but been rejected? Pro-lifers- please take note!

[Forever Sleep]

I'm really just curious- seeing as we're always being told to reach out for help. Who has reached out for help and been rejected? Either the helpline was busy/ hung up, there were no therapists available, the psyche ward was full up. I've heard stories here and there. I just wondered what the actual figure was. Feel free to name and shame your country of residence if you like... or- share whatevever you like...

I suppose this is a post bashing our 'services'. I don't absolutely intend it to be though. For me- it's more that it's held up by pro-lifers as the go-to simple solution. When- I REALLY don't think it is that simple. I don't think it's even as accessible as they believe and I'm not convinced it's even that effective for some people- otherwise- why else would they be on a site like this?

Plenty of people here have already had some 'treatment'. Some have had extensive treatment. So- how effective was it for you if you were given treatment? Whatever that may be- a conversation, a therapy session, medication, a stay in a psyche ward. Did any of it help?

I actually want pro-lifers to see this too. To realise that it isn't just a case of reaching out for help and being 'saved'. SOME people WANT to get better but can't even get access to the support they need! For others, it hasn't been successful. I'm just curious really as to what people's experiences are.

 

[Deathisbetter]

I'm really just curious- seeing as we're always being told to reach out for help. Who has reached out for help and been rejected? Either the helpline was busy/ hung up, there were no therapists available, the psyche ward was full up. I've heard stories here and there. I just wondered what the actual figure was. Feel free to name and shame your country of residence if you like... or- share whatevever you like...

I suppose this is a post bashing our 'services'. I don't absolutely intend it to be though. For me- it's more that it's held up by pro-lifers as the go-to simple solution. When- I REALLY don't think it is that simple. I don't think it's even as accessible as they believe and I'm not convinced it's even that effective for some people- otherwise- why else would they be on a site like this?

Plenty of people here have already had some 'treatment'. Some have had extensive treatment. So- how effective was it for you if you were given treatment? Whatever that may be- a conversation, a therapy session, medication, a stay in a psyche ward. Did any of it help?

I actually want pro-lifers to see this too. To realise that it isn't just a case of reaching out for help and being 'saved'. SOME people WANT to get better but can't even get access to the support they need! For others, it hasn't been successful. I'm just curious really as to what people's experiences are.

Also for some people especially myself with the cost of living it costs to damn much to actually get help

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I've not reached out for "help" as even this "help" would not have solved my actual personal problem. Yes I tried therapy but it will never ever be able to solve my personal problem.

 

[voc_89]

reached out to a close friend. When i started opening up about how difficult life was for me he made up an excuse to cut the convo short. We were friends from 2004 to 2019 (he stopped talking to me). Heck we were even university room mates at a point in time. That experience confirmed to me that normies really don't give a crap about what we going through. They just like to preach from their soap boxes about help and reaching out

 

[d3c96524be95]

Voted both "reached out, rejected" and "received, didn't help", thanks for allowing multiple answers.

It happened to me many times that, after reaching out for help, the doctor/psychiatrist argued that I needed a "higher level of care" or whatever, redirecting me towards emergency services or saturated public services with 1-year waitlists or so. They only wanted to work with seasonally depressive patients I guess, because I never visited them under high emergency.

Otherwise, some (expensive) psychiatrists did accept me as a patient and tried countless drugs that were inefficient and had many, *many* adverse events. They usually wouldn't ackowledge that before months, making my life shittier in the meantime. So I'd say not only receiving treatments can "not help", it can also make things worse, especially when your psychiatrist is a psychopath (and TBH, most of the ones I've seen had traits).

Also, I'm lucky enough to be decently wealthy. If you're poor, you have to go for the waitlists (and from experience, the psychiatrists you get from those are usually the most unhelpful ones).

 

[Forever Sleep]

Voted both "reached out, rejected" and "received, didn't help", thanks for allowing multiple answers.

It happened to me many times that, after reaching out for help, the doctor/psychiatrist argued that I needed a "higher level of care" or whatever, redirecting me towards emergency services or saturated public services with 1-year waitlists or so. They only wanted to work with seasonally depressive patients I guess, because I never visited them under high emergency.

Otherwise, some (expensive) psychiatrists did accept me as a patient and tried countless drugs that were inefficient and had many, *many* adverse events. They usually wouldn't ackowledge that before months, making my life shittier in the meantime. So I'd say not only receiving treatments can "not help", it can also make things worse, especially when your psychiatrist is a psychopath (and TBH, most of the ones I've seen had traits).

Also, I'm lucky enough to be decently wealthy. If you're poor, you have to go for the waitlists (and from experience, the psychiatrists you get from those are usually the most unhelpful ones).

Thank you for sharing your experiences. Yes, I realised as I was doing the poll that people may have encountered different experiences each time they sought help- so, multiple votes seemed best.

I do actually admire people who try and improve their situations. I think it takes a lot of guts to make yourself vulnerable and open up to a stranger. Just to admit that you're struggling to begin with even. I actually have family members who openly say they don't believe in therapy- the kind of stiff upper lip- I've gone through much worse on my own attitude. So- some people have to face all that before even getting help.

Still- it also kind of lets me off the hook in a selfish way when I hear about bad experiences. Not that it makes me happy to hear that other people have suffered. It frightens me actually. Especially in cases like yours- where the treatment only seemed to make things worse. I've heard that multiple times here and in real life.

I've only ever gone to a few sessions. I suppose to be really truthful- I don't want to go through all that discomfort to try and face my fears, change and 'grow'. I know I'm lazy. Still- I suppose I can also justify it to myself saying that it doesn't always help. It sometimes even makes things worse!

Plus- I suppose what I'd be aiming for doesn't exactly appeal so much either. My aim would to be more confident and less socially anxious in order to be able to work with others and go for more jobs. In my industry, that only really equates to being exploited! So- do I want to transform myself into a more productive member of society- so I can be exploited easier- erm... no.

 

[TabooMushroom2]

I didn't think that this pool will show how many people was professionaly helped, I thing it will show how many people reaching for help here, because they was rejected, or treatment not work, or not belive enought profesionals, or they not have health insurance also not have enought money. I think that there would't be people who was fully helped, because these people have no reason go on this forum, so they can't vote in this pool

I personaly went to psychologist with suicidal thoughts, she didn't help me much, she give me antidepressants what should start working after one month, it have no effect on me not even negative, just nothing, i even acidently didn't understand right dosage and take twice as much than i should, she was mad on me after that, but even with overdosage it has no effect on me, i thought it could be placebo and search wiki what the medicaments are, and there was writen that they are wery strong antidepressants, i get different antidepressants later, but they didn't work either.
I also was sent to more experienced profesional, who discover on me that my brain structure is comleatly different than on all people which they know how to heal them, so his statement was that I am unhealable and i basicly get ''just plaster'' on my problems what actualy help little bit, i stay with suicidal thouts, but i not need do that right now, i can just wait for moment when i will be eldery enought to die naturaly. Now i can just speed psychical time with the plaster i get and wait, but i also want still solve my problems, i trying solve that by solwing smaler problems first, i tryd go with these small multiple problems with two psychologist now and i was imidietly rejected, because of my unique braid, so i need help maself just by myself, and went to this forum where i trying to solve these smaller problems by myself.

I don't blame the psychologist even littlebit, there is big ammount of them but ammount of patients is even bigger, and they not have time for do experimental treatment, so all people who are to much unique will be imdietly rejected, also they not have much good medical equipment even in more developed countries, physical health care have thing like x-ray, elecromagnetic resonance and other advanced stuff like this. What mental healthcare have is things like rorschach test, some other paper tests, no technology, no wonder thay drowning in amount of patients who are wery tricky to help. i know there are exist some psychologist who actualy do experimental treatment with EEG for their studies and doing mental healtcare better, but there not much of them sadly.

 

[d3c96524be95]

I didn't think that this pool will show how many people was professionaly helped, I thing it will show how many people reaching for help here, because they was rejected, or treatment not work, or not belive enought profesionals, or they not have health insurance also not have enought money. I think that there would't be people who was fully helped, because these people have no reason go on this forum, so they can't vote in this pool

This is true, but I think this is precisely what's interesting about this poll. The fact that people should seek for proper mental healthcare is commonly used as an argument against this community. This poll shows that almost all of us did exactly that. But I guess it's easier blaming us than focusing on what's profoundly wrong with the mental healthcare system.

I'm very sad to read the rest of your experience though. I hope you'll be able to find a relief somehow .

 

[Forever Sleep]

I didn't think that this pool will show how many people was professionaly helped, I thing it will show how many people reaching for help here, because they was rejected, or treatment not work, or not belive enought profesionals, or they not have health insurance also not have enought money. I think that there would't be people who was fully helped, because these people have no reason go on this forum, so they can't vote in this pool

I personaly went to psychologist with suicidal thoughts, she didn't help me much, she give me antidepressants what should start working after one month, it have no effect on me not even negative, just nothing, i even acidently didn't understand right dosage and take twice as much than i should, she was mad on me after that, but even with overdosage it has no effect on me, i thought it could be placebo and search wiki what the medicaments are, and there was writen that they are wery strong antidepressants, i get different antidepressants later, but they didn't work either.
I also was sent to more experienced profesional, who discover on me that my brain structure is comleatly different than on all people which they know how to heal them, so his statement was that I am unhealable and i basicly get ''just plaster'' on my problems what actualy help little bit, i stay with suicidal thouts, but i not need do that right now, i can just wait for moment when i will be eldery enought to die naturaly. Now i can just speed psychical time with the plaster i get and wait, but i also want still solve my problems, i trying solve that by solwing smaler problems first, i tryd go with these small multiple problems with two psychologist now and i was imidietly rejected, because of my unique braid, so i need help maself just by myself, and went to this forum where i trying to solve these smaller problems by myself.

I don't blame the psychologist even littlebit, there is big ammount of them but ammount of patients is even bigger, and they not have time for do experimental treatment, so all people who are to much unique will be imdietly rejected, also they not have much good medical equipment even in more developed countries, physical health care have thing like x-ray, elecromagnetic resonance and other advanced stuff like this. What mental healthcare have is things like rorschach test, some other paper tests, no technology, no wonder thay drowning in amount of patients who are wery tricky to help. i know there are exist some psychologist who actualy do experimental treatment with EEG for their studies and doing mental healtcare better, but there not much of them sadly.

I realise that this may well come across as bashing the psychiatry profession. That isn't REALLY my intention. I do acknowledge that 'normies' or recovered suicidalists aren't going to be here to place their vote and sing the praises of how the industry 'saved' them. Neither would I discourage people from trying to get help. I'm sure in some cases- it does work.

What I am trying to get across though- is that many people here HAVE tried to get help. For some, it may well have helped. For others- it didn't, they couldn't even get assistance or- it actually made things worse for them. I do get the impression that most pro-lifers will just resort to- 'Seek professional help' as the answer to ideation. It's THAT I want to question here. As in- many people HAVE done just that- and it DIDN'T help them!

I hope it does help you eventually though. As I've said previously- I admire people who fight. I personally don't think it's something we should all be expected to do. I think it has to be a personal choice. Still- for people who do want to fight- good quality, affordable support ought to be there. ESPECIALLY seeing as that's what most suicidal people will be referred to- if they make the decision to open up.

 

[wristcutangel]

tried to reach out time and time again, at best i was just dismissed without a second thought, at worst i was harassed and threatened for even thinking to burden someone.

 

[lachrymost]

Should be an option for "I received treatment and it was harmful".

 

[Forever Sleep]

Should be an option for "I received treatment and it was harmful".

Yeah- good point. I don't think I can edit it now though... I have run polls in the past- asking about the effectiveness of help people received. I think I set this one up more to see how many people had been rejected... Here's the previous poll:

Poll: How much therapy/ treatment have you received and did it help?

So- apologies if there are other threads that cover this. Plus, I realise I'm kind of looking at three different topics here- How many people here have received treatment- therapy or medication? How effective was it? How does it compare to a website such as this? Still, I feel like all three are...

sanctioned-suicide.net

 

[LoiteringClouds]

@Forever Sleep I'm grateful to you for giving us a soapbox.
And, I'm also grateful healthcare is very affordable in Japan and we don't have lengthy waiting lists.

I've been emotionally fragile and suicidal since 8, but I got severely depressed for the first time in 2014 (when I'm 26). I thought it's time to get help but I knew doctors in Japan were reluctant to diagnose, and I was sure they dismiss me saying "Feeling depressed is normal when you have a hard time, so you don't need any treatment. Just press ahead!"

So I deliberately practised self-harm several times in order to attract medical attention. Then I visit a psychiatrist, showed my scars and he diagnosed me with "neurosis" (the archaic form of "generalized anxiety disorder") and prescribed me a benzo. I won his attention - mission accomplished.
(I didn't get addicted to benzos and I kicked them in 2020, but it was sheer luck.)

I just pressed on - I overcame fear of cutting myself. I successfully convinced my doctor I had a real problem. This was my first victory - nobody took me seriously before. But it came with its own costs: I got addicted to self-harm and continued it for several months, and I still have scars on my right forearm.

So, dear pro-lifers - please know that sometimes we need fortitude in order to get help from professionals. And people who have it are the exception, not the norm. I think exhausted people who don't have fortitude need a fortified sanctuary like this forum.

Thanks for reading

 

[irie]

i was forced to reach out following being hospitalized, then went almost a year without receiving actual treatment, only to be told almost a year in that i'd have to undergo the entire process all over again. i'm not really sure what option that falls under, but that's my experience

 

[Mtnwildflowers]

I've tried 30 medications (including ketamine) and have permanent side effects from some of them..movement disorder, parkinsonism, cognitive and memory deficits from Electro convulsive therapy. Did TMS and ended up in the ER after having a seizure two weeks into the treatment. Did therapy for 15 years. Compliant with psychiatrist and meds for 20 years.

Ask for helped, and it never came. That's why I bought N in the past, and I'm going to CTB pretty soon.

There is no help. Thanks for making this post and poll. It's very important for pro lifers to see. This should be able to be marked a significant post in some way once responses are accumulated!!

 

[Peerless_Cucumber]

I was only taken seriously by professionals after my failed attempt. Before that no one took me seriously even though I told them how I felt. After that tho everyone was so obsessed with my desire to die that they wanted to kill said desire without helping me fix my problems. So to be blunt no one cared. Even after the attempt.

 

[AShipinthedark]

They said I was Family now...

 

[BlazingBob]

I've tried 30 medications (including ketamine) and have permanent side effects from some of them..movement disorder, parkinsonism, cognitive and memory deficits from Electro convulsive therapy. Did TMS and ended up in the ER after having a seizure two weeks into the treatment. Did therapy for 15 years. Compliant with psychiatrist and meds for 20 years.

Ask for helped, and it never came. That's why I bought N in the past, and I'm going to CTB pretty soon.

There is no help. Thanks for making this post and poll. It's very important for pro lifers to see. This should be able to be marked a significant post in some way once responses are accumulated!!

Our stories are very similar. I also did TMS, ketamine infusions, and pretty much every drug out there. I also ended up a movement disorder and parkinsonism. I'm pretty sure the drugs caused or contributed to a severe case of RLS which now requires a drug 100 times more potent than morphine to quell the torture. I did 40 consecutive sessions of TMS. The only thing it did was increase my anxiety exponentially. The only thing the ketamine infusions did was lighten my wallet at $750 a pop. I've seen countless therapists, psychologists, shrinks, pastors. Hundreds of hours and tens of thousands of dollars. I'm almost 51 years old and worse than ever. I'd write more but I'm falling asleep because I'm so exhausted from the sleep deprivation resulting from RLS.

 

[Sad Avocado]

Honestly it was during this febraury that I realised that I needed some help. It was suring last october that that thought of ctb came across my mind and it was during febraury that I realised that I needed help because I was probably affected by depression or at least a thing like that. I reached out to a psychologist that managed to help a friend of mine with some problems and I told her almost everything about me. Obviously I didnt tell her about my thoughts on suicide because of the fear of being locked up somewhere. The psychologist is a really kind hearted person and did everything to help me but my situation didnt get better as it worsened on May. At the end of that month I found this website (while searching for methods) and discovered that many people have the same problems as me. So therapy for me didnt really work out. I tried to call up a hotline once and lol they didnt respond :)

 

[vitbar]

Sometimes when I've called a helpline it has taken an age.

Getting care out of the system in the UK at the moment is also difficult. You have to wait ages for low intensity therapy and then only might get offered more. Waiting times are worse than for physical problems (and they are already way too long).

I have found both the medication and therapy helpful.

 

[OhWellDerp321]

People have to understand the meaning of "No one can help you".

That saying is 100% true. Why? Because humans are naturally selfish.

Friends are only there to listen for a bit. No sane person will listen to you rant 24/7.

Therapists are there to get paid for you to rant. They can't provide "treatment". What the fuck are they going to tell you in 1 hour that can fix your lifetime of problems?

This is not to be pessimistic. But it's the truth. Think about it. If you were in their shoes, would you let someone rant at you 24/7 non-stop are sacrifice your own sanity and sleep? Would you let someone rant for you for an hour with no pay? Hell no.

In reality there is no help. You can't rely on someone to solve your life problems. And if you've already tried to solve them on your own and failed multiple times, then its up to you if you want to keep trying.

 

[saddestbunny]

People have to understand the meaning of "No one can help you".

That saying is 100% true. Why? Because humans are naturally selfish.

Friends are only there to listen for a bit. No sane person will listen to you rant 24/7.

Therapists are there to get paid for you to rant. They can't provide "treatment". What the fuck are they going to tell you in 1 hour that can fix your lifetime of problems?

This is not to be pessimistic. But it's the truth. Think about it. If you were in their shoes, would you let someone rant at you 24/7 non-stop are sacrifice your own sanity and sleep? Would you let someone rant for you for an hour with no pay? Hell no.

In reality there is no help. You can't rely on someone to solve your life problems. And if you've already tried to solve them on your own and failed multiple times, then its up to you if you want to keep trying.

this exact mindset keeps the world functioning as it does

fuck I wanna die I hate how this system is set up it's unbelievably stupid

 

[brainwormz]

People have to understand the meaning of "No one can help you".

That saying is 100% true. Why? Because humans are naturally selfish.

Friends are only there to listen for a bit. No sane person will listen to you rant 24/7.

Therapists are there to get paid for you to rant. They can't provide "treatment". What the fuck are they going to tell you in 1 hour that can fix your lifetime of problems?

This is not to be pessimistic. But it's the truth. Think about it. If you were in their shoes, would you let someone rant at you 24/7 non-stop are sacrifice your own sanity and sleep? Would you let someone rant for you for an hour with no pay? Hell no.

In reality there is no help. You can't rely on someone to solve your life problems. And if you've already tried to solve them on your own and failed multiple times, then its up to you if you want to keep trying.

this is only true under the framework we currently live under. In reality society could take a good hard look at itself, and decide to make serious changes that increase the happiness and ability of everyone in society to succeed. I acknowledge that will never happen, but I think it's important to note that.

 

[OhWellDerp321]

this is only true under the framework we currently live under. In reality society could take a good hard look at itself, and decide to make serious changes that increase the happiness and ability of everyone in society to succeed. I acknowledge that will never happen, but I think it's important to note that.

I agree. Society should take a look at what changes can be made to make people happier. For one, make basic things like a fucking home affordable. Not talking about a fancy mansion.... I am talking about even a small basic apartment with a tiny kitchen and just a bed to sleep on. It's ridiculous how thats barely affordable in modern First World Countries for some people working a full time job.

 

[brainwormz]

I agree. Society should take a look at what changes can be made to make people happier. For one, make basic things like a fucking home affordable. Not talking about a fancy mansion.... I am talking about even a small basic apartment with a tiny kitchen and just a bed to sleep on. It's ridiculous how thats barely affordable in modern First World Countries for some people working a full time job.

Affordable housing right now is a complete joke. I totally agree with you. I live in low income housing. Currently I make $20 an hour and I can't afford to pay my rent. That's how expensive it is. It's not like I'm waisting my money either. I can't afford groceries so I get one$6 fast food meal a day. I don't even take the bus to work cause it's cheaper to take a scooter.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Affordable housing right now is a complete joke. I totally agree with you. I live in low income housing. Currently I make $20 an hour and I can't afford to pay my rent. That's how expensive it is. It's not like I'm waisting my money either. I can't afford groceries so I get one$6 fast food meal a day. I don't even take the bus to work cause it's cheaper to take a scooter.

Sorry you have to go through this. But I just made a calculation: 8h per day, 6 days per week, with 20$ / h that's 3840 USD / month. And that isn't enough for an appartent and good food? I'd be happy if i had that job, ok I would need to look at it but the income sounds appealing.

 

[brainwormz]

Sorry you have to go through this. But I just made a calculation: 8h per day, 6 days per week, with 20$ / h that's 3840 USD / month. And that isn't enough for an appartent and good food? I'd be happy if i had that job, ok I would need to look at it but the income sounds appealing.

Yeah it's an entirely fuck situation. I live in one of America's biggest cities. And after taxes and health insurance(which I can't seem to escape) I bring home about half of that. Right now it's honestly one of my biggest driving factors in suicidality. I was actually doing fine when I had this job and my states single payer healthcare. but I was forced to get off of that and get health insurance and ever since then every day it's been a constant struggle getting absolutely nowhere. it's not even like I can refuse to pay for my health insurance, it's taken out of my paycheck before I even see the money.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

Yeah it's an entirely fuck situation. I live in one of America's biggest cities. And after taxes and health insurance(which I can't seem to escape) I bring home about half of that. Right now it's honestly one of my biggest driving factors in suicidality. I was actually doing fine when I had this job and my states single payer healthcare. but I was forced to get off of that and get health insurance and ever since then every day it's been a constant struggle getting absolutely nowhere. it's not even like I can refuse to pay for my health insurance, it's taken out of my paycheck before I even see the money.

I understand, no doubt money is one of the most suicidal factors out there, it's similar here. The question is what does the healthcare really pay when you get sick? So this might pay off in the future, otherwise you wouldn't have any healthcare? I agree with the taxes point, far too much taxes for nothing on low income.

 

[brainwormz]

I understand, no doubt money is one of the most suicidal factors out there, it's similar here. The question is what does the healthcare really pay when you get sick? So this might pay off in the future, otherwise you wouldn't have any healthcare? I agree with the taxes point, far too much taxes for nothing on low income.

I mean, yeah, that's why I signed up for the health insurance plan I have. I was under the impression I'd only be paying monthly. Turns out I'm paying weekly. I've been desperately trying to back out of that health insurance plan ever since I found out it was a weekly payment taking up more than half of my paycheck. It's been about two months since I started trying to back out of it. My employer says I have to wait till October, but I'll probably be homeless again by then. I honestly wish I could just live in the psych ward forever. I'm really not equipped to be an adult. The funny thing about even having health insurance is that it's so expensive I can't afford my medication's. Before I was on Apple health and my medication was free every doctor visit free everything free. Now with my insurance if I were to try and buy my medication's, it would cost me roughly $150 a month so I've just been taking my antipsychotics once a week when I don't have work and I work six days a week 50 to 60 hours a week. Sorry I keep going on and on about it but you know conversational I don't know if I'm doing this right but thanks for talking to me.

 

[Praestat_Mori]

I mean, yeah, that's why I signed up for the health insurance plan I have. I was under the impression I'd only be paying monthly. Turns out I'm paying weekly. I've been desperately trying to back out of that health insurance plan ever since I found out it was a weekly payment taking up more than half of my paycheck. It's been about two months since I started trying to back out of it. My employer says I have to wait till October, but I'll probably be homeless again by then. I honestly wish I could just live in the psych ward forever. I'm really not equipped to be an adult. The funny thing about even having health insurance is that it's so expensive I can't afford my medication's. Before I was on Apple health and my medication was free every doctor visit free everything free. Now with my insurance if I were to try and buy my medication's, it would cost me roughly $150 a month so I've just been taking my antipsychotics once a week when I don't have work and I work six days a week 50 to 60 hours a week. Sorry I keep going on and on about it but you know conversational I don't know if I'm doing this right but thanks for talking to me.

I guess it's private insurance. That's a tricky thing!! But in any case I would prefer it over basic health insurance. But depending on age and many other factors it's tricky. I hope the best for you!